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Meat Pie Audit, Bendigo (2026)

22/07/2026

Disclaimer: This audit has been sitting in the hotbox since last October.

Dropped into one of my local favourites, George’s Bakehouse Kennington. I’m always keen to try their Pie of the Month, and this month’s Asian Chilli Beef had me as excited as a volunteer with a clipboard. It also got me thinking of my larrikin uncle’s third marriage. A solid Aussie classic that somehow ended up with a spicy Asian twist. Unlike my uncle, I reckon this one’s a keeper.

Pastry: Thicc. Definitely a touch undercooked, but in its defence I was buying pies at breakfast time. It’s hard to expect pastry perfection before most people have had their first coffee.The lid was bloody good. It had a delicate flake and was topped with a sprinkling of sesame seeds and just enough dried chilli to let you know this wasn’t your average meat bag.

Filling: Asia’s a big place, but I reckon these flavours were leaning heavily towards Thailand. The gravy was rich, glossy and absolutely packed with flavour. Sweet to start, savoury through the middle, before the chilli quietly crept in from behind. The chilli wasn’t out to punish you, it just hung around long enough to remind you it was there, like that one bloke at the pub who keeps saying, “Righto, I’m off,” before ordering another pig’s ear.

Temperature: Just right. It had all the warmth of a humid night in Phuket, without the discomfort.

Price: $7.90

Overall: George’s has taken an Aussie icon, sent it on a gap year through Thailand, and somehow it came back better.

Score: 8/10

02/10/2025

Garland’s Bakery, Kangaroo Flat.

A suburb that boldly answers the question, “What if we named a town after roadkill?” It’s neither flat nor crawling with kangaroos, but it does boast a Bunnings that moonlights as both a cultural hub and a main tourist attraction. Unfortunately the local footy team couldn’t win a raffle, but luckily for the diehard supporters Garland’s Bakery keeps spirits (and cholesterol) high.

Pastry: Almost smug; tall, handsome, and deep enough to suggest substance, yet still graciously portable in one hand. The lid was golden, flaky, and sprinkled with a proud dusting of pepper granules that made it look like it had been seasoned by someone who both cared and had opposable thumbs.

Filing: The gravy found that rare middle ground, sturdy enough to cling, but not so thick could grout a bathroom with it. A couple of tender steak pieces bobbed about, giving the sense the cow had signed off on the arrangement without complaint. The pepper was a sly poke in the ribs, playful rather than punitive, but not so much that you start drafting your will mid-bite.

Temperature: Squarely in that Goldilocks zone: hot enough to feel fresh, but not so volcanic that you’d need skin grafts on your upper palate.

Price: $6.50

Overall: A pie of stature. A pie of substance. And frankly, a pie that’d look you dead in the eye and say, “Go on, mate, you won’t regret it.”

Score: 8/10

11/07/2025

Gaffney’s Bakery, Heathcote

Beef and Shiraz Pie

Heathcote is known for its bold Shiraz, charming country vibes, and apparently, pies that deserve their own public holiday.

Pastry: Promising start. The base was solid — like the foundations of a government promise… mostly there, but a little underdone where it counts. To be fair, I did show up early, probably before the pie had time to contemplate its full potential in the oven. A dusting of pepper on the lid added a touch of class, like a pie wearing a bowler hat.

Filling: At first, “chunky steak” felt like a bold lie. Turns out, the beef was just playing elite-level hide and seek. When it finally appeared, it was tender, juicy, and cooked like it had something to prove. No dryness, no regrets — just stealthy, delicious chunks of cow doing God’s work. The gravy? Less a sauce, more a full-bodied experience. Made with local Heathcote Shiraz, the kind that slaps you lovingly with bold plum, black pepper, and a whisper of “don’t make any big decisions after this”. Seasoned like it was studied under a French grandmother, it clung to the beef like it had secrets.

Temperature: Hot enough to keep things interesting, but not hot enough to cause legal action. Nailed it.

Price: $7.50 — rawdogged it, no sauce. Worth every unsauced cent.

Overall: Gaffney’s Bakery is the crown jewel of Heathcote — if the crown were made of buttery pastry and filled with slow-cooked beef and wine. Honestly, if I could pour this pie into a glass and sip it by the fire, I would. Bloody delicious, and slightly fancy for something inside a pastry.

Score: 9/10

24/06/2025

Rolling into North End Bakehouse late in the afternoon, I didn’t expect much to be left in the hotbox—but I figured I’d roll the dice. My dreams of pastry glory were fading fast, but then, through the fluorescent haze, I spotted it. A golden dome glistening like a $2 coin in a Centrelink carpark. It was calling to me. Or possibly judging me. Hard to say.

Named after the true Pie Minister - Marty Godfrey - this creation is less baked good, more an edible tribute. A lamb souvlaki pie that dares to ask: “What if your Friday night kebab put on a suit and ran for local parliament?”

Marty’s Lamb Souvlaki

Pastry: Flaky, golden and confident. The kind of crust that knows it’s better than you. The lid was dusted with seasoning like it had just returned from Santorini with stories it couldn’t legally share.

