Sh-t I Feed My Wife

Sh-t I Feed My Wife I review restaurants after I take a lot of pics of my food and my wife while she eats. Everybody needs a shtick. I also cook food at home.

I dont just go out, got a knack for cooking too. Made dinner the other night- Woodfire Garlic Bone-In Pork Chop with Blu...
11/21/2024

I dont just go out, got a knack for cooking too. Made dinner the other night-

Woodfire Garlic Bone-In Pork Chop with Blueberry Balsamic Reduction, Goat Cheese Mashed Taters, and Asparagus

10/14/24 - Well its been two years since we said “I do” and death hasnt done us part in any way shape or form no matter ...
11/21/2024

10/14/24 - Well its been two years since we said “I do” and death hasnt done us part in any way shape or form no matter how many pictures ive posted of my amazing wife stuffing her face so we made a reservation for our anniversary dinner tradition at 1921 in Mount Dora. By the way i know some of yall complain about “long reviews” so instead ill call this one “copiously informative” because youre in a food review to read about food.

1921 is easily the best restaurant in that entire area and would compete for the entire state honestly. Almost all of their ingredients are locally sourced from farms and ranches and the Atlantic Ochin as well as the Gulf of Meheeco. While i typically scoff at “fArM tO taBlE” restaurants because i usually think theyre a gimmick, 1921 proves itself time and time again that it lives up to the hype. It also has the distinction of being a semi-upscale place that makes me feel comfortable and i dont have to wear a tie. Take me somewhere super fancy and i dont know how to act or which fork to use or any of that mess. Im just a poor Florida boy.

Reservation set at 6:30, i enjoy a good happy hour so i persuaded the Missus to get there around 5:30 and have a couple of cocktails and apps at the bar. 1921 has by far one of the best happy hours on Gods green earth and its worth the stop whether just after work or before dinner. We each got dranks, i got my trademark old fashioned and boo thang got her a fancy gin cocktail that i forgot to get a description of, but it was fruity and lovely and didnt taste like a lime lacroix christmas tree. 1921 was the first place i ever had a spirit-forward cocktail like an old fashioned and i have to say its still one of the best ive ever had. For apps we ordered the chefs choice of artisan cheeses and smoked chicken wings. And i know, wings at a fancy place? Mike youre a poor Florida boy not a heathen, but i saw them on Instagram and i needed them to cross the threshold of my mouth hole. The wings were smoked and lightly charred in a Korean gochujang glaze which was perfect sweet, spicy and crispy, served with a pickled carrot scallion salad. Id eat a whole plate of them and be thrilled. The cheeses came served with pepper jelly, whole grain mustard, and herb lavash crackers. Idk what those are but they were legit.

2 cocktails later, it was time to take our place at our table. The wife thought i was silly when i asked her about an appetizer, so i got myself 4 raw oysters. They came rather quickly, properly chilled on ice with a red pepper mignonette and cocktail sauce. These oysters were large and sourced from the Indian River, were clean and had nice salinity, and the mignonette was so good i literally drank part of it because as it turns out i actually am a heathen.

As we decided on entrees, wifey got herself a glass of moscato and while i perused the whiskey list, a cocktail called the Black Buffalo caught my eye. It was basically their twist on a black cherry Manhattan. Now, deciding on entrees here is almost always difficult and ill confess i almost always get the pork chop type meal here because their pork is some of the best on planet earf…. So what did i order? The pork ribeye. Duh. Wifey usually has a disdain for pasta based dishes but almost every time weve been shes ordered one because theyre that good. This time was no different when she got the ragu. Food came in the perfect length of time.

Pork Ribeye was cooked a perfect medium, and i dont care if youre a boomer who came from the time of pork under super well done gave you brucellosis, its 2024 and medium is correct. It was glazed in an apple-fennel bbq sauce and a green tomato chow chow *eyes rolled into the back of my head* with tiny edible purple flowers and came with confit sweet potatoes. If you dont know what that is it means theyre potatoes boiled in FAT til theyre done and crispy. Ill never be a skinny man. Wifeys Ragu was house made pappardelle tossed in a tomato sauce with an abundance of braised beef source from the FFA. Because its Lake County and the FFA exists here. The dish was topped with a parmesan reggiano cheese that clearly did not come from Winn Dixie. I finished my meal, wifey took half of hers home and it was even better the next day.

