08/29/2026
On the day God created the animals, when He was nearly done, He stepped back and admired His finest creation, the horse. He smiled to himself and said, āAs marvelous as it is, I can do better.ā Then He started fiddling with its ears. The horse already had short upright ears, so He started by erasing them altogether and that look made Him chuckle. He added long droopy ears and that made Him laugh again. āOh the humans will love all of these!ā
āBut that doesnāt fix the BIG problem. Most humans wonāt be able to keep horses because they are so large and grand.ā He then shrank the creature to the size of a dog. āMost humans will be able to keep a dog, but let it keep its diet vegetarian like that of a horse. It will still be strong enough to serve as a pack animal or pull a cart, but without the predatory drive.ā
āNow, for its personality, I shall make it so various that every human can find one they like! Some will be truly wild as Przewalskiās horse. Others will act wild but are really just feral, like Mustangs. Some will be laser focused on their jobs like Border Collies and cow ponies. Many will be as lovingly goofy as Golden Retrievers. Some will be gentle and kind as draft horses and Basset Hounds.ā
āAs if this wasnāt enough, Iāll make some have long hair like an Afghan Hound, and others have locks like a Poodle!ā
Then, Lucifer spoke up, āYouāve made this creature appealing to the dog and horse people. What about the cat lovers?ā God rolled his eyes and said, āVery well, Iāll give them great agility, and make them better climbers than dogs or horsesā¦ but no claws!!! Not on my finest creature! No, Iāll give them horns instead. I will make some of them aloof, but most of them will remain trainable.ā
āNow for the piĆØce de rĆ©sistance! The voice! Some will be as talkative as a Chihuahua with the vocal strength of horse! Others will be as quiet as an old gelding living out his days in peace. Oh! And one more thing just to make everyone happy. It shall give milk like a cow.ā He then admired His magnificent creation.
When, it came time for Adam to name all the animals, God presented this creature last. āAdam, think carefully, some of the last ones you gave pretty awful names.ā Adam said, āI am out of ideas! Why did you save the best for last?!ā God smiled and answered, āBecause I already know what it shall be called, and it is fitting for it to be the last name given out.ā
Adam sighed and tried to think. He turned to Michael and said, āHelp me out!ā Michael responded, āMan, I gave you my best idea when you needed help naming DOG.ā In desperation Adam turned to Gabriel with a pleading look. Gabriel answered, āJust call what it is! The Greatest Of All Time.ā Adam replied, āI canāt say all that, Iāll have to shorten it to G.O.A.T.ā God smiled and said, āIt is good.ā