Filling: Generous. It Chunks of lamb so tender I briefly considered apologising for eating them. Gently seasoned—maybe a little too gently. Like it was worried it might offend someone. The thick sauce was doing its best impression of a Greek holiday. Garlic, herbs, onion, and some kind of tangy zing (lemon? yoghurt? divine intervention?). Basically, it came together like the modern day Greek Gods, Kouta and Christou!

Temperature: Bang on. Sat out the front and smashed it like it owed me money.

Price: $7.80. Less than a pint, and twice as likely to restore your faith in humanity.

Overall: Would I recommend it? Yes. Emphatically. But not before I’ve stockpiled a few in case word gets out. A bit more signature souva seasoning wouldn’t hurt, but even as is, it’s dangerously close to being classified as a cultural experience. North End Bakehouse has form, and if this is the benchmark, I’m already halfway through planning my next visit.

One question lingered: why doesn’t the so-called Royal Pieness, Pyney, have a pie named in his honour?

Score: 8/10

Disclaimer: If the pie looks underfilled in the photos, that’s on me. My jaw operates with the subtlety of a circular saw.

11/06/2025

Gundagai Bakery - Pepper (mi)Steak

Nearly four years ago to the day, while annihilating a pie at the now-defunct Gundy Pie Cafe (gone too soon), the Meat Pie Audit was born. What started as a p**s stop in Gundagai and a casual lunchtime critique between mates quickly escalated into a full-blown mission: to identify, catalogue, and rank our encounters in the ongoing hunt for the perfect meat bag.

Pastry: They say don’t judge a book by its cover — turns out pies are the same. Looked solid, but collapsed faster than a Peter Dutton election campaign. Flaky in all the wrong ways.

Filling: The ‘steak’ was more of a rumour than an ingredient. The promised pepper flavour was harder to find than the Beaumont children. With all the flavour of wet cardboard, eating it felt less like lunch and more like punishment for crimes I don’t remember committing.

Temperature: The shining light in a s**t show. Luckily, considering my hands were covered in the contents.

Price: $5.80

Overall: After hours of soul-searching via the Hume, I pulled into town with the enthusiasm of a clipboard-wielding volunteer — hungry, hopeful, and dangerously optimistic. I was ready to wrap my laughing gear around a pie. Instead, I was served heartbreak in pastry form. One can only hope the local tourist attraction isn’t hiding one of these horrors in his tucker box.
Back on the road, with Shania Twain playing through the static, I reflected on the experience. Let’s just say: that don’t impress me much.

Score: 2/10

09/07/2024

Hope Bakery - Sovereign Hill

If you were educated in Victoria, there’s every chance you’ve visited Sovereign Hill on an excursion. According to their website, the open-aired museum is one of Victoria’s premier tourist attractions…

Plain Beef

Pastry: One of the more unconventional forms of collaboration. The sides were thick af, the bottom was soft and the lid was more crispy than it was flakey. It was as moody as a lovesick teenager.

Filling: The pie was as full as Charlie Bucket’s grandparent’s bed. Unfortunately, it was a case of quantity over quality. Suffering from an obvious shortage of seasoning in the colony, the pie was as bland as dry weetbix. No wonder there was a rebellion.

Temperature: So hot it stripped the enamel from my chompers. The bite and slurp technique is advised.

Price: Everything at Sovereign Hill is frozen in time, apart from the prices… $6.80.

Overall: You could compare this meat bag to Michael Jordan… but during his foray into baseball. It was easy to eat, but easier to forget. The only positive was it warmed me up on a typical Ballarat day.

Score: 2/10

29/01/2024

Meat(less) Pie Monday

In 2022, the meat pie world was rocked with revelations that divided the most purist of pie heads. The Baking Association of Australia awarded Rolling Pin Pies and Cakes Mushroom and Truffle pie the top gong! Stone the flaming crows, a meat-free pie took the illustrious title of Australia’s best.

In a move that the most devoted of Dipieples may describe as blasphemous, the team snuck in for an audit. We must admit, it didn’t sit well with us, we knew we were testing friendships and boundaries. I reckon if mum found out we would’ve got the “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” treatment.

Creamy Mushroom and Truffle

Pastry: Soft and buttery without being brittle. The golden dome was a nice size and shape. The poppy seeds sprinkled on the top were a bit cute, just check ya fangs post demolition.

Filling: To be honest, I haven’t eaten mushies since that lunatic in Leongatha poisoned her in-laws. The pie was packed with succulent mushrooms, the earthy truffle flavours were prominent without tasting like dirt. The herb infused creamy sauce was thick and incredibly rich, you would have a very sore tum tum if you downed two.

Temperature: So hot I developed a permanent lisp! Should’ve been patient and let it breathe on the way home. But, there was no time for that when you’re having a sneaky post supermarket snack… ya gotta eat it on the run and dispose of the evidence.

Price: A hefty $8.40, but it’s no secret that truffles hit ya hard in the sky rocket.

