The Spud Van - Hyde Market

17/06/2026

🥔⚽ “Penalty practice at The Spud Van — because carbs score every time!”
Our England spud’s out front showing off his footwork — no chips, no drama, just pure jacket‑potato precision.
Rain or shine, we’re serving hot fillings and hotter football vibes at Hyde Market Square.
Come grab your spud and shout “It’s coming home!” like you mean it. 🇬🇧🔥

16/06/2026

🔑 KEY MAN PAUL

Hyde Market Square — next to The Spud Van

Keys playing up? Snapped? Lost? Or just doing your head in?
Paul sorts it. Fast. Friendly. Proper prices.
No faff. No drama. No wandering off for half an hour.

Keys cut while you wait — before your spud’s even cooled down.

The bloke Hyde trusts.
The stall you can actually rely on.
Right next to the best potatoes in town.

15/06/2026

“It’s Monday… but don’t panic. Your emotional support spud has clocked in.
Hot, fluffy, fully loaded, and ready to rescue you from whatever chaos the weekend left behind.
Come to Hyde Market Square — where the only thing we’re smashing is potatoes, not our sanity.” 🥔🥔🥔

13/06/2026

🥔 SATURDAY ROLL CALL: THE SPUD VAN IS OPEN AND JUDGING YOUR HUNGER LEVELS

Hyde Market’s waking up, the pigeons are already causing drama, and your favourite steaming jacket potatoes are lined up like they’re auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent.

Your fillings today:

• Cheese & Beans — the classic that never texts back
• Chicken Madras— hotter than the weather promised to be
• Chilli — for those who like to live dangerously before 10am

If you walk past pretending you’re “just browsing”, don’t worry — The Spud Van saw you. The Spud Van ALWAYS sees you.

Come get fed before the market chaos begins.

12/06/2026

🔥 FRIDAY SPUD FANTASY 🔥

If you woke up hungry… don’t worry, these three are ready to ruin your diet and your self‑control.

Fluffy jackets, melty cheese, beans bubbling like they’ve got gossip, crispy onions doing the absolute most, chilli to warm your soul and coleslaw smoother than your weekend plans.

Get yourself down to Hyde Market Square and let The Spud Van sort your life out.
Your stomach will thank you. Your willpower won’t.

Follow us for more spud temptation 🥔💛

10/06/2026

🥔 “Why Are Your Potatoes So Big?”

People keep asking why our jacket potatoes are massive.
All I can tell you is… they’re very well fed.

I’ve literally just caught one of them eating cheese, beans and tuna like it’s bulking season.
No wonder they come out the size of small kettlebells.

If you want a potato that’s been living its best life, get yourself to The Spud Van today.

09/06/2026

🥔💨 SPUD ON THE RUN — WITH PAUL’S KEYS

If anyone sees this absolute menace of a potato sprinting round Hyde Market with a set of keys…
Yeah. That’s ours.
And yes — he’s faster than he looks.

Key Man Paul is currently stood here, hands on hips, muttering things we can’t post online while this rogue spud legs it like he’s late for a shift at The Spud Van.

If your keys go missing today, don’t panic — it’s probably him.
If you need new ones cutting because a potato has robbed you blind, Paul’s your man.
Right next to The Spud Van.
No drama. No fuss. Just proper key‑cutting

08/06/2026

Warm Your Soul Monday

Hyde, the rain has finally decided to calm itself down and the Monday traders are setting up like champs.
It’s a little on the cool side, but don’t worry — The Spud Van is back on the Market Square and fully prepared to warm your entire existence.

If your soul needs rescuing, grab a chicken madras jacket.
It’s basically central heating… but tastier.
🥔🥔🥔

06/06/2026