06/06/2026
Wanna know what sucks? That makes a livestock owner sick? Why is farming even on a small scale is lonely?
You work immensely hard to give every animal you raise what they need. To give them a pain free, happy life. And even in trying to do that you are never entirely successful.
And it's hard to talk about it because they feel like personal failures. Every one of them. No matter how much you know you did, you always could have done more.
This winter I lost several goats. And despite over $1000 in testing there were no clear answers or ways to prevent the next one. All we know is it wasn't contagious and each had a different issue. And it was not my fault. This winter was hard on everyone and everything. It was bad luck and a hard winter.
Last week I lost two of my favorite goats to a cougar. Two goats I poured two years of care and love into. The keepers. The ones that were the cream of the crop from my first group of babies. The ones that were supposed to stay here and be part of the foundation of my herd. Ones that came up to me in the pen and knew I was their person. One that I saved from near death as a baby and lived in my house and was raised on a bottle. One that I had in my house this winter when she got sick. A full grown goat that I nursed back to health in my basement while my friends were enjoying their Christmas.
And I can't do anything about it. And I can't know it won't happen again.
I might be "just" a small hobby farmer but that doesn't make it easy or care free. It's a pretty rough hobby, honestly. A hobby of life or death. A hobby that keeps you up at night and can hurt like hell.
