11/30/2025
COOP APOCALYPSE: DAY 1 ☠️
My hen has officially laid an egg so enormous the OTHER chickens formed a prayer circle around it.
I touched it and I’m pretty sure it whispered back.
Not words… just vibrations of ancient poultry prophecy.
The smaller egg is trembling beside it like:
“Mother? Is that you? …Mother??”
The big egg keeps absorbing light.
My phone battery dropped 17% just being near it.
I think it feeds on electricity… and possibly souls.
The hen that laid it?
She’s pacing in circles like she’s waiting for it to hatch into something that will call her “General.”
Last night the coop doors rattled on their own.
I heard a thump and then a deep, echoing BWAAAAWK
that did not sound like it belonged to any earthly bird.
I’m not saying a chicken demon is hatching…
but I AM saying I’ve sprinkled holy water on the nesting boxes
and my other hens are refusing to go near the “forbidden egg.”
If I start levitating, someone please unplug the coop.
That should slow it down…. Maybe…
All jokes aside, I love using these double yolks for my husbands breakfast sandwiches.
