15/10/2024
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
WHEN TO GIVE UP ANGER
READ ISAIAH 12:1-6
“I will praise you, LORD. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me.”
ISAIAH 12:1
Tyler could not get over his anger at Deb for ruining their finances. He had brought a little family money into the marriage, and Deb decided to borrow some of it to give to friends and family members who needed it. THE PROBLEM: She never told Tyler that she had taken the money.
Then Tyler saw the bank statement. He became very angry, not because Deb took the money, but because she hadn’t talked to him about it first. It didn’t help when she said that the money was hers as much as his.
Tyler’s anger turned from hot to cold over time, but it never really went away. Eventually it caused emotional distance from his wife and suspicion of everything she did with money. He questioned her about every penny she spent, while withholding from her bank statements, tax returns, investment paperwork and other information about finances. The more he mistrusted Deb, the more deceptive she became about money.
Meanwhile, the marital relationship suffered. Deb withdrew into the more welcoming arms of her family, and Tyler buried himself in his work, spending more time away from his wife. Neither husband nor wife turned to each other or to the Lord to find a way to reconcile.
Husbands and wives may find good justification for being angry with each other. But they can be childish and destructive in holding on to that anger. Isaiah tells us that the Lord is righteously angry when his own children, whom he loves, offend him. He is holy and just in that anger. But at a certain point, God chooses to give up his anger. When his people turn to him with a repentant heart, he forgives them and welcomes them back into his arms. God demonstrates that the party_ ```“in the right”``` _has to take steps to forgive the offender to begin the process of reconciliation.
Tyler and Deb learned how that worked, but not before they had each suffered much pain. In the emotional distance of their relationship, Tyler found comfort in a coworker and had an affair with her. When Deb learned about the infidelity, she was furious. She was as righteous in her anger against her husband as he had once been against her for cleaning out their savings account.
The couple didn’t want to end the marriage. After much counseling and prayer, Tyler asked his wife for forgiveness for cheating on her, for keeping her at a distance, for nitpicking about money and for holding on to his anger. Likewise, Deb agreed to give up her anger against Tyler for having an affair. She also asked his forgiveness for spending so much time with her family and for being secretive about money.
God, the ultimate forgiver, became their salvation and their defense. It was and is a difficult process, but in giving up their anger, this couple could once more learn to trust, love and comfort each other.
—JOHN R. THROOP
Forgiving Father, thank you for demonstrating your ability to give up anger and extend forgiveness to those who repent, may Tyler and Deb's story inspire us to release our own anger and resentments, seeking reconciliation and forgiveness in our relationships, just as you have forgiven us in Jesus name.
LET’S TALK
• What are some reasons why we hang on to anger in our marriage?
• What are some steps involved in rebuilding trust after it has been broken?
• How do we avoid giving in to destructive anger in our relationship? What happens if one of us holds on to a grudge?
Good morning to you and a transformative Tuesday ❤️
