07/12/2025
❤️My last day of maternity leave. ❤️
I thought everything was ready…
The childminder, The baby meals,
A little bag of tiny clothes, A timetable
And my heart in pieces.
We went for a little walk along Bray seafront. I grabbed a coffee and suddenly felt emotional… tears just came. I prayed while looking at the Bray Head’s Cross. I wondered how many mums have cried staring at that same cross.
That evening I made a special dinner for us. My baby had just started solids, so I baked a few veggies. Then suddenly — an unexpected knock at the door. My boss. Standing there.
I grabbed my baby and rushed downstairs, completely confused.
“Hey… hi?” I said, not really understanding what was happening. Honestly, the last thing I wanted that day was to see my boss. Still, I invited him in and offered tea. We made small talk about the weather — because I genuinely had no idea why he was there.
After a few awkward minutes he asked about the baby.
“She’s fine. She’s the best company ever,” I said.
Then he started talking about the cost of childcare, how hard it is to find, the transport I’d need to take, the route I’d follow every morning… As if I didn’t already have all of these worries swirling in my head. It was already an emotional day — and this unexpected visit wasn’t helping.
The whole chat felt strange. Uncomfortable. I was in shock.
Before he left, all I remember saying was:
“I need the job. I have to provide for my baby. I won’t quit.” He left.
It was around 6pm. The rest of the evening I was glued to my daughter, feeling the horror of going back to work.
My brain — after 6 months alone with a baby — wasn’t working properly.
My body, my hair… oh my goodness. I wasn’t okay. But it was time to go back to the office.
I made my baby laugh just to borrow some strength from her joy.
We went to bed and slept together, knowing that the next morning we would begin a new phase — our first real time apart.
A new chapter, ready or not.