She only ate half because she wanted to save room for dessert. We ordered the goat cheese cheesecake. And good golly miss molly it was indeed the GOAT. On a graham crust with homemade charred marshmallows and shards of chocolate laden within, topped with graham crunch. We killed it and raved.

Anyway. Then we went home and passed out cause it was a school night and we are now an old married couple.

TL;DR Version: Get yourself an awesome wife to take for a fancy feeding every year. If you dont wanna read the review im sorry this was my anniversary and it deserves the whole story.

9/17/24 - So my mom asks me hey Mike where do you want to go for your birthday dinner with the family and i was like sho...
11/21/2024

9/17/24 - So my mom asks me hey Mike where do you want to go for your birthday dinner with the family and i was like shooooooo lemme think on that and after literal days of ponderance because thats a serious decision i ended on The District in Sanford because its delicious and ive never had a bad meal there and they have a pork chop the size of a large toddlers head. So i told my mom and she remarked wow small menu but that didnt dissuade me, i wanted a pork chop and theres nothing bad at The District.

Wifey and i showed up and took a bangin selfie, look how hot she is please and yes i am as gigantic as i look in pictures, and then we got cocktails at the bar on happy hour. She got the Gin & Jam and i got whats their clear signature beverage as its called “The District.” Hers was made with orange marmalade which is think is just British jelly and got rave reviews, mine was basically an orange-heavy old fashioned, also fire but i forgot to take a pic of wifeys so i included a screenshot of her instagram story. We just got our drinks when my mom, dad, and sister walked in the door and we got seated.

After much perusal of the menu, my dad went back and forth between three things while my wife and i talked up the pork chop to my mom. When the server came back, my dad ordered the “new orleans” seabass with crawfish which wasnt even on the radar til he ordered, my mom, wife and i all ordered the pork chop because theres a REASON its first on the menu, and my sister ordered nothing because shes super picky and wouldnt eat anything. She was a blue light special at KMart when we got her. Just as good as the one from Sears but a lot cheaper.

Food came and my dads sea bass with crawfish was beautiful, our pork chops were gigantic and my sisters plate was nonexistent. Dad dug into his and he remarked that it was all delish and the cajun sauce was great, the polenta had a nice touch. I had a bite and can confirm it was all fantastic. My mom couldnt believe how big the chop was and tried to hold it up to her head. When she took a bite she was blown away, my wife and i already knew. Keep in mind my parents grew up in the age of cooking pork into concrete because swine brucelosis was going to kill everybody and a medium pork chop was a new concept. The pork chop comes with boursin mashed taters which make anybody moan, seasonal veggies, and the chop is topped with a seasonal jam, this one was mission fig which went perfectly with the boursin mashed taters. The chop is bone-in, about 2 inches thicc, perfectly medium, and incredibly tender. Dads meal had two bites left that he actually put in my moms box, and the rest of us had half a chop left at least.

No room for dessert because that chop is worth stuffing yourself uncomfortably. Both of my parents mentioned “when” they come back. Suggested it to my buddy Patrick the bird man for his birthday the next day and he decimated a pork chop as well.

TL;DR Version: My sister only eats beige food and The District is anything but beige. Im a mid 30s millennial so “RuN doNt WaLk” as the boomers say.

9/12/24 - Welcome everybody to my guest-bite review series where i take photos of my friends and loved ones eating inste...
11/21/2024

9/12/24 - Welcome everybody to my guest-bite review series where i take photos of my friends and loved ones eating instead of my wife to give her a break. Surprise tho its just this review because i dont have that many friends (wifey says “LIES”).

Anyway we decided to travel far and wide so we could take my eleventy year old grandmother out for brunch. It was only 25 minutes to Winter Park and shes not quite 90, but she was a USO girl in the War Between the States so she deserves nice things. We went and snatched her up, making sure she had her eatin teef in, which is a bold faced lie because she has all of her original chompers, and took her to the original Tibbys in Winter Park. She loves Tibbys but she had never been for brunch, she didnt even know they had brunch and a lot of folks dont.

