14/10/2026
Sometimes the conversations in the shop go a little deeper than fruit and vegetables.
Last week, I found myself having a conversation about social conditioning, particularly the messages women can grow up hearing about what they can and cannot do, what they should be, and whether they are ever quite enough.
Of course, these messages aren't exclusive to women. It just happened that this particular conversation was about women.
And it got me thinking about how much of this starts very early in life.
We pick up ideas from family, school, society, relationships and the people around us. Over the years, some of those ideas can become so familiar that we stop questioning where they came from.
We question ourselves, rather than questioning the things we were taught to believe.
And those beliefs ( limiting beliefs) can have a much bigger impact on our everyday actions than we realise. Sometimes, they lead us to develop behaviours that don't actually serve us.
For a very long time, I never really felt that I was enough.
Whatever I did, there was always something else I could be doing. Something else I could improve. Something else I should achieve.
And if I was resting, I often felt as though I should be doing something productive instead.
So I worked more. Did more. Took on more.
For years, resting wasn't really an option for me.
Not because there was always something urgent that needed doing, but because there was always something else I could be doing.
Another job. Another thing to organise. Something to improve. Something to learn. Something to achieve.
I think I treated rest as something I had to earn.
I could rest once everything was done.
The problem with that is that everything is never really done.
There is always another job waiting, another goal, another thing to improve. Another reason to tell yourself, “I'll slow down tomorrow.”
And tomorrow never comes.
Looking back, I wonder how much of that came from the idea that being valuable means being useful. That being enough means constantly doing more. That if you're capable of doing something, you always should.
Perhaps somewhere along the way, I stopped knowing the difference between wanting to do more and feeling that I have to do more.
I'm still working on that.
I'm getting better at recognising when I don't need to push a little harder, solve one more thing or fill every quiet moment with something useful.
I'm learning to rest without feeling guilty about it. To have a quiet day without needing to fill it. To sit down without immediately looking for the next thing I can get done.
I'm learning that I don't have to be exhausted before I'm allowed to stop.
That resting isn't laziness.
That doing nothing for a while doesn't mean I'm falling behind.
And perhaps most importantly, that my value doesn't depend on how much I do.
Not every conversation in the shop is about fruits, veggies or what's for dinner. 🌿
Some conversations stay with you long after the customer has walked out the door. And they challenge you in ways you didn't expect.
And I also know that I am not alone feeling this way.
Have you ever felt that you had to earn your rest, rather than simply allowing yourself to rest?
With love and gratitude
❤️ Irina
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