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Purple Possum Pickers, Klerksdorp (2026)

17/06/2026

Nando'sNando's Klerksdorp – June 2026 🦝

And so, my possums, neither the fiancée-possum nor I felt like making dinner on Youth Day. Not that either of us qualifies as youth anymore. Not by a long shot. Still, we decided to embrace the public holiday spirit and treat ourselves to some take-away.

While the fiancée-possum remained snug under the blankets, conducting important research on her cellphone (or at least that's what she claims), I volunteered as tribute, braved the cold, navigated the potholes, and made my way to Nando's on the N12.

Choices, choices...

I had my order firmly planned before arriving, but then I made the mistake of looking at all the glorious food photos. My brain promptly short-circuited and entered a state of culinary confusion.

Eventually, I settled on Chicken Strips with Rice (Lemon & Herb) for the fiancée-possum and Chicken Strips with Rice (Mild) for myself, along with a quarter chicken, a roll, and chips.

I can confidently report that the meal was delicious.

I can also confidently report that my stomach considered it a light snack and began requesting further negotiations approximately thirty minutes later.

The service was impeccable. From the friendly lady who took my order at the drive-through to the team member who handed over the food at the collection window, everyone was cheerful, professional, and efficient. They managed to get me out of there before I changed my mind and ordered half the menu.

Oupa Coetzee, your Nando's team in Klerksdorp deserves recognition. We'll certainly be back the next time the thought of cooking feels like entirely too much effort, or when we simply don't feel like creating unnecessary dishes for ourselves.

🦝 Possum Scoring System 🦝

Presentation: 🦝🦝🦝🦝 (4/5)
Exactly what you'd expect from Nando's. Fresh, neat, and appetising.

Value for Money: 🦝🦝🦝🦝 (4/5)
A slight deduction because they serve margarine with the rolls instead of butter. Some battles must be fought on principle.

Overall Impression: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 (5/5)
Tasty food and happy possums. The fiancée-possum raved about how tender the chicken was and smiled from ear to ear. I smiled too, although mine lasted only until my appetite decided it wasn't entirely finished with the evening.

26/05/2026

Mike's Kitchen Klerksdorp – May 2026 🦝

It was time to celebrate a huge victory for the fiancée-possum, so naturally we headed off to Mike's Kitchen Klerksdorp Mike’s Kitchen at Flamwood Walk to CELEBRATE properly.

Although winter had firmly settled in, we were seated outside and warmly greeted by the staff and patrons alike. We were shown to our table where Tshepo “Shap-Shap” took care of us for the evening.

Now the nickname “Shap-Shap” comes from the way he finishes his sentences. That, combined with genuinely friendly service, became his trademark for the evening.

The fiancée-possum knew exactly what she wanted and settled on the 200g fillet steak, medium to well done, with vegetables of the day. This consisted of green beans, potato, and sweet pumpkin. The pumpkin immediately earned her approval because, honestly, if it contains sugar or resembles dessert in any way, she is interested.

I, on the other hand, continued my lifelong battle against decision-making and eventually ordered the 300g rump steak (medium) with fries and onion rings. Naturally, I also ordered pepper sauce on the side because apparently my cholesterol and I enjoy living dangerously.

To accompany the meal, the fiancée-possum ordered her usual coffee while I remained loyal to Coca-Cola with enough lemon wedges to make the glass look medically concerning.

The food arrived surprisingly quickly, and Tshepo “Shap-Shap” appeared carrying plates of absolute deliciousness. The steaks were tasty and cooked properly, although I do feel the pepper sauce needed a little more pepper and a little less emotional support. The fiancée-possum also mentioned that her vegetables were not particularly hot. On a winter evening, one expects vegetables to arrive steaming like a pothole after the first rain.

Overall, the experience was genuinely enjoyable and we will definitely return. They even remembered my old nemesis: the toothpicks. Nothing ruins a lovely evening faster than unexpectedly skewering your gums like a budget kebab.

Well done to John and the team at Mike’s Kitchen for making the evening memorable.

🦝 Possum Scoring System 🦝

Atmosphere: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 (5/5)
Winter tried its best, but we left with warm stomachs and happy hearts.

Cutlery & Crockery: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 (5/5)
Those enormous steak knives deserve their own firearm licences. Serious carnivorous equipment.

Food Quality: 🦝🦝🦝 (3/5)
The steaks were solid, but the vegetables arrived a bit “cold-ish” and the pepper sauce lacked proper bite.

Service: 🦝🦝🦝🦝 (4/5)
Tshepo “Shap-Shap” gave excellent service. I did summon him once through another waitress and it took a while, but I suspect he was busy charming another table into leaving a good review.

Value for Money: 🦝🦝🦝🦝 (4/5)
Good portions, enjoyable food, and an evening worth repeating.

