06/29/2026
Long, cathartic post time. Friday was a hard day.
Andrew and I got this beautiful, loving German Shepherd Lab mix pup when she was about 12 weeks old, less than a month after we got married in 2013.
This puppy grew into the most amazing dog anyone could ask for. She helped raise our children. She was there to comfort me when we lost our first child to an ectopic pregnancy. She was there for the birth of our first earth side child. She was there when we moved to this house. and then the birth of our second child... and then our third came on her 7th birthday. She helped teach them responsibility, caring for another living being.
She was always eager to give sneak attack kisses any time someone's face was in range. That tongue was longer than you think, and had great aim for getting you right in the mouth. I think she enjoyed the reaction she got out of us when she'd do that.
She was also very good at tricking people into thinking she hadn't been fed yet to get another scoop of food. She was also the clean up crew after the kids ate.
She NEVER had accidents in the house. From the time she potty trained as a puppy, this dog did everything she could to keep from having an accident inside.
Brandy was a very calm, laid back dog who never showed any aggression, unless she felt like her kids were in danger. She was the perfect family dog.
Over a year ago, she stopped making her way through our house to go to her food and water bowls. She no longer wanted to leave the living room and dining room areas because her footing had become bad and she would fall. When that happened we moved her food and water bowls over by her dog bed because of this.
About a month and a half- 2 months ago, she started declining more. She started to fall more. Sometimes she needed help to get back up. The dog who had never let food sit in her bowl for more than 5 minutes suddenly stopped finishing meals. Then it progressed to not touching breakfast at all until 5:30pm... Then it progressed to not eating at all in a day...
She started the morning of her 13th birthday out by trying to get up, falling, and then having an accident as she laid there. It was absolutely awful to watch.
Then she started having accidents inside the house more often. No warning that she needed to go.
I took her to the vet multiple times in the last month. They did bloodwork, which all came back surprisingly normal. They put her on pain medicine, and an appetite stimulant. The pain meds helped her be able to move around a little easier, but the appetite stimulant didn't seem to do anything for her. Then the next vet visit they did an abdominal ultrasound. Everything looked normal, except they did see a mass that they couldn't figure out what it was.
This past week, she started vomiting. She was also hardly eating, and went a couple days without eating anything beyond the bread that her meds were wrapped in.
On Wednesday, I called the vet's office again to ask if there was anything else we could give her to make her more comfortable... and to talk about if it was time to let her go. They prescribed some anti nausea meds... and scheduled an appointment for Friday afternoon. I don't think it really did much for her unfortunately.
That evening, I took the kids outside to take some pictures with her one last time. They gave her hugs and kisses... And in true Brandy form, gave kisses back.
Thursday, we picked out where we wanted to bury her on our property, and Andrew dug the hole. I chose to have her out by the fence around the orchard, where the chickens are.
Friday morning, she completely refused all of her meds. She had not hardly drank any water in a couple days. And she wasn't eating. She had an incident where her front and back right legs shot out to the side rigid, was breathing heavy, and had an accident. I laid a towel down and sat down in front of her and hugged her and cried, telling her it was okay. We had one of the grandmothers come stay with our children so we could take Brandy to the vet to be put to sleep. It was gut wrenching watching the kids stand on the patio sobbing as we pulled away with their best friend.
The vet had told us before hand that we could do this any way we felt more comfortable with... In the office, in the yard, or in our vehicle. Brandy hated going to the vet, so there was no way I was putting her through going in the office again. It was lightly raining, so we chose the vehicle.
Any time I took Brandy to the vet, I would have one of the middle seats in our van folded down and lay her dog bed in there for her to lay on. This time was no different. When we got about half way there, I reached back and held one of her paws. A couple minutes into holding her paw, she put her other paw on top of my hand. Normally on the way to the vet, she pants a lot and whines. This time, she slept on and off and was calm.
I laid down behind her and cuddled her once we arrived. The vet was running behind so we had about 40 minutes past our appointment time to spend with her, talking to her, petting her, hugging her that we weren't expecting to get. I'll cherish those last minutes forever.
When the vet and tech came out, she let out a couple soft growls as they approached the vehicle, which she never does unless she's in protective mode. Andrew told me on the way home he thinks she was trying to protect me from the strangers approaching us.
I got her to relax and lay her head down in the crook of my arm while they struggled to find a vein... Since she had hardly been drinking, she was dehydrated.
I continued to talk to her and tell her how much I love her and what a good girl she is. She passed quickly and peacefully wrapped in my arms. I bawled as I felt her go limp. I didn't think I was going to be able to breathe again.
They did a paw print impression for us in clay. It's part of a picture frame, so one side is her print and then you can put her picture on the other side.
Our middle child, our youngest son, had given her his favorite blanket to be buried with. We covered her in the blanket for the trip back home. The 32 minute drive back home was rough. Filled with silence, and then more uncontrollable sobbing and hyperventilating.
When we got home, Andrew pulled the van up to her grave. We let the kids come out and give her one last hug and kiss. We buried her on her bed, covered with Levi's favorite blanket, with her dog bones. Andrew started filling in the hole, and then without anything being said, our oldest child grabbed another shovel and started helping bury our fur baby. He shoveled for a couple minutes and then our middle child wanted to shovel. He stopped and gave the shovel to our youngest and she shoveled. They kept taking turns until the hole was filled. These kids were filling in their dog's grave while crying, stopping to come sit on my lap and hug me, and then going back to shovel some more. For me, this was a raw, but beautiful moment.
Our house is quiet. I keep thinking I hear her nails clicking on the floor ever so slightly. It feels so wrong, because no one has put Brandy out to go potty. I don't hear her snoring, or barking in her sleep. I keep feeling like she just needs let back inside from going potty... I have already opened the door and just stared out the door, wishing I would see her standing there again. The bay window was her area. Now there is just bare floor. And I absolutely hate it. My middle child must hate it too, because this evening he asked me if we could block off the window area because it's Brandy's area.
Our children are themselves for a while, and then break down crying because they miss Brandy.
This puppy has left a massive hole in our hearts. And it hurts so much.
Rest in peace, my sweet B.
5/28/13 - 6/26/26
