16/04/2026
Ah yes, the greatest disguise in Wild West history.
Left: John Marston, wanted outlaw, face of Red Dead Redemption, scars from a wolf attack, government problem number one.
Right: "Jim Milton," totally different guy, never seen him before in my life, definitely not wanted, please ignore the identical face, haircut, and the fact that he scowls at the exact same angle.
This is John’s master plan for hiding from the Pinkertons. Step 1: grow the beard 0.2 inches longer. Step 2: change one letter in your first name and pick a last name that sounds like you made it up on the spot at the general store. Step 3: hope the FBI hasn’t invented facial recognition yet because it’s 1907.
The audacity is incredible. My man changed his name and called it a day. No hat, no glasses, no fake mustache from the fence in Saint Denis. Just raw confidence and the power of denial. And you know what? It worked for like three whole missions.
If identity theft was a person, it would be "Jim Milton." Brother, you are not fooling anyone except maybe Uncle, and he’s blind in one eye. 🤠🇺🇸