Just Dani-Lou

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Just Dani-Lou Nearly-40 Mum of 3 šŸ’š
Living with PCOS/PMOS
ā€œTryingā€ to run a business, lose weight, but mostly just winging it. āœŒšŸ»

10/09/2026

MENOPAUSEā€¦ PICK A FU***NG TEMPERATURE. šŸ„¶šŸ”„

This morning? Freezing my t**s off. Wrapped in a fleecy blanket questioning whether September has accidentally become December.

This evening? I already KNOW Iā€™ll be sweating my t**s off, ripping layers off and wondering why it suddenly feels like Iā€™m holidaying in Dubai.

Apparently regulating our own body temperature is just another basic bodily function menopause has decided we no longer require. šŸ‘šŸ¼

So from now on Iā€™m dressing like itā€™s 30 degrees outside and taking my trusted fleecy blanket everywhere with me.

Summer outfit šŸ¤ Nan blanket.

Prepared for ALL eventualities. šŸ˜‚

SIDENOTE: Before the do-gooders arrive in the comments to tell me I shouldnā€™t be filming while driving ā€” my daughter pressed record and stop. I was entirely hands-free.

So you can f**k off as well. šŸ«¶šŸ¼šŸ˜‚

10/09/2026

Where is this supposed SECOND SEPTEMBER HEATWAVE we were promised then?! ā˜€ļøšŸ‘€

Because I am currently sat in my own house FREEZING MY FU***NG T**S OFF, wrapped in a fleecy blanket like Iā€™m waiting to be evacuated from the Arctic.

And somewhere along the line I have officially turned into my Nan.

Cold? Put a jumper on.
Still cold? Get a blanket.
Feet cold? Put some socks on.
Kids cold? Youā€™ve all got dressing gowns.

Because Iā€™ll tell you what we are NOT doingā€¦

PUTTING THE FU***NG HEATING ON IN SEPTEMBER.

Absolutely not. šŸ˜‚
The heating does not exist until October 1st.

Until then, we layer.

Nan would be proud. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­

26/08/2026

Just popping on to confirm that despite being missing for two weeks, I am in fact still alive. Barely. šŸ˜‚

Current life update:

I feel like absolute s**t.
My back has apparently aged 40 years overnight and Iā€™m living off pain relief.
Iā€™m jabbing myself to fit into a bridesmaid dress in 14 months but it makes me feel sick approximately 24 hours a day.
My routine has completely disappeared and, as someone whose ADHD ļæ¼brain requires structure to do simple functions, I am currently running on vibes, caffeine and pure irritation.

And Iā€™m still walking four miles every other day to charge the f**king c**t of a car.

And then yesterday, my little Nan passed away. ā¤ļø

Obviously, Nan being Nan, she couldnā€™t just slip off quietly without a bit of dramaā€¦

Because on the VERY SAME DAY, the late, great Dolly Parton apparently decided it was her time too.

Nan waited nearly 90 years for her five minutes of fame and Dolly said:

ā€œAbsolutely f**king not, babe.ā€ šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚

So yeahā€¦ itā€™s been a week.

I need routine.
I need to stop feeling sick.
I need my back to stop behaving like Iā€™ve been laying patios for 30 years.

And apparently I need to start posting again before people assume Iā€™ve joined Nan and Dolly.

Iā€™M ALIVE. Iā€™M BACK. ISH. šŸ˜‚ā¤ļø

16/08/2026

šŸšØ THE ELECTRIC CAR SAGA CONTINUESā€¦ šŸšØ

Iā€™d just like to formally apologise to all the electric car enthusiasts Iā€™ve upset recently. You were right.

It IS my fault.

My fault for believing the dashboard when it said 50 miles remaining. šŸ˜‚

Because apparently in Electric Car Mathsā„¢ļø, 50 miles = one 9-mile journey there and backā€¦ with 3 miles left.

WHAT THE F**K WERE THE OTHER 29 MILES DOING?!
Working from home?! šŸ˜­šŸ”‹

So now Iā€™ve driven to the ONLY supercharger within about 50 milesā€¦ which is naturally in the middle of a f**king fieldā€¦ and someoneā€™s car is plugged into it.

No owner.
No human beings.
Not even a suspicious-looking sheep who might know where theyā€™ve gone.

Just me. Watching somebody elseā€™s car eat electricity while mine prepares to become garden furniture.

