BP organization

10/05/2026

Today in church, I dozed off during the preaching 😴. Suddenly, I woke up and heard our pastor saying, “Stand on your feet.”

So I stood up 🧍‍♂️

I noticed I was the only one standing, and I could see the shock on everyone’s faces in the church 😳. They were all staring at me, including my girlfriend, AMAKA, and her mother 😬.

The look on their faces confused me until the pastor shouted, “One person is already up. Brother, God bless you 🙏.”

Then he continued:

“Let me repeat myself for the benefit of those who did not hear me clearly. This is your last chance—if you know you are a witch , stand up on your feet for d£liveranc£!” 😳🔥

08/05/2026

6 months ago my neighbor bought a 65-inch television and my wife saw it and said I should also buy a 65-inch television, I bought it.

A few months later, my neighbor bought a Benz car for his wife, and my wife insisted that I must buy her a Benz car too, I bought it.

As if that wasn't enough, my neighbor changed his living room furniture last month and my wife said she liked their new furniture and that I should also change ours, I changed them.

Two weeks ago, my neighbor married a new wife, a very beautiful young lady.

My wife has been acting as though she hasn't seen my neighbor's new wife. My mind is telling me to inform my wife that our neighbor has done a new thing.

It's been four weeks and I've been waiting for my wife to tell me to get a second wife, but she is just quiet, as if she knows nothing about my neighbor marrying another wife. Should I remind her?🙄💔

08/05/2026

I went to my friend’s wedding with one mission only… to chop rice and maybe find love if God permits 😭

As I entered the hall, the AC hit me first. Omo, I adjusted my shirt immediately and started walking around like I came from Banana Island 😂

That was when I saw her.

Tall, beautiful, shining like imported ring light. She was sitting close to the drinks section pressing phone gently. I told myself, “Conquer, today na today.” 😭

I carried one cup of small chops and used style to stand near her.

“Hi… are you the bride’s friend?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

My heart skipped like bad network 😭

I sat down confidently and started pressing conversation.

“Honestly, weddings fit make person believe in love again.”

She laughed.

Omo, the laugh sweet me enter bone marrow 😂

I started upgrading myself immediately.

I told her I’m a businessman.
I didn’t mention that the business is still “loading…” 😭

She asked what I do for fun.

I said, “I travel a lot.”

Meanwhile the farthest place I’ve traveled this year is Area 1 😭💔

Everything was moving smoothly until food started coming out.

The aroma alone nearly made me forget the girl.

But I stayed focused because this was bigger than jollof rice 😂

I was already planning how I’ll collect her number and maybe snap picture together for soft launch…

Suddenly, from nowhere, I heard my mother’s voice behind me.

“Conquer!”

My soul left my body 😭

Before I could turn properly, my mom brought out black nylon from her handbag and said loudly:

“Put this food inside, na our night food be this!” 😂😂😂

I stood there emotional, fighting tears in the middle of the hall while my mother happily marched out with nylon swinging like trophy 😂💔

08/05/2026

One little boy walked straight to his mom and said "Mom, do you know that blessing is an angel"🤔

Mom said "You mean the maid, why do you say that" 🙄

The boy said "Well, because I saw her n@ked in your bedroom with her hands on the wall and she was shouting...."oh God I'm cu***ng... I'm cu***ng ... I'm cu***ng...

If it wasn't for dad who was holding her tight from behind, she would have gone up to Heaven"🙆🙆🙆
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

06/05/2026

Conquer bøught a 🐎donkey from a preacher.

The preacher told Conquer🗣️"this donkey has been trained in a very unique way the only way to make the donkey go
is to say 🗣️Hallelujah and the only way to make it stop is to say Amen."

Conquer immediately got on the änimal to try out the preacher's instructions. He shouted "Hallelujah" and immediately the donkey began to trot.

"Amen!" He shouted again, and the donkey stopped immediately. "This is great," he said.👏😦

With Hallelujah he rode off very proud of his purchase Conquer traveled for a long time through some mountains.⛰️

Soon he was heading towards a volcano⛺he could not remember🤔 the word to make the donkey stop.

🗣️ "STOP!" 🧔He blurted, "HALT!" He blurted again, the donkey just kept going🐎 "Oh no, Bible! Church! Please stop!"Conquer cried🗣️📣😢.

He was getting çloser ⛺🐎and closer to the top of the volcano⛺.

😓Finally in desperatiøn,Conquer said a prayer,🗣️ "Please🙏, dear God👼 please make this donkey🐎 stop before I go off this mountain⛰️, in Jesus name🙏
🗣️📣AMEN!" The donkey🐎 came to an abrupt stop, just one step from the edge of the volcano⛺.

Immediately the donkey stopped🖐️then Conquer joyously shouted, "HALLELUJAH"🙆‍♀️🙆‍♂️

I don't know what happened next 🤷😂😅🤣🤣🤣

06/05/2026

This guy is not cute, no specs, no money, nothing, yet she loved him anyway. Back in the day people were simpler 🥹👀

06/05/2026

DURING MY WAEC EXAM I bounced
and entered the WAEC Examination hall, there was just one prayer
inside my mind which is God please let me sit down near a person
that knows book, because the stupid boy i told to send me the
answer on my phone looks like who doesn't have sense. God
finally answered my prayer, the girl that i sat with was an Albino and she wore medicated eyeglass that has rope, so i knew for sure
that she knows book well well. As the paper started, this girl
started to misbehave ooo. She was just covering her answer
anyhow but as a sharp guy that i am, i was spying the answer from
one deadly angle when it remained just 5 minutes to go, is then
that this girl caught me copying her answer and started shouting at me, but i just ignored her, considering the fact i had almost
copied finish. The next thing that i heard was my phone's message
tune. This useless boy has finally sent the answer, i sighed and
then told the invigilator to give Me a fresh answer booklet. I then
tore the one that i copied from the albino girl and used the paper to
stone Her, i told her that in her life, let her not ever talk to me anyhow again. and i kept the fresh booklet ontop my table and
then used one kind style to open the message. I saw "To Download
BUGA by Kiss Daniel at #50 text 3 to 4900
😂😂😂😂😂

06/05/2026

A boy asked a girl in a library "do
you mind if i sit besides you"?
The girl answered in a loud
angry voice "I don't want to
spend a night with you" All the
people in the library started
starring at the boy and he was
embarrassed. After some
minutes the girl walked quietly to
the guy's table and said to him I
study psychology and i know
what a man is thinking, I guess
you felt embarrassed right? The
guy responded with a loud voice
:$300 dollars for one night that's
too much!! All the people in the
library looked at the girl in shock
and the guy whispered in her
ears. "I study law and i know
how to make someone look
guilty"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

06/05/2026

A pastor stopped at a particular market and saw three girls, an apple seller, a bread seller, and a yam seller pulled by. The pastor said to the apple seller, "Give me one quotation in the bible where an apple is mentioned before I could buy. APPLE SELLER: The Bible says, "You're the apple of my eyes" PASTOR: good, I will buy 4000 naira worth of apples. To the bread seller, PASTOR: Give me a quotation with bread, and I will buy. BREAD SELLER: Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. "PASTOR: Nice! Let me buy 4000 naira worth of bread. To the yam seller, PASTOR: Give me one quotation with yam in the bible, and I will buy. YAM SELLER: Jesus said, "I yam that I yam"
The pastor faiñtéd. 🙆‍♂️😭💔🤣

25/12/2025