Rockyard Brewing

04/29/2026

03/13/2026

St. Patrick's Day menu is live today 3/13/2026.
come enjoy one of our tasty dishes.

12/24/2025

12/24:
This elf is drunk on the clock, flirting with the bar stools, arguing about IBUs, and absolutely will be “helping” behind the bar without permission.

HR asked us to delete this. We did not.

12/23/2025

Wishing you a very SAFE and Merry Christmas from everyone here at Rockyard!

12/20/2025

Elf came for happy hour, sat with the regulars, and now knows who’s divorced, who’s banned from trivia, and why Steve isn’t allowed to close out.

12/18/2025

🚨 INCIDENT REPORT 🚨

Case #: 25-ELF-001
Date/Time: Unknown. Time lost in the cellar.
Location: Inside stainless tank (unauthorized entry)

Reporting Party: Brewer on duty
Suspect: One (1) Elf. Red uniform. No PPE.

Narrative:
Upon routine inspection, reporting party discovered suspect standing inside fermentation vessel. Suspect made direct eye contact and did not attempt to flee. When questioned, suspect stated, “I was just supervising.”

Suspect displayed no remorse and appeared comfortable in the environment. No signs of forced entry. No witnesses.

Evidence Collected:
– One elf
– Questionable decisions
– Vibes (immaculate, concerning)

Action Taken:
Verbal warning issued. Suspect remains at large within brewery.

Status:
Case open. Trust broken.

Notes:
Recommend locking tanks. Elf cannot be trusted.

NothingToSeeHere

12/17/2025

He said ‘trust the process’ and climbed in. whirlpool bath time.
”

12/13/2025

When you try to sneak back up the chimney but realize Santa upgraded to gas.

12/13/2025

Elf on the Shelf has gone off the “ales.”

He’s supposed to be watching us… but we’re watching him.