St Asuzu Alfred P. M.

St Asuzu Alfred P. M. This is simply me.

10/03/2026

EPISODE 3: THE DAY I UNDERSTOOD

"The moment I learned my father died protecting me… the wealth I spent years building suddenly felt worthless."

That night, I couldn’t sleep.

Not in my mansion.

Not in my expensive bed.

Not under the comfort of security guards and electric gates.

Because every time I closed my eyes…

I saw my father.

Standing in the shadows.

Watching me from a distance.

Protecting a son who hated him.

I kept hearing my mother’s words.

“He found you years later.”

“But he stayed away.”

I drove through Nairobi all night.

From Westlands to Ngara.

From Ngong Road to Kibera.

Searching for something.

Maybe forgiveness.

Maybe peace.

Maybe a version of myself I had lost.

At sunrise, I returned to the shack.

My mother was sitting outside.

Wrapped in a thin shawl.

Watching the morning light.

She looked smaller than before.

Fragile.

Like someone the wind could carry away.

When she saw me, she tried to stand.

But her body was too weak.

For the first time in twenty years…

I noticed something.

She was not the strong woman I remembered.

She was just a tired mother.

Broken by life.

I sat beside her.

Neither of us spoke.

The silence was heavy.

But this time…

It wasn’t filled with anger.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally asked.

Her eyes filled with tears.

“Because we promised each other something.”

“Who?”

“Your father and I.”

She looked at the dusty road.

“We promised that if you survived…”

“We would never drag you back into our
struggles.”

My chest tightened.

“But I hated you,” I whispered.

She smiled sadly.

“Yes.”

“And you still never told me the truth?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Her answer was simple.

“Because a parent’s love is not always understood by the child.”

I stared at the ground.

For years, I believed something.

That I had raised myself.

That I owed my parents nothing.

That my success belonged only to me.

But suddenly…

I saw the invisible hands behind my survival.

A father who died protecting my future.

A mother who carried the blame so I could live freely.

And I realized something painful.

Sometimes…

Children judge their parents by what they saw.

But life is deeper than what children see.

That day, I made a decision.

Not out of pity.

Not out of guilt.

But out of understanding.

I rebuilt the shack.

Not because my mother asked.

Because my father deserved to see his sacrifice honored.

I moved my mother to a small house in Lang’ata.

Not a mansion.

But a peaceful home.

With sunlight.

With clean water.

With dignity.

Every Sunday, I sit with her.

And she tells me stories about my father.

Stories I never knew.

Stories about a man who loved his son more than his own life.

And every time I hear them…

I ask myself one question.

How many children are still angry today…

Because they never heard the full story?

The truth is simple.

Some parents fail their children.

But some parents suffer silently for them.

And sometimes…

The difference between abandonment and sacrifice…

Is a truth we discover too late.

If you are lucky enough to still have your

parents alive…

Talk to them.

Ask questions.

Listen.

Because one day…

The answers may disappear forever.

THE END










08/02/2026

EPISODE 4: Learning to Be Soft Without Bleeding

Healing was not dramatic.

It was quiet.

Oluchi began listening—to herself, to her patterns, to her fear of closeness. She noticed how control had replaced trust, how dominance had replaced vulnerability.

An elderly woman once told her at the market,
“You carry strength like a weapon. But weapons are heavy.”

She finally understood.

When she met Ifeanyi again, she didn’t argue. She didn’t beg.

“I don’t hate you,” she said calmly.
“But I don’t need you to fix what you didn’t break.”

She walked away—not in bitterness, but in clarity.

Oluchi learned to ask for help without shame. To receive love without suspicion. To soften without bleeding.

She was no longer fighting life.
She was understanding it.

And that was when love returned—unexpectedly.






06/02/2026

EPISODE 1: Born Into Survival

Oluchi did not grow up learning how to dream.
She grew up learning how to endure.

Raised by a single mother who sold vegetables by the roadside, Oluchi learned early that hunger does not wait for excuses. Her father was a shadow—spoken of in bitterness, never in stories. Life was not cruel to her; it was simply indifferent.

School came through the kindness of one man—Nestor, a distant relative who believed education was the only inheritance worth leaving behind. He paid her primary school fees quietly, never asking for praise.

“Education,” he once told her, “is what no one can take from you.”

Oluchi held onto those words like scripture.

