ROAD Poetrycomedytragedy

05/06/2026

i once had a docile pet antelope
i fed him on magical cantelope
it made him want s*x
with a range of insects
'til by god i saw him and an ant elope

28/05/2026

woebegone the wobbegon
couchant on the ocean floor
never gets to sing a song
or knock upon a door
it was ghetto from the getgo

11/05/2026

10/05/2026

my parents, tragically, stayed together...dysfunctional symbiosis

07/05/2026

there is a young man in a bidet
been living inside it since D day
his landlord's a turk
who gave him a perk
How to survive on a pide

05/05/2026

The difficulties in not working for Master
F**k You

Ha what's it worth
being a comic
i mean all that gaslighting
takes it toll

rob me rouse me
rush me spike me
it's not exactly jolly
finding a show.

it's like being a kerb crawler
in your own backyard
(where JonGlur's body
lies a grinning not grave)

it's peddling hot water
while the ship of fools
looks down to see you
two foot tall too small to save

Your shame's a metaphor
for nothing to kill for
or set comedic store by
nowt but reflex keeps you high

throughout the bounds
of being stuck up creeks
and gone to the hounds
or hyenas, i mean as

a christian to the laughterhouse
you've got no nows
except down the caff
and the dying last laugh

what's it worth being a comic
when you've no taste for the tonic
of Ha Bloody Ha
and one last jar

you're a tunnel visioned
precious problematic
lounge act immune to the buzz
it's just because

lounging 'neath
a lone cosmic star
is better than workin
that you seek a secret cabaret,

though stripped of glee
devoid of mirth,
a date in the diary's
paramount to your secret worth

little wonder
you pay no court
to court jesters around
kitted out your chambers
and made your stand

and
after screaming blue murders
you arrive funnily at Avalon
bound and gagged
an old man

29/04/2026

Good Lord!

They made a great find,
i heard on the grapevine,
a demimondaine,
a damn mundane thing
but with a broad range
of road rage within
A hottentot potentate what!

disinterred with disinterest
judged as indiginous
but indignant at being indigent
after all these years

now a tatterdemailion
mailman lies in tatters
and fears
needing atrial fibrilation
and a trial separation
the first, from its claws
the second, from its jurrasic jaws

29/04/2026

a flamboyant windy day, the blue cloudless mirror up there reflects my own peculiar thoughts. for how can something so sunny be so cold? my mind vacillates also, between the old and broken and the new emerging. when my father was my age now he said he was an 'old man'. oh how his influence sticks

21/04/2026

the comedy circuit needs a select commitee
(oh s**t it looks like it's got one)

16/04/2026

Smoke and Mirrors

rumourmongers in their mill
tailor a grey area
where names
mudded
and dirtied
echo

the lancelot of gripes
pats me heavy
on the back
with an out of the blue
alright mate!
how male
how unprofessional

he pants
as if he doesn't recall
what he did
_________________

in life's sad interval
there is still a chance to put props in order,
learn my guitar in readiness

It is in a gap,
a moment like this,
- where it seems
anything can happen
and in which even
the most vigilant
get caught -
that citrus boy
will get his tuppence