04/10/2026
Us: Welshie… what are you doing up there?
Welshie: Admiring the view.
Us: What view?
Welshie: All of Lincolnshire.
Us: From that?
Welshie: Yes. I can see for miles.
Us: Because there’s nothing in the way.
Welshie: Precisely. Excellent planning.
Us: You’re lying on a bump in a field.
Welshie: It’s a mountain.
Us: Welshie, you’re a Welsh Mountain Sheep. You’ve lived in Wales. You know what a mountain looks like.
Welshie: I know what a mountain looks like in Wales. This is a Lincolnshire mountain.
Us: That’s not a thing.
Welshie: It is now.
Us: How high is it?
Welshie: About… three sheep high.
Us: That’s not very high.
Welshie: By Lincolnshire standards, I’m practically in the clouds.
Us: And what can you see from the summit?
Welshie: Karen.
Us: Just Karen?
Welshie: Karen, the flock, that hedge, and quite possibly Newark.
Us: Newark is miles away.
Welshie: Exactly. The visibility is tremendous.
Us: Why are you keeping such a close eye on Karen?
Welshie: Someone has to. She’s a black sheep.
Us: And?
Welshie: She stands out.
Us: Welshie, you’re a Welsh Mountain Sheep sitting on a hill in Lincolnshire.
Welshie: Yes. I’m the local landmark.
Us: You do realise Lincolnshire is famous for being flat?
Welshie: Which makes me extremely important.
Us: Important?
Welshie: Of course. If I move, the county loses its highest point.
Us: You really like this hill, don’t you?
Welshie: I’ve finally found somewhere I can look down on everyone.
Us: Including Karen?
Welshie: Especially Karen.
Us: What happens if the rest of the flock comes up here?
Welshie: I shall have to charge them for mountain access.
Us: Mountain access?
Welshie: Two tufts of grass per sheep. No refunds.
Us: You’re ridiculous.
Welshie: Maybe. But at least I’ve got the high ground.
Us: By about six inches.
Welshie: Six inches is a considerable elevation in Lincolnshire.
Us: Fair point.
Welshie: Now go away. I’m enjoying the altitude.
Us: Enjoy your mountain, Welshie.
Welshie: Thank you. It’s been a long climb.
Us: You walked up from there.
Welshie: I said it was a long climb. Don’t ruin the moment.
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