24/04/2026
Seven weeks today, and not a day goes by where I stop missing or thinking about you Daddyđď¸
Through the ebbs and flows of grief, I found that over the past few weeks my motivation to cook, or even think about conjuring up recipes, had dwindled (a strange feeling!). I have found that there is no right or wrong formula for what to eat during grief.
I recently reconnected with someone I knew from my days living in Shanghai. She told me to first give myself permission to talk about it and learn to sit with the discomfort of griefâto let myself be where I need to be and not push myself. When it comes to food and what I am eating, she told me to simply be gentle with myself, prioritising sustenance over perfection. I leant heavily on the kindness of my family, who have been making nourishing meals and all my favorite comfort foods.
A few days ago, I made my first proper meal for Chris and I: a cauliflower rice kedgeree. It wasnât perfectly pictured or styled, but it was deeply nourishing and an experience that brought me some sort of joy.
I fried garlic and onions with cardamom pods, mustard seeds, and bay leaves in butter and olive oil, then tossed in the cauliflower rice which had been stewed in chicken broth. I added in garden peas, flaked salmon baked in a combination of warming spices, fresh parsley and served it with boiled eggs. This dish meant a lot to me as it was all about the intent. The fact that I could muster up some energy to cook us a meal during this challenging season of life đ¤