So Iā€™ve had to park 25 MINUTES WALK from the seafront because apparently owning an electric car also comes with a complimentary hiking qualification.

And before the EV Defence League clock in for another unpaid shift in my commentsā€¦

YES. I KNOW. ITā€™S MY FAULT. šŸ˜‚
I bought it.
I continue to drive it.
I continue to believe the mileage like a woman repeatedly going back to a man who says ā€œIā€™ve changed.ā€

There is absolutely NO WAY a woman invented electric cars.

Anywayā€¦ saving the planet one nervous breakdown and 25-minute walk at a time. šŸŒšŸ”‹

PS... None of you ar****les need to comment on the extremely awful suntan I have on my face. I know itā€™s awful. I was the di****ad that sat on the decking and got burnt with sunglasses on!!

Petrol drivers, I owe you an apology.
I wasnā€™t familiar with your game. šŸ˜‚

14/08/2026

Apparently the UK has decided to become the f**king Caribbean and my body has responded by discovering brand new places to sweat from. ā˜€ļøšŸ„µ

Underboob? Understandable.
Back of the knees? Bit unnecessary.
Arse crack? Absolutely f**king criminal.
The little crease where your thigh meets your foof? WHY IS THERE A TROPICAL CLIMATE DOWN THERE?!

Iā€™ve showered, dried myself, got dressedā€¦ and immediately needed another shower.

My hair hasnā€™t been down for approximately 6 weeks. My thighs are one friction burn away from starting a small fire. And every chair I stand up from now requires a discreet little glance backwards to make sure I havenā€™t left a f**king BODY PRINT. šŸ˜­

And still thereā€™s always one di****ad going:

ā€œLovely weather though, isnā€™t it?ā€ ā˜€ļø

NO, KEITH. MY UNDERWEAR HAVE THEIR OWN FU***NG ECOSYSTEM.

Bring back 25 degrees and a light breeze immediately. šŸ‡¬šŸ‡§šŸ˜‚

12/08/2026

Apparently thereā€™s a solar eclipse, which has mainly reminded me of two things:

1. FULL MOON šŸŒ• HALF MOON šŸŒ“ TOTAL ECLIPSE šŸŒ‘
And now I want a f**king Jaffa Cake more than I want to witness a rare celestial event.

2. The 1999 eclipse.
When newspapers gave you FREE eclipse glasses. FREE. šŸ•¶ļø
We didnā€™t know how good we had it. The 90s were f**king BOUGIE.

Fast forward to 2026 and apparently everyoneā€™s a tight comet ā˜„ļø because I canā€™t find a pair anywhere. So Iā€™ll be experiencing this magnificent wonder of the universe through my phone screen like a di****ad at a Coldplay concert.

And before the trolls arrive:
YES. I KNOW Iā€™VE GOT A BIG FOREHEAD.
Iā€™ve already made the joke that I could stand outside and block the f**king sun myself. Youā€™re late. The materialā€™s been used. Find another flaw or clock off.

Donā€™t be a f**king di****ad all your life. šŸ˜‚

Anywayā€¦ astronomical history is happening and all I can think about is whether Jaffa Cakes still come in the little plastic tray.

FULL MOON. HALF MOON. TOTAL ECLIPSE.

90s kids, this is OUR Super Bowl. šŸ˜‚šŸŠšŸ«

11/08/2026

Apparently Iā€™ve accidentally wandered into the most protected community on the internet: old men with electric cars. šŸ˜­āš”ļø

I made ONE joke about hating my EV and suddenly the comments section looks like a f**king retirement village has discovered Wi-Fi.

ā€œMineā€™s been fine for five years.ā€
ā€œI think thatā€™s a you problem.ā€
ā€œIā€™ve never had range anxiety.ā€

CONGRATULATIONS, Geezer. šŸ†
Iā€™ll alert the King.

I didnā€™t realise purchasing an electric car came with a legally binding agreement to defend it online like itā€™s your firstborn child.

It was a comedy reel, lads. Not a personal attack on your Nissan Leaf.

And after carefully considering all your feedback, Iā€™d just like to confirm:

I still f**king hate electric cars. šŸ„°āš”ļø

Theyā€™re inconvenient, dramatic, permanently threatening to leave me stranded and require more planning than a military evacuation.

