Wallace Family Farm

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Wallace Family Farm 🐮Welcome to Wallace Family Farm!

Farm life, laughs & adventures with Maybel, our spoiled pasture princess. ♥️🌾
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10/20/2026

Went out to the pasture to spend some quality time with Maybel. 🥰🐮

Unfortunately, Maybel woke up today and chose destruction, hate, and discontent. 💀🤣

Trying to eat everything EXCEPT the things she’s actually supposed to eat. Picking fights with the Polaris like it personally offended her entire bloodline. Then chasing said Polaris across the pasture like she’s training for the 2028 Olympics. 🏃‍♀️💨

Ma’am. You are a 900-pound cow. Not a track star. Not a demolition contractor. And certainly not the neighborhood menace you seem determined to become.

Just another peaceful day at Wallace Family Farm, where the livestock is unsupervised emotionally and management has completely lost control. 🤦🏼‍♀️🐮😂

🐮💕 Remember that adorable custom sign my cousin Adam made for Maybel and her barn?!Well, GOOD NEWS! You can now order yo...
10/19/2026

🐮💕 Remember that adorable custom sign my cousin Adam made for Maybel and her barn?!

Well, GOOD NEWS! You can now order your very own! 🤩🙌

My cousin, Adam, is just getting his business up and running, and let me tell y’all… he is incredibly talented! He can make just about anything, so if you have an idea floating around in your head, SEND HIM A MESSAGE! 🎨✨

Looking for a unique birthday gift? Christmas present? Something personalized for your home, barn, or business? Or maybe you just want to treat yourself because, well… you deserve it. 💁🏼‍♀️

Whether you know exactly what you want or just have a crazy idea, Adam can help bring it to life!

❤️ Go give my cousin Adam a follow on Instagram, check out his work, and show his new business some love!

Small businesses have to start somewhere, and I’m so excited to see where he takes this! 🥹👏

And yes, Maybel fully approves of his craftsmanship. Although she probably thinks she should be getting royalties for advertising in the form of treats!
🐮😂💕

10/19/2026

What started as using a lawn chair for a scratching post quickly turned into something that looked suspiciously like a dance routine. 👀😂

We’ve officially named this new dance move “The Mabes.” 🍑💃

⚠️ FAIR WARNING: If you decide to break out “The Mabes” at the club, just know you WILL NOT be going home alone. 😏🔥🤣

The hips don’t lie, and apparently neither does a 900-pound cow with an itch. 💀🐮

10/18/2026

I always head outside to do farm chores with the BEST intentions. 🤠🐮

Unfortunately, I have two major problems:

1. I have ADHD.
2. Maybel is cute.

And quite frankly, that’s a recipe for absolutely ZERO productivity. 😂

Maybel wearing pink sunglasses? 💗🕶️ Obviously, chores can wait. We have a FASHION SHOW to attend. 💅🏼

Maybel picking a fight with the Polaris? 🚜🐮 Well, CLEARLY I need to stop everything and document this completely unnecessary confrontation. 🎥

Next thing I know, I’ve been outside for two hours, accomplished approximately 17% of my original to-do list, and have 46 new videos of my cow. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Do farm chores take significantly longer than they should? Absolutely.

Am I going to change my ways? Absolutely not.

The chores will still be there tomorrow, but Maybel might never wear those sunglasses again. 💁🏼‍♀️🐮💗

10/17/2026

To all my friends and family wondering why I haven’t answered my phone or responded to a single text message… please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 💔🤣

I am currently sitting in the middle of a pasture, cycling through all FIVE stages of grief because my 900-pound emotional support cow has decided she “needs space.” 🐮😭

🙅🏼‍♀️Denial: She’s just playing hard to get.

😤Anger: AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE DONE FOR YOU?!

🥺Bargaining: What if I brought you apples? Extra nuggies? MY FIRSTBORN?!

💔Depression: Sitting in the grass questioning my entire existence. 🥲

🤡Acceptance: Absolutely not. We’re going back to denial. 💀

Meanwhile, Maybel is across the pasture living her best life, completely unbothered, while I’m over here SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS…

JUST. LET. ME. LOVE. YOUUUUU!
😭🐮💔

Please keep me in your thoughts during this trying time. 🤣

What do y’all do on Friday nights? Go out to dinner? Hit the town? Enjoy a nice date night? 🍷💃Not me. 😂Here at Wallace F...
10/17/2026

What do y’all do on Friday nights? Go out to dinner? Hit the town? Enjoy a nice date night? 🍷💃

Not me. 😂

Here at Wallace Family Farm, I spend my Friday nights standing in the middle of a pasture having a full-blown photoshoot with a 900-pound cow who has absolutely ZERO respect for her photographer. 🐮📸

Some people have hobbies. I have Maybel.