Overall: This was more Heisenberg than Walter White on the flavour and quality scale. Toed the line of vegetarian nirvana, for a moment I even considered turning to vegetarianism, but then I realised I wouldn’t eat meat.

Score: 8.5/10
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23/01/2024

Barwon Heads was aptly labelled the ‘village by the sea’, until it was struck by what is colloquially known as the ‘SeaChange effect’. You’ll find sunbakers on the main drag, Hitchcock Avenue. The busy street is a non-chafe (depending on your choice of swimwear) distance stroll from the sandy banks of the Barwon River.

The Mexican 🇲🇽

Pastry: The thinner pastry allowed for a deeper bowl which was capped off beautifully with a flaky lid! The lean base had me as nervous as a Millennial with a mortgage, but my trepidations were quickly dismissed as there was zero sag, this meat bag was oozing in structural confidence.

Filling: Packed with locally sourced mince from Benno's Meating Place across the road, no gristly surprises just quality! The gravy was thick and flavoursome with a generous amount of onions, beans and jalapeños floating about. Sandwiched between the filling and the lid was a dollop of salsa and cheese, which provided my tastebuds with a pleasantly surprising uppercut. As a whole package it’s on the mild side of spicy but the tingle and flavour lingered long enough to enjoy, like a fart in the shower.

Temperature: Straight from the hotbox, I rolled outside to dine alfresco and it was perfect for a scoff!

Price: $7.50

Overall: Ripping pie to kick off season 2024, polar opposite to a Barry Crocker (fun fact: Baz was born in Barwon Heads). The flavours were well balanced and it was packed with quality ingredients. These pies are definitely worth the battle for a park or the potential chafe after a walk in ya Billabong shin slappers.

Score: 9/10
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31/08/2023

Since the inception of Meat Pie Audit our DM has been heavily slid into by devoted dipieples suggesting bakeries. A bakery that has popped up more times than Mason Cox on the mark has been The Hot & Crusty Country Bakery… so we ripped the band-aid off and headed for Castlemaine. As we strolled in the first thing we noticed was along with your pastry parcels and bakery treats you could also buy a bag of kindling… yes, the small sticks used for lighting a twiggy.

Steak and Steph Curry

Pastry: Instead of Hot and Crusty it could be called Thick and Sturdy. The square foundations filled me with confidence and kept my hands clean. Although the base was solid AF there was still a nice flake on top. If the crew at Hot and Crusty were in the ship building business in the 1900s then James Cameron’s Titanic would be a s**t boring movie.

Filling: We were catfished by the mince. They promised curry and s**t a brick did they deliver. This pie makes a na**lm attack seem like a rainy day. If you leaked this on ya bench you would definitely need some Jif and elbow grease to scrub away the yellow tinge. All in all, it was meaty, no weird uninvited gristly guests and packed full of curry.

Temperature: Great, perfect for a scoff.

Price: $5.20

Overall: It’s no secret that the team at MPA aren’t the biggest fans of square pies, but this seemed to have bucked the trend. All elements played their role and contributed resulting in a bloody decent pie. Public service announcement; if you’re wearing a white shirt and you’re a novice pie wrangler we suggest an art smock and gloves, this curry is potent.

Score: 8.5
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07/08/2023

In a valley at the foot of Mount Alexander/Leanganook lies the beautiful community of Harcourt. The area is renowned for its crisp apples, artisan cider, granitic soiled wineries and some pretty right-off mountain bike tracks.

Chunky Beef

Pastry: A tale of two buttery delicious halves. Debagging this bad boy, I quickly noticed it was on the p**s. It somewhat resembled the leaning tower of Pi(e)sa. As I guided the meat bag towards my salivating gob, I could feel an undeniable sag in the base. I proceeded with caution as I was worried I would slip a digit and end up painting the footpath. Then came the lid…that damn lid! The layers of unrivalled golden buttery pastry spun me into a general delirium! I would do some bad s**t to have that back in my mouth. I need a bucket and a mop just thinking about it.

Filling: Not dissimilar to Harcourt’s local footy club, this pie is bursting at the seams with quality ingredients. The succulent beef fell apart like the future of the Commonwealth Games. I found a few cheeky veggies floating around in the flavoursome gravy and the occasional punch of herbs was refreshing. This was the real deal. It was bloody nice.

Temperature: Perfect.

Price: $10 bucks with a tub of flavoursome relish.

Overall: Once a year, in the fertile Harcourt Valley, thousands of people gather for the Applefest. With quality meat bags like this being produced in Harcourt, the team at MPA are tipping it won’t be long until there’s a Piefest on the calendar. There’s no doubt many of our dipieples will question the premium price tag, but this is a classic case of ya pay for what ya get. You can taste the passion in this pie and it’s packed with quality ingredients. Get off the Calder, head into and treat yourself!

Score: 9/10
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Meat Pie Audit

22/07/2026

02/10/2025

11/07/2025

24/06/2025

11/06/2025

09/07/2024

29/01/2024

23/01/2024

31/08/2023

07/08/2023

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