15/08/2026
The Fake Girlfriend Wahala ๐๐
Josephine was a woman I loved so much. We dated, we broke up, and itโs already been 5 months since everything scattered. ๐ฅน
Honestly, the breakup pain was not small. I was still somewhere doing emotional rehabilitation, while Josephine had already resumed her life like nothing happened. ๐
The annoying part?
This girl started looking more beautiful after the breakup! ๐ญ
Every time I saw her pictures smiling and looking fresh, my mind would be like:
ยซโGod, na me you dey punish like this?โ ๐ยป
On top of all the money I spent, gifts I bought, food I bought, transport money, data, and all the sacrifices I made for this girlโฆJosephine just moved on like she had already attended a seminar titled โHow To Forget Your Ex In 7 Working Days.โ ๐ญ๐
Me? I was still there calculating my losses.
One day, I said to myself:
โEnough is enough! Today, Josephine must see that I have moved on too!โ ๐
I decided to visit her hair salon with another girl, just to make her jealous small.
The problem?
I didn't have another girl. ๐๐
I started looking for somebody who could pretend to be my girlfriend for just one day.
I was basically searching for a girlfriend like someone searching for a missing ATM card. ๐ญ
Luckily, as I got close to her salon, I saw one very beautiful girl standing there, pressing her phone.
I approached her.
โExcuse me, please. I need your help.โ
She looked at me suspiciously.
I explained everything to her.
I said, โI just need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for about 30 minutes. I want to enter my ex's salon with you and make her jealous.โ
The girl looked at me.
I looked at her.
She looked at me again.
Eventually she agreed. ๐
I appreciated her with โฆ10,000.
At that point, I didn't know whether I was hiring a fake girlfriend or sponsoring a Nollywood production. ๐ญ๐
So we entered the salon together.
Immediately Josephine saw me, her eyes nearly came out of their sockets. ๐
I sat down like a man who had just won a government contract.
I crossed my legs.
Adjusted my shirt.
Put on my โI have moved onโ face.
Then I ordered drinks for the ladies in the salon and even ordered food.
In my mind, I was already imagining Josephine going home to cry.
I was thinking:
โToday, this girl will know that Nary is no longer available.โ ๐
Sarah started serving the drinks to her customers.
She eventually came close to me and looked at the girl beside me.
Then she said:
Josephine: โYour new girlfriend is beautiful.โ
Me, immediately:
โThank you, dear. Sheโs the best thing that has happened to me right now.โ ๐
I was already warming up to drop more dangerous lines.
I wanted to say things like:
โJosephine, life moves on.โ
โYou lost a good man.โ
โI've found happiness.โ
Basically, I wanted to give her a full motivational speech. ๐
But before I could continue, suddenlyโฆ
๐ฑ The girl's phone rang.
She looked at the screen.
Her face changed.
She answered the call.
Girl: โHello, sweetheartโฆ my baby boo! ๐โค๏ธโ
I nearly fainted.
I looked at her.
She continued:
โYes, baby, I'm coming. Please, I only accompanied one man to his ex-girlfriend's salon.โ ๐ญ๐ญ๐
At that moment, my soul left my body.
She turned to me and said:
โOga, like this, my boyfriend dey find me. It was nice doing business with you.โ
BUSINESS?!
๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I had never felt embarrassment like that in my entire life.
The girl stood up and left to meet her actual boyfriend.
I remained there sitting like a man whose network had disappeared during an important bank transaction. ๐
I slowly stood up and prepared to leave.
But before I could escapeโฆ
Sarah called me.
Sarah: โYou think you can make me jealous?โ
She paused.
Looked at me.
Then smiled.
โNews flashโฆ you failed.โ ๐๐๐
The entire salon exploded.
All the ladies started laughing.
One even covered her mouth.
Another one was hitting the table.
At that point, I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or ask for my โฆ10,000 back. ๐ญ๐
I quietly walked out of the salon with the little dignity I had left.
That day I learnt a very important lesson:
Never try to make your ex jealous when you don't even have a girlfriend. ๐๐
Because if you use a stranger as your fake girlfriend, make sure you confirm whether she already has a real boyfriend first! ๐ญ๐คฃ
My own jealousy mission turned into a public entertainment program. ๐๐
๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐ ๐บ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ Me. Nary ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