18/05/2026

Volcano Vapes Klerksdorp - May 2026 🦝

Volcano Vapes South Africa deserves a proper shoutout from the Purple Possum Pickers.

The fiancée-possum was peacefully puffing away one day when, without warning, her v**e decided it had fulfilled its earthly duties and simply v**ed no more. A tragic moment. A small memorial service was almost held in the car.

Dodging enough potholes to qualify for an off-road rally, we made our way to Flamwood Walk and popped into Volcano Vapes.

There we met Jacobus, who I assume is the manager, although honestly he handled the place with such confidence he could probably run the entire franchise from behind the counter.

Jacobus assisted us with striking professionalism, knew his products inside out, and guided the fiancée-possum towards the best option without sounding like a scripted salesman trying to earn commission on your emotional distress. A rare talent these days.

He also explained their points system, where every rand spent earns rewards points for customers. A smart little incentive that makes your wallet cry slightly less dramatically.

So, a proper high-possum-five to Jacobus and the team at Volcano Vapes Klerksdorp for stellar service, solid product knowledge, and an experience that was smoother than most people’s online dating profiles.

🦝 Possum Verdict: Excellent service, no nonsense, and one very relieved fiancée-possum. 🦝

04/05/2026

🦝 The possum has spoken…

My stomach is now making decisions on my behalf.
None of them are wise.

Before I end up eating something questionable from the back of the fridge…
Where are we going tonight?

Any decent Monday specials out there, or are we all just pretending toast is a meal again?

Send help.

18/04/2026

A High Five That’s Actually Meant - To***co City Klerksdorp.

Four years ago, I stopped smoking. Not dramatically, not heroically. Just one of those decisions you know you have to make, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Va**ng became the in-between. And like most people, I had to figure it out myself. What works, what doesn’t, what tastes like toothpaste, what doesn’t.

That’s where To***co City-Klerksdorp comes in.

I’ve gone back a few times now. Phoned ahead, popped in, asked questions. Always sorted. But this past Friday 17 April 2026 felt different enough to mention.

It was after 17:00. That quiet stretch where everyone’s already halfway into their weekend. I walked in, not expecting much more than a quick in-and-out.

Instead, I got someone who was fully there.

I don’t know her name. She’s VERY short. That’s the identifying feature. She’ll know.

No attitude. No rush. No “you should know this by now” energy. She explained what I needed in plain language, helped me choose properly, and did it in a way that felt… easy. Human.

And the thing is, you can feel when someone actually cares about doing their job well. It’s not loud. It’s not performative. It just shows.

Her energy was still there. Her patience was still there. On a Friday, after five.

That matters.

So this isn’t a big dramatic review. Just a real thank you. To her, and to To***co City Klerksdorp for having someone like that on your floor.

Because service like that doesn’t get forgotten.

17/04/2026

Holy Smokes Deli & Authentic BBQ – April 2026

I need to apologise for going quiet lately.

Quite a bit has been happening in Possum Paradise since our last review.

But the sun seems to be peeking through again… if you can see past the continuous rain clouds and the potholes. The potholes, unfortunately, are clearly here to stay. Let’s focus on something far more reliable.

E-A-T-I-N-G

So today, the fiancée-possum decided to go on a lunch date with friends… with me excluded. For now. More on that shortly.

They chose a spot we’ve visited before: Holy Smokes Deli & Authentic BBQ on Monica Avenue. As usual, she had to navigate the now-famous Klerksdorp potholes, scattered generously across the roads like oases in the Sahara.

When they arrived, drinks were ordered. Whiskey and soda for the friends, and plain soda water for her. No coffee. Suspicious behaviour… but we’ll allow it.

One friend ordered cheesy snails with garlic bread, which she described as truly delightful. Plenty of bread to mop up the rich, cheesy sauce. Always a good sign.

My fiancée-possum and the other friend went for chicken wings with chips. Both enjoyed the meal… but here comes the twist.

When I finished my meeting, I gave her a call. She casually mentioned she was still there. Naturally, I could not leave three women unattended in such a situation, so I joined them and bravely took care of the remaining wings wihout batting a possum eye-lid.

A personal victory.

For me, the wings were slightly on the bland side, but the sauce saved the day. Proper bite to it. That kind of sting that keeps you going back for another wing, even when you know better.

I ordered a Coca-Cola with lemon. My usual poison. It delivered exactly what it needed to.

According to the female-possum panel, the verdict was unanimous: lunch was a success. As a nice touch, the table was treated to complimentary shooters called the “Frikkie”,*see image which left their cheeks noticeably rosier than when they arrived. Scientific observation.

The restaurant itself is a great space. Strong atmosphere. You can easily imagine a big rugby game playing there with everyone fully invested. The service was excellent. Present, attentive, but not hovering over the table every two minutes asking if everything is “still okay.”

