10/07/2026
Get turkeys, they said. Itāll be fun, they saidā¦.
Iāve always loved turkeys. Even more so since I started raising them. When they follow you around like dogs, you know youāre doing something right.
Theyāre curious thangs. They want to be involved in EVERYTHING youāre doingā¦sometimes a little too much.
Today I was just piddling around in the yard, and of course, the turkeys were following me. Which I donāt mindā¦most days.
Well, I bent over to pick something up, and the back of my shirt comes up.
Now what happened next, if somebody had gotten it on video, it wouldāve made somebody rich.
The turkey in question, pictured here, apparently decided that the area between my pants and my shirt looked like a mighty fine place to investigate.
And she went for it.
In the words of Jerry Clower, āIt likened to scared me half to death!ā
I hollered.
The turkey let out a yelp.
Then the OTHER turkeys started gobbling and yelping.
It turned into a full-blown turkey emergency.
I guess now I know what Forrest meant when he said, āIt felt like something jumped up and bit me.ā
Well Forrestā¦in my case, it wasnāt a bullet.
It was a dang turkey.
Yāall be blessed, and for the love of everything holyā¦wear a belt around these birds.