13/08/2026
People who have never been supermarket shopping with me are often shocked. Never really pinned down what I do that’s so different and so shocking.
I do concede that I treat all supermarkets (even supermarkets outside the U.K. that I have never entered into before) as though they are cross between a members’ club and a business lounge in a nice airport. I treat all the staff like they are knowledgeable (I will ask questions, ask for help, be curious and courteous).
Frequently I’ll write shopping lists in the foyer of a supermarket, whilst leaning on a stack of cartons of tinned beer or compost bags, depending on the season.
I’ve been known to brush my hair and my teeth in the supermarket toilets. On hot days a walk round an air conditioned supermarket at midday is a joy. Supermarkets are invariably empty when it really hot outside. And if you walk around the supermarket barefoot, the cold tiles underfoot, are a joy.
The cardboard boxes lettuces and melons are delivered in, I will frequently ask the employees in the produce department if I can take them and pack my shopping into them.
I’ll buy cheese topped rolls in the bakery, tomatoes and hummus and make them into sandwiches (with the aid of my Swiss Army knife) in the foyer of a supermarket. If I’ve been picnicking in the nicer park of the supermarket car park, I’ll wash up all the picnic items in the supermarket toilets.
Also (and this is a secret) at the start of a shop, I’ll put bottle of champagne in the freezer cabinets (the frozen peas section is best) and collect the bottle at the end of the shop, chilled to perfection.
So getting down on my hands and knees to test rolling pins, is absolutely normal. And of course, totally necessary.