We were promptly seated and our server took our drink order which was all soft drinks, id typically get one or three of their $6 hurricanes but i had precious cargo to be sharp for. The server missed Grandmas coffee order bringing water instead, but quickly rectified with a fresh cup.

After perusal of the brunch menu, Grandma remarked that the fun benedicts werent quite up her alley and decided to ask for a standard benedict. She tells the server she only wants a regular benedict, with egg, no ham, and hollandaise on a biscuit, and then asked this sweet young man if it was only one egg because she wasnt that hungry, but he said its a split biscuit with two poached eggs. After some grumbling she accepted that it was two but she would take half home. A side was out of the question, she had half a bottle of water already and couldnt eat a side too. Wifey got the chicken and maple bacon benedict with fresh fruit, and i ordered the Ritas chicken biscuits with cajun taters.

Food came pretty fast. Wifeys was a poached egg and hollandaise over maple bacon and half a fried chicken b**b on a biscuit with what tasted like a drizz of syrup. Delicious. Fruit was fresh and crisp. Mine is a brunch play on their dinner entree Ritas Chicken, two biscuit sammies with half a fried chicken b**b each and topped with their lemon butter sauce which honestly is the star of the show. The cajun taters are crispy diced home fries with cajun seasoning, cant really mess those up. On them i drizzed some of their house cayenne and horseradish hot sauce, which i bought a bottle of because it will be bangin on shrimp or oysters. Grandmas came, and there it was, exactly what she ordered. And she obliterated it. Both eggs, both biscuits, all of it. Dang near licked the plate. The server came over and remarked she wouldnt be needing a box after all. I suggested some beignets as a cap to the brunch and Grandma said she wouldnt mind that.

Beignets came quickly, perfect airy pillows of crispy fried dough covered in what looked like a frat party with Eric Clapton attending in 1978. The sugary white Christmas aside, they p**f air when you bite em so you gotta be tactful about where you chomp down. Grandma took hers in three bites. A pro move is to sprinkle some fresh lemon juice on them.

Wifey and I’s leftovers boxed up, we paid our not too terrible tab and bounced out of there at Mach Grandma so she could go home and not drink any more water that day.

TL;DR Version: Dont let geriatrics lie to you they WILL eat all their food and water is essential to their survival.

9/9/24 - Hello everybody, i hope all of you have been well. Ive still been eating and havent missed a daily feeding but ...
11/21/2024

9/9/24 - Hello everybody, i hope all of you have been well. Ive still been eating and havent missed a daily feeding but regrettably havent been reviewing because 1) ive been dieting kind of and 2) Lifes been a little insane and i just havent had the time. Well wifey and I were out doing something in Winter Park, probably plant shopping because hanging out with your wife executing her hobbies and loves is the secret to marriage, when we decided we were hangry. Being that we were cruising down 17-92, i suggested Athenas because its delicious, and im not fat because i make poor decisions with my food.

We waddled in right as it began to rain because we have impeccable timing. Athenas Roasted Chicken has an obviously Greek background in their food if you needed that to be mansplained, and upon entry is very cafeteriaish in style but has a plethora of Greek decor. The menu is simple, and honestly theyll probably sell you anything in any combination if you ask nicely because theyre a kind hospitable people. Im italian and even though we are across the Mediterranean from the Greeks, we share not only the same spice palette but also the same type of families, we can watch the Big Fat Greek Wedding movies and notate which characters are which family members, so it feels like home.

The incredibly sweet cashier took our orders, wifey got a half chicken with lemon greek potatoes and greek tater salad and a multigrain roll. I ordered half a chicken which comes with a slice of pita and a small Greek salad, AND because im fat i got a whole roasted yard bird to-go too because its only like $10 and youd be vastly unintelligent not to take advantage of such a killer deal in this trash economy.

We were peckish so it was fortuitous that our chicken came out quickly. Lols peckish. The chicken was as always absolutely outstanding- Moist, tender, and delicious, even white meat. White meat is a scam just like filet mignon, its marketed exclusively as being better because its tender blah blah but its actually trash because its comparatively dry and has no flavor, its just boring. Dark meat is where its at for flavor, texture, and happiness, but at Athena its all delicious. HOWEVER as we all know, a chickens skin is what matters. Id ball up an entire chicken skin, cover it in panko and fry it whole in beef tallow because thatd be the delicious American thing to do if it was economically feasible and my heart wouldnt give out. Athenas chicken skin is incredibly flavorful and still kinda crispy. Whatever they marinate their birds in is delicious.

