17/05/2026
The other week, on a drizzly afternoon in Kauai, we threw the red and yellow carnations of a lei into the Pacific Ocean in honour of my father and my beloved godfather (they were very, very good friends) who passed away years ago.
Yellow was for my Uncle Phil, and red was for daddy, who was never seen without his red socks and red-and-white polka dot handkerchief.
Offering the lei to the ocean symbolises love, the spirit of Aloha, and a final farewell. Doing this in Kauai is also incredibly special to me, as we had a family holiday there together with my godparents and godbrothers a few decades ago that left me with the fondest memories. Pictured in the album is a photo of myself with my godbrothers, taken on a beach just down the road from where Chris and I tossed the flowers.
Being away in a place so beautiful, where I could clear my head, also meant an inflow of thoughts of my father, often accompanied by overwhelming amounts of uncontrollable emotion. In my moments of solitude, there were a lot of tears as I relived memories of my time with him and the many conversations we had. We stumbled across a live performance in a park in Honolulu by the Royal Hawaiian Band, and the music brought up a wave of feelings, acting as a profound companion to the grief and offering a sort of emotional catharsis.
During these times, I am continuing to be kind to myself and letting my feelings flow. I am so thankful for being able to get away to such a beautiful place, be in nature, watch the sunrises and sunsets along the Pacific Ocean, breathe in the fresh salty air, and be amongst family in our special place. đş đŚ