06/08/2026
Finding Light in Their Legacy
I’ve written several times about this time of the year being a special one for my family. For 45 years, my father and sister celebrated their birthdays together. With their birthdays two days apart, it was natural that we would get together to celebrate each year. Over the span of just a little more than 13 months, we lost them both, a great impact to our small family of four. My mother and I were very fortunate to have the support of our close-knit family business as well as family and friends, but the grieving process takes its own path for every individual in every situation.
Saturday, on what would have been Aoife’s birthday, I received a note from a great friend of hers, remembering happy moments with her and offering support and condolences. He recommended a podcast that had helped him in his own loss, one that I had not come across before: “All There Is with Anderson Cooper,” which explores Cooper’s grief in losing his mother and how it brought back the pain of the death of his father and brother years earlier. He has subsequently interviewed many other leading lights and guests about their own personal stories of loss. While listening to the first two episodes, I found myself in tears several times, touched by shared experiences and poignant learnings. I have picked a few more to listen to, and I would say if you have lost someone close or know someone who has, I hope this podcast may help you to heal.
When my father passed away, I realized I was now part of a club of those who have lost someone close, a club we almost all will be part of, and few of us are prepared to join. Both my sister and father went too soon. They each left legacies that were uniquely their own. My own personal experience with grief was certainly made easier by leaning into their legacies and asking others for help to live them out. However, the process of grieving and healing is a journey, and such a uniquely human experience. As this topic is so personal, perhaps it’s one we don’t talk about enough, keeping our pain and our process to ourselves, which is why I was so impressed with Anderson deciding to make it the topic of his podcast.
For me, there are a few learnings. When we lost my father, a great friend told me, “The depth of our love is the depth of our pain,” and I have found that to certainly be the case. I have also found that the more open we are to that pain, the more we accept and reflect on it, the more a source of power, belief and love that it becomes. I love my sister and my father more today than I ever have, and I will yet more tomorrow, as with each day I understand them better and find their own lives a greater source of inspiration. I walk in their shoes each day, and I find in the comments of others or my own thoughts what would have been their sage advice. It’s been nine years since we had a Lyons family celebration together in August, and as we move toward a decade, I’ve decided this year to go deeper into understand grief and think about how I can help others the way Aoife would have, and communicate the way my father would have, because this is a club we will all be part of someday — however, it is also one we can prepare ourselves to join.