The Greek salads here are the definition of delicious simplicity. Lettuce, mater, greek olives, onions, green peppers, a pepperoncini, and some thiccccc chonky slices of feta. Honestly id pay for just the feta. A perfect amount of oil and vinegar dressing later and my mouf was happy happy happy. I shred some of my chicky up to mix in; you can buy it laden with chicken already but then you dont get the skin.

The taters which ive had before are lovely. I had a single bite of each just to remind myself for the review and the emotion that escaped my lips was “Daddy!!” Lemony tender smoove taters and delicious creamy herby tater salad. You cant go wrong. And the breads are always fire, theyll grill the pita for you.

We didnt get dessert but it all looked amazing. And the to-go chicken came back to life beautifully in the air fryer for 2 days afterwards. They self proclaim they have the best chicken in town, and they are correct

TL;DR Version: Bangin chicken and baller sides for a nominal fee. If youre new and think this review was too long just show me on the doll where it hurt you and then put some windex on it.

7/21/24 - I think im gonna start a series of reviews called “Mikes Short Reviews” because we all deserve some fast grati...
11/21/2024

7/21/24 - I think im gonna start a series of reviews called “Mikes Short Reviews” because we all deserve some fast gratification. On the way to the Cost Co today, wife wanted something to wet her whistle so we decided to try the new Dutch Bros on SR-436 in fake Winter Park. We pulled up and the drive thru was fairly outrageous, two lines with a young man taking orders in the equatorial heat and spirit crushing humidity, but he was still upbeat and happy even being drenched in sweat, it was reminiscent of Chickfila level service. Wife ordered a Golden Eagle which sounds kind of American in this Dutch world but its just iced coffee with vanilla and caramel breve with caramel drizzle. My basic ass got an iced vanilla latte. We paid our 12 something bucks for two dranks and tipped the young man because he was putting some serious sweat into it, and pulled up to the window, passing the “Broista” entrance. Not a single “bro” was there, not a single lifted F150, Challenger, or Lexus in the parking lot and all of the staff seemed to be decent folks. We looked inside and they seem to be sponsored by Torani. Anyway, coffee came out and both were the color of a basic bros light tan 5 inch inseam khaki shorts they got from Abercrombie. A quick taste revealed both tasting like the coffee version of a LaCroix- Milk basically spritzed with coffee essence. Mine was under sweetened, Boo Thangs was oversweetened. Also like 3/4 of the drinks were ice. We rate this joint a 4/10, we dont get the hype. End of review.

TL;DR Version: Dont be lazy this was like 4 sentences and theres even pictures below, check out Boo’s new Bajio sunglasses.

7/20/24 - The wife suga-momma’d me and took me to the replacement Cold Stone in Oviedo that took the place of the last o...
11/21/2024

7/20/24 - The wife suga-momma’d me and took me to the replacement Cold Stone in Oviedo that took the place of the last one that failed so many years ago. Cold Stone : Ice Cream :: Starbucks : Coffee. Its good, its consistent, but its expensive and the size names are stupid. Theres nothing wrong with small, medium, and large. Hippies. End of review.

TL;DR Version: See pictures.

6/27/24 - Life has been great lately- been traveling a lot, doing fun things, got what my wife calls a “super handsome” ...
11/21/2024

6/27/24 - Life has been great lately- been traveling a lot, doing fun things, got what my wife calls a “super handsome” headshot taken at work (gave a framed copy to my parents for mothers and fathers day), and been having fun exploring this fairly restrictive diet. Basically, my diet is like the catholicism i grew up whos main rule was “If it’s fun, stop its bad.” So when wifey and I had a fancy date night with a semi-cheat meal recently, that just topped off life. And where did we go? The Hangry Swine!!! Thats what i call the Ravenous Pig at least, or more affectionately, Mike when hes got a bucket of deviled eggs in front of him.

We had to be at the Orlando Science Center for 21+ night so we didnt extend the evening with an appetizer, at least that was my excuse i told myself because non of the apps were on my diet. All looked amazing though.