Holy Smokes, you’ve got a solid setup. Stick to it.

Also worth mentioning: there’s a barber on-site, as well as a car wash. So in one visit, you can feed your stomach, tidy your hair, and give your car a bit of dignity again. Efficient living.

Atmosphere: 🦝🦝🦝🦝
The seating is slightly uncomfortable… although, to be fair, so are our aging behinds. A cushion or two wouldn’t go unnoticed.

Cutlery & Crockery: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
No issues at all. Bonus points for toothpicks. Details matter.

Food Quality: 🦝🦝🦝🦝
Good portions, well prepared. Wings just needed a touch more seasoning.

Service: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Excellent. Attentive without being intrusive.

Value for Money: 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Very reasonable pricing. No damage done to the piggy bank… or the possum bank.

04/04/2026

Happy Easter to all the readers !!

01/04/2026

We’ve made a big decision.

From today, Purple Possum Pickers will no longer review restaurants.

Which means for you:
❌ No more honest food reviews
❌ No more calling out overpriced mediocrity
❌ No more 🦝 ratings you can actually trust

Our next posts will look very different.

—

…relax.

We’re not going anywhere.

You’re still getting the full breakdown:
Atmosphere. 🦝
Cutlery & Crockery. 🦝🦝
Food Quality. 🦝🦝🦝
Service. 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Value for Money. 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝

And YES, THE TOOTHPICKS. 🦝😏

And yes… we’re still judging everything.

Happy April Fools 🦝

30/03/2026

🏍 TICKETS ARE LIVE.

Veldskoen Rally 2026. Klerksdorp Dam. 24–27 September.

Motorbikes only.
6,000 riders.
One dam.
One weekend.

Your Access Pass includes automatic entry into the live draw for the QJ SRT 900.

Winner announced Saturday night on the Main Stage.

Limited venue space. First edition. When it is full, it is full.

🎟 Get your ticket now - Info in comments.

23/03/2026

Funky Monkey – Orkney

Today the possums headed off to Funky Monkey in Orkney. This was our third or fourth trip as we sped down the R30 towards Orkney.

Funky Monkey is a well-known hangout in Orkney with live bands and seriously good food. Admittedly the fiancée-possum enjoys the music a bit more than I do… but I still enjoy it too. My main driving force, however, is the food.

I just love food.

My stomach and waistline can both attest to that.

When we arrived we were seated in the restaurant and the manager, Lindie, popped in to say hello and took our drinks order. For a change I ordered a Savannah, while the fiancée-possum stuck to her guns and ordered her usual cappuccino.

Our waitress was friendly and checked in a few times to make sure everything was in order and that we were enjoying our meal.

Today I was famished.

(But really… when am I not?)

The fiancée-possum ordered crumbed mushrooms, I ordered the nachos (which could have done with a bit more bite), and we shared the plankie steak.

Now the plankie steak deserves special mention.

It was so incredibly tender that you hardly needed utensils to cut it. I’m convinced that even a possum with dentures could eat that steak without any trouble.

The mushrooms were served with a tangy mayo sauce, which was absolutely delicious. The nachos, as mentioned earlier, could have used a bit more zing. I suppose it’s difficult for restaurants to judge what is hot and what is not hot for every guest.

But despite that… I cleaned my plate and didn’t complain too loudly.

Just as we were about to leave, the owner Vlam and his fiancée arrived and greeted us, inviting us to join them at the pub afterwards.

I must admit, I felt quite honoured.

After chatting with Vlam for a while, I realised something important: this man has a heart of gold and seems to see the good in people. Qualities that sadly feel a bit rare these days.

Funky Monkey, you outdid yourself tonight.

And after this meal… you owe me a new belt.

🦝 Purple Possum Pickers Score

Atmosphere
🦝🦝🦝🦝
A lively evening with great energy. Being able to hear the live music from the pool hall while sitting in the restaurant was a nice bonus.

Cutlery & Crockery
🦝🦝🦝🦝
Everything was perfectly fine… until I noticed my forever missing friend — the toothpick.

Food Quality
🦝🦝🦝🦝
Excellent preparation overall. The nachos just needed a bit more bite, so one possum had to wander off there.

Service
🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Professional, friendly, and attentive. A big high-five to Lindie. And the chef also needs a high-five for the food preparation.

Value for Money
🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Excellent value. Looking at the menu prices makes this a very affordable night out.

⭐ Final Verdict
Good food, good people, and a steak so tender even a possum with dentures would approve.

Purple Possum Pickers

17/06/2026

26/05/2026

18/05/2026

04/05/2026

18/04/2026

17/04/2026

04/04/2026

01/04/2026

30/03/2026

23/03/2026

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