10/25/2026
Sunday 25 October 2026
30th Sunday in Ordinary Time.
Exodus 22.20-26, 1Thessalonians 1.5-10, Matthew 22.34-40
*LOVE IS DIFFICULT!*
Love is difficult. Let us look at these scenarios from real life experience; the first scenario; a young lady had to marry a man she never loved because her mother whom she loved told her that if she refused to marry the man, she would kill herself. In order to save her mother whom she loved and whom she believed loved her too, she married a man she never loved. Now, she lives with a man she does not love out of love for her Mom whom she loves and believes she loves her too. Do you think her Mom really loves her? The Mom might not have acted out of any selfish interest, she might just be acting as a loving mother who knows what is the best for her daughter, some Moms are like that. Yes! Even dads!
Second scenarios; after celebrating the wedding of what he considered one of the best loving couples ever, a priest was surprised to see this couple one year later in his office swearing that they would never live together, the man said the woman was a witch, the woman said the man was a devil. The priest remembered how sweet and full of love this couple was on the wedding day and wondered what converted them into witch and devil under one year. Even after listening to their stories, he could not see anything serious, yet, their love had finished, both of them were convinced that there was no more love remaining. What do you think about these? Is it love at play or what?
Now, these were about mother and child, husband and wife, these are where love should be so easy, simple and straightforward, yet, in many cases, it is complicated. Love is not as easy as it sounds. Why is love difficult? When Jesus was asked which was the greatest of the commandments, He said it was love. Jesus always answered questions in a deeper way; in the ten commandments, there was none that says ālove Godā. It seems actually that the ten commandments are just ten ways of loving God and neighbor. It equally means that love goes with commandments. We often talk about unconditional love, but, is there actually unconditional love? I think that unconditional love is where and when people choose to still love in spite of the conditions. What makes Godās love unconditional is that even before the conditions were given, even before we understand the conditions and even when we go against the conditions, God had loved and still loves us. But, do we do the same, can we?
Some parents even have conditions for loving babies inside the womb which if they were not met could lead them to terminating those babies. God wanted to tell the Israelites to love Him as He loved them, instead of simply saying to them, āI love you, love me backā, He gave them ten commandments and even told Moses to write them on stone tablet. It seems that God actually knew that love is difficult. One of the things that makes love difficult is that we often think that love is simple. A woman was complaining bitterly that the husband hardly buys new clothes for her except during festive periods, the priest invited the man to find out why, but when he saw how badly the man was dressed, he changed the questions. He discovered that the man had not bought himself a cloth in three years but had bought for the wife three times within a year. So, for the man, he had shown too much love and for the woman, he had not shown enough, three clothes in a year is of course not that much for some people.
Many of us fail to understand that we need to learn how to love not just God and our neighbors, but ourselves. A man who spends most of his money on alcohol instead of good clothings for example, might prefer to buy you more alcohol than clothes. There are a lot of people who have destroyed themselves while thinking they were loving themselves. There are lots of parents who have destroyed their children while thinking they were loving their children. There are lots of husbands who have destroyed their wives while thinking they were loving them. A lot of people destroy their friends while telling them, āyou are the love of my life!ā I am not talking about those whose intentions were full of hatred and wickedness from the onset, no, I am talking about those who really want to and mean to love.
A man refused that his wife should do any work because, out of love, he did not want her to suffer, he provided everything for her and extra. He died within few years of their marriage, the wife knew nothing about his business or any other business. In order to survive with her two children, she passed through hell after the husband died, all because her husband created a āfalseā heaven for her while he was alive. Now, she is regretting the love the man showed her, she now sees it as spoiling.
Love is a serious thing; love is responsibility, love is a duty, love requires training, love requires discipline, it requires wisdom and depth, love is not shallow. Those who truly love themselves at a deeper and authentic level find it easier to love others because it takes a lot even to love and accept ourselves. Many people today are not happy with themselves; I saw a girl deny her mother for being black and she claimed that she herself was white unlike her mother. This is because she lived in a society that made her look useless because of her true colour. Since she was not able to deal with the bullies, she resorted to radical and foolish self-denial. She is not alone, we change our colours, names, genders, features, etc. and even after surgeries upon surgeries, some people are still not happy with what they see in the mirror, have you ever wondered why some of us are addicted to mirror, who are we looking at so many times in every single day?
Many, if not all of us have denied something about ourselves one time or the other, I know someone who kept denying his town simply because he felt he was too good to be from such a town, I know some of the things I have denied about myself. If it is difficult for us to often love an accept ourselves, why do we often think it is so easy to love and accept others, to love and accept other strangers, other races, other tribes, other religions, other peopleās widows and orphans? Sometimes, the things we love about ourselves are from our real selves. Because we are far from our core selves, we resort to loving our colours, religions, tribes, races, nations, cultures, etc in order to escape from our true selves and then bully others. Those who love their true selves find it difficult to hate others, this is because true love comes from a place of depths. Hatred comes from a shallow and narrow places.
God gave Israelites some practical lessons of love in the first reading; do not oppress the orphans, widows, and strangers, if they cry to me, I will hear from heaven. Godās love is more to those who are weaker and more gullible. Great societies are known for their attitudes towards the weak. Bad societies are known for the high handedness of their leaders and elites. The strong and the rich oppress the weak and the poor masses, the bigger your car and mansion, the bigger your respect, and there is total disregard for the less privileged. In great societies, the bigger your power and status, the more you are expected to serve. St. Paul showed this as a Christian way of life in his praises for the Thessalonians who followed the examples of the Apostles who brought them gospel. According to Paul, it was their way of life that became an instruction for the people, they preached not only with their words but with their deeds. In failed societies, the law protects the leaders from all kinds of corruption and oppresses the weak. The leaders can steal, exploit, forge, manipulate and go free while the poor and weak get killed for minor offenses. Godās example lets us know that this is very ungodly for God is always on the side of the weak and oppressed. We should be on Godās side if we really call ourselves Christians. However, self love and ego is very powerful and people will do everything to justify whatever serves their ego, that is what makes love difficult for all of us.
Love is difficult but not impossible, and like every other difficult things, what it requires is practice, learning, growing, progressing, etc. The process of learning, practice and growth involves change, the more ready we are to change, the easier it becomes to learn, to learn to love, accept and cherish ourselves, to love, accept and cherish others; races, color, tribes, religions, widows, orphans, strangers, etc. Just like in every other difficult things, it will be easier for some people and more difficult for some people, but like experience shows, learning faster does not always depend on aptitude but also on attitude, dispositions, interest, willingness, etc. May the holy Spirit teach us to love, to love better and make the world a lovely and sweet place God intends it to be through Christ our Lord. Amen.
A CHRISTIAN IS NOT AN ORDINARY PERSON