For beverages the boo thang got some kind of gin smash thing made with gin and sparkly liquid and a fruity jam, it changes flavors regularly and she really liked it. I got a toasted bourbon because im a grown man with a beard on a diet who couldnt have an old fashioned.

For entrees, i got the Blackened Tuna Steak, wifey got this Crab pasta dish, i forget what its. I forgot to take a picture of the menu and when i looked online it wasnt there, but i digress. While we waited, we admired the mood of the Ravvy P which is modern and contemporary yet still a little old fashioned and upscale, but you could still go with your buddies to their adjacent brewery garden.

Entrees came, the tuna steak comes with a shaved vegetable salad tossed in an herbacious dressing and served with a bearnaise butter. The tuna was perfectly rare, excellently blackened, and super tender, it “melted” in my mouf, and the veggie salad was crunchy, crispy, and nicely dressed and tangy. Ive never had tuna without an Asian influence so this was a nice change. Wifeys pasta was long noodles, maybe spaghetti? with loads of blue crab, romano cheese, peas, and fiddlehead ferns. The sweet delicateness of the crab paired exceptionally well with the rich cheese and pasta with the veggies adding a fresh crunch. For those of you who have never had fiddlehead ferns its like an asparagus curled up in the fetal position.

Time for dessert, its strictly not on my diet so i bullied my wife into getting what she wanted without feeling like she guilted me. She ordered a scoop of roasted peach ice cream and the server looked at me like i was stupid so i said fine theres vanilla flavor in bourbon and i ordered a second. Her scoop came and got rave reviews from her sweet teeth, it was atop a some crumbly sugary streusel or something, and at some point i need it. Like by itself, as part of another dessert, in a milkshake, it doesnt matter but it will enter my mouth hole at some point. All of their desserts looked amazing.

Anyway, its a fun and delicious place to go which will put a dent in your wallet but its a great place for occasions, they also do the Magical Dining in September if you wanna try it for less expensiveness.

TL;DR Version: Its the kind of place you expect to leave poor and hungry, and you kind of do, but its very well worth it, just need to order more next time.

6/24/24 - Well hello there my foodie frands, i have finally returned to Reviewville after 4 weeks on my diet and have pa...
11/21/2024

6/24/24 - Well hello there my foodie frands, i have finally returned to Reviewville after 4 weeks on my diet and have partook in my first cheat meal of the carbohydrate variety. Ive had to travel a lot for work lately and i was good the entire time, so naturally when i got back i was dying and needed some rice. In the words of Mitch Hedberg, rice is great for when youre hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something. But i wanted something with my rice, like sushi.

So after deciding with my boo-thang on where to acquire such a delicacy because i didnt wanna waste a cheat meal on mediocre vittles, we decided on Arigato Sushi in Casselberry. Their website says Winter Park, but dont let anybody lie to you, its firmly within the city limits of Hassleberry i mean Casselberry, on SR-436 just south of Howell Branch. Ive been going to Arigato for 12-13 years, and its consistently been quite delicious. Its honestly pretty slept on, but its always been one of the best relatively affordable sushi spots in the Central Florida area.

As we waddled into the former Pizza Hut, i kid you not its an old Pizza Hut, windows, roof and all, its phenomenal, the server/host guy immediately sat us and provided us with menus. This server dude has been the same one ive had every time ive gone and he is phenomenal, he memorizes your order and nails it every time.
As we perused we started with edamame and seaweed salad, or as my wife calls it, “Ariel’s Spaghetti.” We then put in an order of sushi 5 rolls because when i have a cheat meal i dont f around. We ordered a Su***de Roll, Tango Lover Roll, Spicy Tuna Roll because thats how i judge all sushi spots, Philadelphia Roll, and Salmon Roll.

Apps came quite fast, wifey loved her steamed soy beans saturated in salt, she even licked the remaining salt off the plate, photo below. The seaweed salad here has always been phenomenal, its flavorful and has a bigger sesame punch than most, but still retaining its tangy flavors. Ariel probably dinglehoppered this up like a beast.