The only difference between my EV and the men defending them in my comments is the car occasionally has some charge. šŸ˜­

11/08/2026

MUMSā€¦ HOW ARE WE COPING IN THIS HEATWAVE? ā˜€ļøšŸ”„

3 weeks into the school holidays, living in a caravanā€¦

šŸ”„ Forehead: medium rare
šŸ‘ƒ Nose: looks like Iā€™ve been drinking since breakfast
šŸ’‡ā€ā™€ļø Hair: permanently in a bun because it now has the texture of loft insulation
šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø Face: no longer sunburnt. Weā€™ve progressed to weather damaged
šŸ©“ Outfit: same shorts, different day
šŸ’¦ Underboob: its own microclimate
šŸ¦µ Thighs: applauding every time I walk
šŸ¦Ÿ Legs: 40% mosquito bites
šŸ§“ SPF: applied religiously to the kids while apparently forgetting I also have skin
šŸ„µ Caravan temperature: crematorium with curtains
šŸ›ļø Sleeping conditions: one leg out the duvet, t**s out, fan 4 inches from my face
šŸ¹ Hydration: mainly anything served with ice and questionable decision-making
šŸ§  Mental state: Googling ā€œcan you legally put your children into summer camp until September?ā€
šŸ‘§ Kids: ā€œMUMMMMMM!ā€
Me: WHAT THE F**K COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED NOW?

At this point I donā€™t need aftersun.

I need reupholstering.

Anywayā€¦ only another few weeks until weā€™re all moaning that itā€™s f**king raining. šŸ‡¬šŸ‡§šŸ˜‚

04/08/2026

Whoever told you owning an electric car was cheaperā€¦ forgot to mention the emotional damage.

I donā€™t drive anywhere anymoreā€¦
I calculate.

Iā€™ve already got anxiety through the roof thanks to perimenopauseā€¦

ā€¦and now Iā€™ve voluntarily bought a car that gives me trust issues.

Can I get there?
Yeah.

Can I get back? Absof**kinglootly NOT

Petrol drivers leave the house with hopes and dreams.

Electric car drivers leave with 97% battery and a prayer.

Fact Iā€™ll have 150 miles showing.
My journey is 20 miles.

So naturally my brain is convinced Iā€™m going to die in a lay-by.

Itā€™s hotter than Satanā€™s ar****le outsideā€¦

The air con HAS to go on.

But the second you press the buttonā€¦

150% 149% 148%

Excuse me? I havenā€™t even f**king moved yet.

At this point Iā€™d rather sweat my t**s off than lose another 12 miles of range.

Then youā€™ve got the chargers installed by idiots in the countrysideļæ¼

The car cheerfully says,

ā€œWould you like to locate your nearest rapid charger?ā€

Would I?!

YES, Sharon I would!

Only the nearest oneā€™s in the middle of f**king nowhere next to a field full of horse s**t!

Because apparently everyone out here drives diesel tractors and old school Land Roversā€¦

ā€¦yet somehow the ONLY rapid charger for 50 miles from the seaside town in the middle of a meadow.

Then by the time youā€™ve found a chargerā€¦

Downloaded three different appsā€¦

Verified your emailā€¦

Reset your password because apparently youā€™ve already got an accountā€¦

Tapped your card four timesā€¦

You couldā€™ve driven to Scotland and back in a diesel!!!

Owning an electric car during perimenopause should qualify as an extreme sport.

Saving the planetā€¦ one anxiety attack at a time.

03/08/2026

Two weeks into the summer holidays and this caravan has officially cost me a small mortgage.

The bingo hall has absolutely rinsed me. Every night I confidently walk in thinking, ā€œTonightā€™s my night.ā€ Every night I walk out Ā£40 lighter with absolutely f**k all to show for it.

And because life clearly thought I wasnā€™t being tested enoughā€¦ my neighbours have rented their caravan out to what can only be described as a travelling under-12s football academy.

Apparently the six-foot gap between our caravans is now Wembley, and my shed has been unanimously selected as the goal. Every thirty secondsā€¦

THUD.

The mum was absolutely lovely when they arrived. Genuinely couldnā€™t have been nicer.

Which is exactly why I hope she steps on a piece of Lego barefoot at 2amā€¦

ā€¦not enough to injure her.

Just enough to make her question every life decision that led to her children treating my caravan like itā€™s the FA Cup Final. šŸ˜‚

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