And honestly? She’s booked, busy, and convinced the paparazzi are obsessed with her. 💅😂

Just another wild Friday night at Wallace Family Farm! 🤠🐄❤️

10/16/2026

🌧️🐮 Day 2 of feeding Maybel in the rain.

Except this morning, something was different…

Instead of standing in the middle of the pasture getting absolutely SOAKED like yesterday, Her Royal Highness was tucked away, safe and dry in her barn. 👑🐮

Apparently, yesterday’s experience taught her that she does, in fact, have a perfectly good roof over her head. 😂

Meanwhile, her personal chef (ME 🙋‍♀️) was still expected to report for duty, regardless of weather conditions.

Because heaven forbid the princess get wet… but Mom? Mom can look like a drowned raccoon as long as breakfast arrives on time. 🌧️🤣

Honestly, I don’t know who’s trained who at this point.

Just another morning at Wallace Family Farm, where the cow has better accommodations and customer service than most five-star resorts. 💅🐮❤️

10/15/2026

Went out to feed Maybel yesterday morning, and since it was raining, I naturally assumed Her Royal Highness would be tucked away in her nice, DRY barn.

You know… the one we provide specifically so she has shelter from the elements. 🙃

WRONG.

Where did I find my 900-pound toddler?

LAYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD. IN THE RAIN. 💀😂

Not a care in the world. Just casually marinating in Mother Nature’s complimentary shower.

Meanwhile, her perfectly good barn is sitting EMPTY.

Apparently, the barn is for decoration, and the pasture is now a luxury outdoor spa. 💅🌧️

At this point, I’ve accepted that I don’t own a cow. I just financially support a very large, very spoiled, free-range weirdo.

Welcome to Wallace Family Farm, where the accommodations are five-star, but the guests insist on sleeping outside. 🤦🏼‍♀️🐮🫠

10/14/2026

While we were out working on Maybel’s fence, our 900-pound project manager decided to clock in and supervise the operation. 🐮🚧😂

Everything was going according to plan until she encountered something absolutely TERRIFYING.

A shade tent. 😱

Our girl, who regularly terrorizes lawn equipment, rearranges furniture, and has absolutely no respect for personal space, was suddenly questioning her entire existence over a piece of fabric on four poles. 🤦‍♀️🤣

She approached cautiously. Studied it. Questioned its intentions. Decided it was probably a threat to national security.

But then she noticed something.

Mom was under the tent. And Mom was offering SCRATCHES. 👀

Suddenly, our brave little soldier was faced with an impossible decision.

Remain safely outside the terrifying structure… OR risk life and limb for a premium spa experience.

And wouldn’t you know it?

LOVE CONQUERS FEAR. 🥹❤️

Some cows are motivated by food. Some by companionship.

Mine will apparently face her deepest fears for a good scratch.

Bravery isn’t the absence of fear. It’s deciding the butt scratches are worth the risk. 🐮💅🤣

10/13/2026

You know that viral trend where people ask, “If you had a walkout song, what would it be?” 🎶😂

Well, as Maybel came strutting across the pasture to investigate all the excitement surrounding the installation of her new gate, I started thinking about what HER walkout song would be.

And honestly? There was only one appropriate answer.

🎶 DIVA by Beyoncé. 🎶 💅🐮

Because if there is one thing our 900-pound toddler has mastered, it’s making an ENTRANCE.

And let me tell you… the song choice could not have been more accurate. 🤣

She arrived at the construction site like a celebrity who had just discovered her dressing room wasn’t up to her standards.

🐮 Coolers? FLIPPED.

🐮 Chairs? OVERTURNED.

🐮 Equipment? THOROUGHLY INSPECTED.

🐮 Personal space? VIOLATED.

🐮 Productivity? ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

She didn’t come to help. She came to make sure EVERYONE knew the entire operation revolved around her.

And in true diva fashion, she proceeded to cause absolute CHAOS while the rest of us scrambled around trying to get some actual work done. 😂

Welcome to the Wallace Family Farm, where even a simple gate installation turns into a Beyoncé concert featuring a bovine demolition crew. 🐮💅🎤

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Chelsea, OK

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