10/11/2026
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic violence, emotional abuse & gaslighting
This may be a difficult post to listen to, but I feel it’s important to share.
As a domestic violence survivor, the kind of screaming and behavior you hear in this video was something that was common in my home when I was married to my ex.
But there’s something I want you to pay attention to when you listen…
The person screaming is blaming the victim for their own behavior.
That is gaslighting.
They twist the situation around until you start questioning yourself. You begin to believe that maybe you caused it. Maybe you said the wrong thing. Maybe you should have handled it differently.
I remember thinking so many times:
“If I could just be better…”
“If I could just do something differently…”
“Maybe then he wouldn’t be angry.”
“Maybe then he wouldn’t hurt me.”
But that was a lie.
It was never my fault.
You cannot love someone into treating you with respect. You cannot be perfect enough to prevent someone else from choosing to hurt, control, or abuse you.
And that is one of the reasons leaving an abusive relationship can be so incredibly difficult. When someone has spent enough time convincing you that everything is your fault, you can lose sight of the fact that you deserve safety and respect.
If you are listening to this and recognizing your own experience, please know this:
You are not responsible for someone else’s abuse.
You did not cause it.
You cannot fix it by becoming “better.”
And you are not alone.
I share my story because I survived it.
And if sharing the parts of my story that are difficult helps even one woman realize that what is happening to her isn’t her fault, then it is worth telling.
❤️ There is life after abuse. There is healing. There is hope.
