04/20/2026
Three years ago I was wearing a full face of makeup every day. I had my nails polished almost all the time. I sat in a little office with no windows. I pressed myself into a role that who I am could have never fit into.
But I was determined. I thought I knew what I needed. My life was idealized and adopted, and definitely not created or inspired.
I was pushing against people, opinions, expectations and values that just did not make sense with my own.
Today, my life is harder. That’s so true. Flower farming is real farming and anyone who’s worked with me can attest that it’s not cute and not easy. (And try having a full time job on top of it!)
But being myself is easier.
The work I do here pushes me forward, instead of into an idea that isn’t mine. I ask myself all the time - What am *I* trying for, though? And why?
I’m trying for truth. Because that’s what’s in rhythm with life.
Meanwhile that all still falls flat if I’m alone in it. Because I’m meant for connection with more than just myself.
The people who join me in this fulfilling journey of flower farming, regeneration, and community - they make my world go round.
So often during this time of expansion (hello 4x the plot!) I’m finding myself worn down and convinced I can’t do one more task on my infinitely expanding to-do list.
But without fail, one of the incredible people I surround myself with shows up, says the perfect thing at the perfect moment, and all of a sudden I can. And I want to. And I will. Again. And again.
I say it all the time - I’m a solo farmer but I’m sure not in this alone.
The hardest part is the weight of all the learning, decision-making, management and pivoting.
But I have friends. Incredible, loving, enthusiastic and generous friends. I need them, I love them, and I couldn’t do this without them.
I remember this often, because each one of them shows up for me, often. For me, and for all of this. With me - dirt face bare nail, open heart me.
Just having a moment of gratitude and reflection for who I was, who I am, and who has been and has stayed beside me all this way.
It’s all truly so, so beautiful.
Thanks for being here with me. 🩷