She was sharp, alert, and determined in school. Hunger made her attentive. Poverty made her competitive. But just as stability began to form, it collapsed.

Nestor fell ill.
Then Nestor died.

With his death came unpaid fees, torn uniforms, and humiliation. Oluchi dropped out of school and entered the market at eleven—picking fruits, bargaining fiercely, learning how to confront adults without fear.

She didn’t cry.
She adapted.

By the time she returned to complete primary school through the help of strangers, something had hardened inside her. She trusted effort, not people. Control, not kindness.

What Oluchi didn’t know was that the strength saving her life was quietly reshaping her heart.






01/02/2026

EPISODE 5 (FINAL): What Survived the Silence

Some endings don’t come with closure.
They come with distance.

After everything—
the fear,
the blackmail,
the unanswered calls—
Tolu made a choice that saved his life.

He left the country.

No drama.
No announcement.
Just a quiet exit from a place that demanded his silence to exist.

Europe welcomed him with what home never did:
safety. Dignity. Room to breathe.

He studied again.
Worked harder.
Healed slowly.

Years passed.

The boy who once trembled at every phone vibration became a man who spoke without fear.
The student who hid his truth became a doctor—working with the World Health Organization.

And one day, life surprised me too.

Tolu didn’t just escape alone.

He reached back.

He helped me relocate.

Not as a saviour.
Not as a debt.
But as love that had survived distance, fear, and time.

We healed—in a place where love didn’t need to whisper.

Then came the irony.

One evening, a video circulated online.

A WHO conference in South Africa.
Global leaders. Cameras flashing.

And there was Tolu—
confident, calm, brilliant—
speaking about health, humanity, and inclusion.

That was when his family saw him.

The same family that rejected him.
The same home that made him choose exile over truth.

They reached out.

Messages. Calls. Apologies wrapped in pride.

But Tolu didn’t respond.
Not out of bitterness.
Out of boundaries.

Because forgiveness doesn’t always mean access.

And the cousin?

The one who outed him.
The one who traded silence for pocket money.

He stayed.

He became a classroom teacher in a government public primary school.

Teaching children.
Shaping futures.

Life didn’t punish him loudly.
It simply placed him exactly where his choices led.

Some people think this story is about revenge.

It’s not.

It’s about consequences.

It’s about how:

* Silence can save lives
* Love can wait
* And sometimes, walking away is how you live

Tolu didn’t win because he became successful.

He won because he survived.

And some of us don’t go back—not because we hate where we came from,
but because returning would mean shrinking again.

FINAL NOTE:

Not everyone who leaves is ungrateful.
Some leave because staying would have destroyed them.

If someone you love goes quiet…
ask yourself what world you’re asking them to be loud in.

THE END.





31/01/2026

EPISODE 4: When the Truth Finally Spoke

The exposure didn’t come with shouting.

It came quietly.

A slip of the tongue.
A suspicious conversation overheard.
A rumor passed with cruel curiosity.

Soon, whispers followed Tolu.

Eyes lingered too long.
Laughter stopped when he walked by.
Friends became strangers.

Then came the confrontation.

His cousin stood over him one evening and said:

“You can’t keep running forever.”

That was the night Tolu broke.

Not loudly.
Not dramatically.

He cried the kind of tears that come from years of holding breath.

He wasn’t crying because he was gay.
He was crying because the world had taught him to hate himself for it.

Because in his culture, being exposed meant:

* Losing family
* Losing safety
* Losing education
* Sometimes… losing life

People talk about “coming out” as if it’s always brave and freeing.

But for many like Tolu, coming out is not courage.

It’s a gamble.

And sometimes, the price is too high.

By the time he finally called me back, his voice was thinner.

“I didn’t disappear because I stopped loving you,”
he said softly.
“I disappeared because I didn’t know how to survive and love at the same time.”

That was when I understood.

This wasn’t a story about betrayal.

It was a story about fear.
About blackmail.
About a system that punishes people for existing.

Some people lose lovers because of distance.
Some because of lies.

Others lose them to silence—
forced by a world that refuses to make room for their truth.

And sometimes…
love doesn’t end.

It just goes quiet.





31/01/2026

EPISODE 3: The Silence Wasn’t Rejection

People think silence is cruelty.

Sometimes, silence is survival.

Tolu stopped calling me—not because he stopped loving me,
but because every call felt like a risk.

