23/08/2026
🥂🇹🇭Thai Airways First Class, Royal First Service BKK to Osaka 🇹🇭✨️
"SWAA-DEE-KAAA!" I bellowed the customary Thai greeting to the staff as I clambered aboard and thundered over to seat 1A.
I stomped around with the anticipatory gusto of a T-Rex, ready to pounce on any hapless meal foolhardy enough to trundle past (What can I say? A girl gets peckish in her Luteal Phase). 🦖
One who has not grown up with nice things might immediately pounce upon the lobster for the aesthetic; however I, a jaded food blogger of 12 years, breathlessly took note of the Miso Seabass (a dish normally relegated to Nobu and its various competitors).
I HAD NEVER HAD IT ON BOARD BEFORE 😮TIME FOR ANNIHILATION. 🔥
It arrived, pretty as a picture with a flavour that miraculously shone through, despite being 30,000 feet in the air with severely compromised taste buds. Or was it the Laurent Perrier Grand Siècle talking? Fill 'er up, Kop Kun Kaaaa 🍾 (Okay, I'm out of beginner Thai phrases to flaunt).
I was also charmed by the genuine hospitality and attention to detail exuded by the staff and I'm pleased to say that I can finally write with enthusiasm regarding the dishes, the best I've ever had on any first class flight to date.
As I sat there chomping on my A5 sirloin, it suddenly dawned on me that for the duration of this flight I was less T-Rex and more human version of the very Wagyu cow I was guzzling; from the Thai massage indulged in prior to the flight at the Royal First lounge, to being lovingly plied with all manner of meals from the moment I stepped onto the aircraft. 🐮
I woke from my post-feast slumber to even more sumptuous Thai desserts and it was at that moment that I decided it was time to stop using ch*****ne as a water substitute and start hammering down peppermint tea if I was going to be able to waddle off the plane, mooing contentedly. ☺️
In terms of hard product - though dated, the seat itself was plush and girthy, the amenities sufficient for the 5.5 inch-- HOUR! I MEAN HOUR!!! -- journey.
Pheeeeeew, enough internet for today, everybody. If you enjoyed this, subscribe to the Substack 🤓
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