About 10 minutes later our rolls came, and good golly miss molly i forgot just how beautiful Arigato makes them. The Spicy Tuna Roll was as always, delicious- We got it without cucumber because cuke ruins spicy tuna and unlike most spicy tunas, this one is actually a little spicy. The Philadelphia Roll was huge, full of fillings, “thicc” as the youngins may call it these days. The Salmon Roll- Im not sure how or why, but the plain salmon and tuna rolls here are the absolute best, i think its because theyre rolled fat-ways instead of thin-ways and contains more protein than most, actually all of the rolls here are packed with fish. Combined with a little soy sauce and wasabi paste, heaven. The Tango Lover Roll was something id never ordered before- the textures were fantastic. The cream cheese and the sweet tender protein with the slight chew of the seaweed just worked. And it has some sauces on it, but not overloaded with them, you can still taste all of the ingredients individually. When sushi spots drown their expensive rolls in sauce is always disappointing, im paying you for fish not for spicy mayo. The Su***de Roll, absolutely outstanding. I wouldnt shwack myself over it but its filled with fish, topped with thiccc white tuna and drizzled with a sweet spicy sour kimchee sauce, unbelieveable from the flavors to the mouthfeel. The wasabi paste here is also worth noting- its sharp, spicy, and flavorful, then quickly dissipates. Its not like some of them that linger or are just horseradish heat. Ill list all of the rolls ingredients in the picture comments cause itd be a whole nother paragraph here and i know youre all probably like COME ON DUDE TL;DR ALREADY.

The wife scarfed it all down (photo below), she forgot how great Arigato is too and I cant believe im opening a secret honey hole to the masses, but even though theyve been around probably 15 years, they never seem to be busy.

TL;DR Version: Amazing sush in falsely-stated Winter Park, go destroy it.

5/30/24 - Well that was short lived, im back to my normal reviews of me ranting and raving about things my wife shovels ...
11/21/2024

5/30/24 - Well that was short lived, im back to my normal reviews of me ranting and raving about things my wife shovels in her mouth, although this one isnt one of them because she wasnt there.

After the intense public call to action i placed on my friend in my Daves review for being too busy playing with her dog to bring me to Chicken Fire for the first time, today we FINALLY WENT AND I WAS SO FREAKING EXCITED. I knew what i was getting into, kinda. I prepped myself, ate some carbs before i went, staged up a roll of toilet paper in the truck in case i had to bail out on the side of 417, had cooling wipes in my bathroom, I was ready. I start a strict 15 week diet tomorrow, and every great diet starts off with a great cleanse.

When you waddle inside, theres a line, even at 115pm when we got there. Its completely cashless which is intelligent and convenient, and you order from 2 little kiosks. As we waited there was a group of nozzle jockeys eating, their fire truck was taking up 6 spaces in the parking lot but whatever, when the hosedraggers eat somewhere you know its gonna be, well, fire. I did fear for their bungholes if they got called away on the wheee-oooo wagon before their stomachs had a chance to settle.

We ordered, i had to try the Munch Box which is a “mega” slider (a whole chicky sammie) and fries, and i also got a giant tender. The boxes come with soul sauce which is like a herby savory mayo sauce, really tasty, cole slaw, and pickles. As expected, the spice levels here are no joke and because i like spice but it doesnt like me, i made what i thought were tactful decisions and got my slider in “mild” (HOT) and the tender in “meek” (medium-”ish”), some extra soul sauce and some honey. Friend got the 2 tender box in meek.

They text you when your food is ready and you go up to the counter and retrieve it. We were special for some reason and they brought us ours. As we unboxed our presents, the aroma of spice and flavor emanated around my nostrils, similar to tear gas but in a nice way. I took a bite of the mild slider first, the CRUNCH of the chicken was unbelieveable, you get the crunch of the slaw and the pickles, and then immediately get stampeded in the back of the throat by spice, it just hangs there. But in an enjoyable, flavorful way. Now because i know my gallbladderless body, i moved on to the meek tender, and this, this is where its at. Delicious flavor, a nice bit of spice, incredible crunch. Dipped in the soul sauce which is incredible and drizzled with honey is absolutely outstanding. The chicken quality was superb and was super moist and tender. The fries were crinkle fries and while these are again typically ass, were done exceptionally by Chicken Fire, very crunchy and had a great seasoning on them. Man. So good.

They dont have fountain drinks, bottled only- Water, soda, and sweet tea. This would be my only complaint, that i cant get a refill when my throat is on fire.

