04/01/2026
Me again with a weekly waffle!! ❤️ I have had two work free weeks full of rest, thought and processing, And I wanted to share that I have recently experienced some beautiful open minded time and space which has helped me to feel and recognise some true moments of healing. ❤️🩹
I wanted to talk a little about the "Inner child"! Deep this week I know! This break from work, alongside the support from my new habit to write down and really consider my thoughts, feelings and ultimately where my inner core beliefs about myself and the world around me stem from (Thank You "Artists way" Julia cameron), I noted a few childhood experiences which I think any child would struggle to process, therefore I at a young age certainly didn't give them the attention, and therefore processing, they probably required in order to prevent potentially unhelpful beliefs about myself from developing... It is this very concept of un-processed childhood experiences which many counselling and psychotherapy theories suggests can lead to the beginning of negative core beliefs... 💭
Now I'm not yet confident enough to use the word trauma to describe an experience, due to the weight and associations with the word, and I found the beautiful author "Donna Lancaster" and her work and theories around the Inner Child, and she instead uses the word Heatbreak, which I feel much more at ease using to describe my experiences. Her examples of someone's experience of heartbreak include experiences of bullying, a parents divorce, a relationship breakdown, death of a loved one and the follow up feelinds of loss and grief. Donna describes heartbreaks as the moments where our inner child experiences the loss of their innocence, the loss of their hopeful positive view of the world. The loss of their childlike view that the world is a safe place.
I therefore have spent a few moments this week giving my own experiences of heartbreak, the moments of processing they probably didn't have during real time as a child, and I have explored how these heartbreaks may have shaped some of my core beliefs about the world and myself! - here I can link to last week! Where I hinted of my unhelpful belief that self-worth depends on someone's levels of productivity, and success. I've explored the potential experiences which may have built this belief, and I intend to chip away at this belief and re-introduce a more accepting and peaceful belief 🥰
I also wanted to quickly add in a belief I have which I think may need a lot of attention to disect, and that is that is that, experiencing any negative emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, frustration, etc ... makes me a weak, unhappy, and ultimately "bad" human... I couldnt' think of a better word than "bad" for that one. In other words, happy, content, strong, healthy people, do not experience negative emotions. I also wonder if my inner child built the idea that adults do not have negative emotions, children only feel sad and angry. 🚫
I have only recently came to accept that this is far fro the truth! These emotions are part of life, and are out healthy responses to our experuences and our thoughts. If anything, rejecting my own negative emotions, or getting frustrated at the fact I am experiencing these emotions, has probably been a big reason I have struggled to sit with them, and let them pass ⏳️. Having negative emotions, does not mean you cannot regulate or manage your emotions, you cannot regulate your emotions "away". These emotions of sadness, anger and fear are your healthy responses to life, and they make you human.🩵
With this in mind I wanted to share the theraputic phrase "hysteria is historical" which suggests that the concept that intense, seemingly irrational emotional reactions ("hysterical") often stem from unresolved past heartbreak or experiences ("historical"). The inner child built a belief out of their experiences of loss.. Donna Lancaster also gives some beautifully worded ways to recognise if a belief you hold, or your reaction to a situation, may be your "Wounded inner childs" response, or a "healed wise adult" responce. 💛
Thank you for staying with my ramble, I wonder if any of it lands somewhere helpfully for you!
