05/05/2026
Dear Mom
It’s hard to believe that almost a year has gone by since we last spoke. There are so many things I’ve wanted to share with you, so many times I desperately wished for your company and an opportunity to cry on your shoulder, hear your words of support, or just know that you were present in this world I now inhabit without you. There is absolutely nothing that compares to your friendship and the incredibly special bond we experienced as mother and daughter. You were my North Star, and I’ve felt unmoored and adrift on this planet you no longer call home.
But I see you in the daisies we planted in your memorial garden, I see you in the hummingbirds that visit our flowers on the farm, I wonder at the cardinal that shows up in my backyard whenever I’ve had an especially hard or exceptionally wonderful day (is that you?), and I’m grateful beyond measure for the ways we never failed to express how much we loved each other. The Universe has been kind enough to honor that love with reminders everyday… bits of beauty combined with recollections of all the miracles we celebrated together. I’m lost and I’m found in those moments.
I’m just days away from walking into the first Mother’s Day without having a mom to send peonies to. I struggle to understand how to fully relieve my heart of this grief I carry; it is a constant ache, a hollow spot in my being that cannot be filled, and has become a part of who I am everyday. There is no replacing you. Not ever. A part of me is forever connected to you, wherever you are, and knowing that, I will try to find a way to move through this life with a few missing pieces.
I know it’s a Hallmark day, and possibly (probably) not acknowledged on the Other Side, but I hope that you’re celebrated and cherished for the amazing mom that you were, and I will continue to honor the ritual of Mother’s Day as a daughter who was forever changed by the extraordinary love of an extraordinary mother.
Your child always, and gratefully so,
Rebecca
PS. For those of you who still have your mothers and/or mother-figures within earshot- love them loudly.
And for those who do not, my heart is hugging yours.