I took the rest home and finished that sammich. Dipped in soul sauce and honey, the heat at the back of my throat was completely delightful to enjoy when i was in immediate proximity to a throne room. It was still crispy and incredible 30 minutes later, i was a happy man til the spice sent me into a coma from the histamine your body releases from spice, i was today years old when i found out im a weak ass bish.

Anyway, im still in complete terror as i can literally feel the spicy deliciousness work its way through my digestive system, and its totally worth it. Ill be back for more meek when my diet is over. Should be meak honestly, like weak.

I got to see the doggo too, and she was super sweet with a big ol toofy smile.

TL;DR Version: 9.3/10 delicious but dont go above mild unless youre trying to burn a second hole in your ass.

5/29/24 - Sorry this isnt one of those reviews where i rant and rave and try to make you blow air through your nose, im ...
11/21/2024

5/29/24 - Sorry this isnt one of those reviews where i rant and rave and try to make you blow air through your nose, im trying a semi serious review this time around. So ive been feeding at Island Fin Poke since they opened their original location on Tuskawilla in Winter Springs so it kind of surprised me that ive never written a review on it- Like i remember the soft opening, when it was brand new and poke wasnt really a big thing yet. In fact there was a point in time when i was there so often id see Mark all the time and im shocked he never asked me to pay rent or trespassed me for squatting.

Island Fin Poke Company is a locally-started and family-owned Hawaiian poke spot, similar to all of the others but a step above. If you dont know what poke is, the easiest way to describe it is a “sushi bowl” although thats not at all what it is. Its a bed of rice, piled with fresh fish mixed in a light dressing type sauce and sometimes topped with goodies. The mainland version is like raw fish Chipottle and you go down the assembly line making your bowl, except at Island Fin you dont get some chump college kid who looks a little high giving you half scoops of chicken like its coming out of his pocket like you do at Chipottle. It also doesnt grease your lower intestine up.

The other day, i was starving cause i hadnt had lunch or breakfast and it was about 345 so while the wife and i were out running errands i told her i wanted a snack, and i wanted poke. So i guess what i wanted was a late lunch.

We scooted in there and met with the delightful young lady who was sweet enough to handle my banter and BS, and we got to the food-making. I got my bowl with white rice heavily dusted in furikake rice seasoning and chose all three of my protein scoops to be tuna, cause tuna is the best. They have other options like salmon, spicy tuna, shrimp, octopus, even chicken for the scaredy cats. They used to have yellowtail and it was so good, BRING BACK YELLOWTAIL MARK. I mixed my tuna with their ponzu sauce cause i love the citrus tang in ponzu, and then added the OG marinated veggies, sweet onion, jalapeno, and a lil edamame. On top of my pile of marinated protein i added pickled cucumbers, ginger, seaweed, masago, and crispy garlic. I used to get my tuna mixed in the togarashi finishing sauce but now i just get it on the side. Their wasabi cream is also fire. My only “gripes” are that there could be a sweet soy or “eel sauce” option but i understand theyre probably trying to keep it as authentic as possible, and that they have that healthyish Stubborn Soda instead of Coke but thats ok because they have a plethora of canned Hawaiian drinks in the cooler.

My bowl was amazing as always- ingredients fresh and tasty, crunchy where supposed to be and not crunchy where not. For some reason i love their seaweed more than others, one time i walked in and asked for a bowl of it and they looked at me like i was dumb, so they gave me a triple-base portion and charged me for 3 bases. Amazing. A fresh healthy filling meal like this for $14 is pretty legit these days, no complaints. Some of the premium toppings cost a little extra, thats fine too!

My wife “wasnt hungry” so she got a dole whip and a bite of my tuna. They rotate their dole whip flavors weekly i believe, and this time around she got it swirled, half pineapple half vanilla, and she destroyed it as always. Its honestly one of the best things at any poke place because i think theyre one of the only spots that carry it. No pic of the decimation, i let wifey retain some dignity this time around.

All around, a great place to eat and tell your friends about- Theyve expanded all over the country now, are consistent across the board, and they seem to be thriving!!

TL;DR Version: Go see these people for some delicious raw fish in a bowl- They really are the Big Kahuna, IYKYK.

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Oviedo, FL
32765

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