29/09/2026
And so, here we are — 80 days later, standing at the edge of the American Heartland with one foot on the gas pedal and the other somewhere between a casino bar and a flaming dumpster.
This particular chapter of the journey had its share of beautiful disasters.
It started innocently enough in New York, where Homeland Security decided that our arrival required a second interview. Apparently, crossing an ocean with cameras, luggage and questionable intentions is still enough to make the federal machinery twitch.
Then came the great New York → Des Moines transportation fiasco.
Six hours, they said.
Six fu***ng hours.
Thirty-five hours later, we finally arrived.
Chicago was supposed to be the connecting point. Instead, it became an overnight stay at the kiddie palace, followed by a short and ugly night of sleep — only to discover that the airline had apparently forgotten to reserve two seats for the two human beings standing in front of them.
So naturally, we flew 4,000 miles in the wrong direction.
Chicago → Colorado → Des Moines.
Because apparently this is how modern aviation works.
Once safely deposited in Ogden, Sarah decided to add another chapter to the saga by kicking the couch hard enough to break her foot. Six weeks of no driving, limping around and generally operating like a wounded pirate.
And yet — somehow — it was.
There was tailgating. College football. Horse racing at the casino. Bingo. Pufferbilly Days. Concerts. Cold b**r. Loud music. Long nights. Bad decisions. And an enormous quantity of quality drunken time with old friends and new ones.
The Heartland did what the Heartland does: it swallowed us whole, kicked us around a little, then handed us another b**r.
And now it is time to leave.
Almost exactly two years ago, we boarded a flight to Los Angeles for the sole purpose of climbing onto a ship and crossing the Pacific.
Tomorrow, we do it again.
Different ship. Different route. Same questionable judgment.
Destination: Japan.
The crossing will take roughly 16 days, and this time there will be no internet. No messages. No updates. No digital lifeline to the outside world.
Just us, a ship, several thousand miles of Pacific Ocean and whatever the f**k happens when you remove two chronic travelers from Wi-Fi for more than two weeks.
So don't worry if you don't hear from us.
If everything goes according to plan, we'll eventually crawl out on the other side of the Pacific — slightly older, probably hungover, and hopefully still in possession of all our luggage.
Japan is waiting.
The Pacific is enormous.
And somewhere out there, nobody can hear you scream.
See you on the other side. ☠️🍻🌊🇯🇵