07/01/2016
How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie
Techniques In Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn or complain (Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let's figure out why they do what they do.)
Give honest and sincere appreciation (Hurting people does not change them, neither is it caused for. Let’s try to figure out the other person's good points.)
Arouse in the other person an eager want (Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.)
Six Ways To Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people (If you want others to like you, If you want to develop real relationships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself. Keep this principle in mind.)
Smile (It costs nothing, but creates much. For nobody needs a smile as much as those who have none left to give)
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language (From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others)
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves (If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. Remember that the people you're talking too are a hundred times more interested in themselves than they are interested in you)
Talk in terms of the other person's interests (Talking in terms of the other person's interests pays off for both parties)
Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely (Every person we meet is our superior in some way. With that being said, we learn from them and value them)
Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it (A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still. Control your temper, welcome disagreement, look for areas of agreement, and thank your opponent sincerely for their interest)
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, “You’re Wrong” (Don’t argue with your customer, spouse, or adversary. Don’t get them stirred up. Use a little diplomacy)
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically (By fighting you’ll never get enough. But by yielding, you’ll get more than you expected)
Begin in a friendly way (The sun can make you take off your coat easier than the wind; the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the blunder and storming in the world)
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately (Socrates Method: Based upon getting a “yes, yes” response. Ask questions with which your opponent have to agree. Keep winning one admission after another until you have an armful of yeses. Without realizing it, your opponent will embrace a conclusion that they would have bitterly denied a few minutes prior)
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking (People would rather talk to us about their achievements than listen to ours. If you want enemies, excel people; but if you want friends, let people excel you)
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers (It’s wiser to make suggestions and let the other person think about the conclusion. The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams, is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams)
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view (Seeing things through another person’s eyes will ease tension when problems become overwhelming)
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires (Three-Fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
Appeal to the nobler motives (Be understanding and see the good intentions in another person)
Dramatize your ideas (The truth has to be made interesting, vivid, and dramatic. You have to use showmanship.The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention)
Throw down a challenge (Use some sort of competition to get people involved, if all else fails. People love to prove their wort!)
Be a leader.
How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation (Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing)
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly (Change the word “but” to “and.” Use praise to land the target issue nice and easy)
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person (It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he too, is far from impeccable)
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders (Always give suggestions, not orders. Never say “Do this or do that”“Don’t do this or Don’t do that,” Ask “Do you think this or that would work?”)
Let the other person save face (We have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a person in their own eyes. What matters is not what we think of them, but what they think of themselves. Hurting a person’s dignity is a crime)
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." (Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement)
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to (If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics. Openly state to the person that they have the virtue that you want them to develop. Naturally, they will pursue great efforts rather than see you disillusioned)
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct (Tell your child, spouse, or employee the he or she is bad at something and you’ll destroy all incentive for them to improve. But use the opposite technique; make the task seem easy to do, let them know you have faith in their ability to do it, there's an undeveloped flair to do it, and they will practice until the dawn comes in order to excel)
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest (Be sincere, know exactly what you want them to do, Be emphatic, Consider benefits for them, Match those benefits to their wants, Let them know how it will personally benefit them)
Seven Rules For Making Your Relationship Life Happier
Rule 1: Don't nag
Rule 2: Don't try to make your partner over
Rule 3: Don't criticize
Rule 4: Give honest appreciation
Rule 5: Pay little attentions
Rule 6: Be courteous
Rule 7: Remain sexually open minded
