01/20/2026
THE HEART OF MY MOTHER.
I lost my mom in 2021. I went into a deep black hole and did not want to crawl out. I shut my business down, my kids and grandkids would have to literally come to my bedroom to see me. Or I would go out all night and drink! She lived with me and slept in a room next to me, but I was not in the room when she died, I was asleep. I felt like I failed her because she was alone when she left. Eventually my daughter and my Aunt (mom's sister and best friend) told me I needed to go back to work. My daughter not so nicely, she said she was gonna commit me. So I put in one application, hoping they would NOT call, but they did so I went back to work, after 60 days or more of just laying in my bed. I laughed and smiled then would go home right back to my bed! I was getting angry and easily set off. I was mad at myself and now my mom, even God. Because I would hear people say they saw signs after their loved ones died! Where was my signs, I wasn't even having a dream of my mom! My aunt called me everyday. She was really religious so I asked her why is God not allowing my mom to send me signs. She said she will when you really need it. For a year I set at her grave and nothing. I would still talk to her tho. Then a year and a half later my Aunt passed away. So that day I went to mom's grave to tell her to look for her baby sister. I was setting in the same place I always set on the ground right next to her. When I went to get up I got a sharp pain in my hand. When I lifted my hand it was a rock shaped just like a heart. Now to you that means nothing, to me it ment alot. When my kids were young every summer we would take them camping for a week. Every trip my mom had them looking for heart shaped rocks for her. Now I knew every inch of that grave, and never saw that rock and I put all the rocks on it! Everyone agreed that was my sign the one I longed for. After a while it was not heart shaped rocks. Everytime something went on and I was breaking down a random heart would appear. Of course I told people, but I started to believe they were only there because I looked for them. But the thing is I DID NOT look for them. So I said " OK momma, if this is you can u just send me a heart when I'm doing good and nothing bad is going on?" Still hearts appeared when I needed my momma! Until one day, a good day. I went in a gas station bathroom and when I closed the door I looked up and the entire door was hearts. Like in the wood grain. It started as one heart and just got bigger and bigger. Or I would take pictures, just random ones doing stuff I wish she could do with me and days later I would look and there's a heart. Or it snowed here, which never happens and so badly I wished she was here and well there's a heart. I had to stay at my job over night for a storm, which i am horrified of, and a piece of petrified wood that i had walked by thousands of times was a heart. Right in front of the front desk I worked at and never noticed! I know now those are my signs and I am not crazy! Does it ease the pain? No. Four years and it is like she just left. But I smile when I see those hearts. Sometimes I cry. If you have lost someone don't give up hope, they are here. This is my miracle and I don't expect anyone to believe it. But it happend again tonight and as usual I needed this heart. I am going to post some pictures and you come to your own conclusions. Because I can tell you exactly what was going on in each picture. But this is the heart of my mother! She is telling me she is still here.
When you get your sign, and you will. It will not make things better. It will not ease your pain. But you will know they are ok. You will know they hear you!!