Each vibration of his phone made his heart race.
Each unknown number felt like danger.
Each message threatened to expose the truth he was desperately hiding.

His cousin didn’t just take his money.
He took his peace.

Every week came a reminder:

“I’m still watching.”

Tolu began to live two lives.

One for the world—
Straight smiles. Careful words. Pretended indifference.

And one for himself—
Fear. Shame. Loneliness. A love he couldn’t protect.

At night, he lay on his bunk staring at the ceiling, asking questions he had no answers to.

Why was loving someone of the same gender a crime?
Why did honesty feel like a death sentence?
Why did his heart feel illegal?

People often say:

“Why not just stop being gay?”

As if it were a switch.
As if identity were a choice.
As if denying yourself didn’t slowly kill you.

Tolu wasn’t confused.
He wasn’t experimenting.
He wasn’t possessed.

He was simply himself—in a world that refused to let him exist safely.

And while I waited on the other end of unanswered calls,
he was fighting a war I couldn’t see.

A war where love was dangerous…
and silence was armor.

But armor gets heavy.
And secrets don’t stay buried forever.

28/01/2026

EPISODE 4: Running Toward Lagos or Death

It was a Friday morning. Very early.

No goodbye. No money. No plan.

I slipped out through the back door and walked until fear became determination. At the park, I boarded any vehicle heading to Lagos.

The car was bad. The road was worse.

We broke down several times. Each stop felt like the end. I was 19 years old, carrying nothing but stubborn hope.

I told myself: If this journey kills me, so be it. But I will never return.

I arrived in Lagos alive.

Not to my father’s house. But to Auntie Agatha’s.

She loved God deeply. She chased Jesus everywhere. But she was hardly home.

Once again, I was alone.

This time, though, something was different.

I wasn’t a child anymore.

👉 Final Episode: The long road to becoming someone.







27/01/2026

EPISODE 3: The North and the Death of Childhood

I followed my uncle to the North without knowing I was signing another contract of suffering.

This time, it was worse.

I worked in his shop. Sold goods. Carried loads. Ran errands. Slept on cold floors with other boys who were “serving.”

School? That was a luxury I wasn’t allowed to want.

Even secondary school—when I attended, my mind was never there. Too many chores. Too many nights spent guarding the shop instead of reading books.

One day, I gathered courage.

“Uncle, I want to continue my education.”

That sentence earned me the beating of my life.

I was beaten not for stealing. Not for lying. But for dreaming.

That night, lying on the shop floor, I made a decision:

"If I stay here, I will die slowly. If I run, I may die fast—but I will be free."

I chose freedom.

👉 Next Episode: The Friday I ran with nothing but courage.







26/01/2026

EPISODE 2: My Father’s House, My Prison

The city was loud. Busy. Unkind.

When we arrived, my father introduced me to a woman I had never seen before.

“This is your new mother.”

She wasn’t.

She later gave birth to six children for my father. Six.

And somehow, I became less than all of them.

In that house, I wasn’t a child. I was labor.

I woke before everyone. I slept after everyone. I cooked, cleaned, fetched, washed, ran errands. When food was scarce, I understood without being told—I wasn’t priority.

There were days I looked at my father and wondered: Is this man truly my father?

No hugs. No protection. No questions asked when I was punished.

Just silence.

By the time I was twelve, hope had already begun to feel like a foolish thing to carry.

Then my uncle came visiting—from the North.

And without warning, my life was packed again.

👉 Next Episode: From one bondage… to another.







25/01/2026

EPISODE 1: Taken at Four

I was four years old when my life split in two.

That morning, my mother held me tighter than usual. Her hands were shaking. I didn’t know why. I only knew she smelled like tears.

We were five children—three girls and two boys. I was supposed to be the fourth. But death had already visited us. Esther, my elder sister, the second born, was gone. Just like that, I became the third.

My parents had fought for years. Loud fights. Silent fights. The kind that leaves scars even when no one is hit.

Then my father left.

He abandoned my mother and three of us in the village… and took only one child with him—Hilary, the eldest.

Years later, he came back for me.

I remember being lifted into a vehicle I didn’t recognize. My mother’s cries followed us until the road swallowed her voice. I thought I was going to a better life.

I didn’t know I was being taken away from the last place I was loved.

At four years old, I was relocated into suffering.

Next Episode: The house where I became a servant, not a son.







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