Coconut Guy

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Coconut Guy Pro Shucker serving & out of young coconuts.

On multi-state tour of events 6 months annually. 🔪🥥🥃🤙DM for BOOKING🤝

You wouldn't believe me if I told you...
09/21/2026

You wouldn't believe me if I told you...



Not a bad office for the day. 🌊☀️So excited to be back at and working with this incredible property again.There’s somet...
09/16/2026

Not a bad office for the day. 🌊☀️

So excited to be back at and working with this incredible property again.

There’s something special about getting to do what you love in places like this — an absolutely beautiful property, an amazing location, and truly some of the nicest staff you could ask to work alongside. The level of service and hospitality here is next level.

Feeling really grateful (and pretty lucky) that this work takes me to properties like Dream Inn Santa Cruz and lets me partner with teams who care so much about creating an incredible experience.

Now it’s time to get to work. 🙌

Can’t wait to see all my tonight and watch this one come together.

Santa Cruz, you’re looking pretty good from my office today. 🌴🌊

Hospitality EventProfessional CaliforniaEvents

Come join Casa Playa Life Time Folsom tomorrow 8/29. Casa Playa is a Tulum inspired night swim experience from 6 to 10pm...
08/29/2026

Come join Casa Playa Life Time Folsom tomorrow 8/29. Casa Playa is a Tulum inspired night swim experience from 6 to 10pm and will feature coconuts by the original Coconut Queen herself!!! 18+

Swipe for details--->

Midtown Sacramento nightlife + a fresh machete coconut bar = one hell of a Saturday night. 🥥🌴🔥Huge THANK YOU to the enti...
08/12/2026

Midtown Sacramento nightlife + a fresh machete coconut bar = one hell of a Saturday night. 🥥🌴🔥

Huge THANK YOU to the entire team at The Flamingo House and everyone who came through The Flamingo House last Saturday!

Seriously — the staff, the bartenders, the crowd, the energy… you guys made this one special. 🙏

And to everyone who stepped up to the Machete Coconut Bar and let me crack open a fresh coconut for you — THANK YOU. 🥥🔪

The drinks were next level too, featuring Passion Fruit Liqueur 🍹🔥 That passion fruit + fresh coconut combination was MADE for a Sacramento summer night.

And yeah… this thank-you post is a few days late. 😅

We went straight from Flamingo House into the House Of Vibes Jungle Party and then another back-to-back gig at Meta. It’s been a WEEK.

But Sacramento — I appreciate every single person who comes out, supports what I’m building, grabs a coconut, takes a video, brings a friend or just stops by to say what’s up.

You’re turning this crazy machete + coconut idea into something pretty damn special.

🥥 Where should the Machete Coconut Bar pop up next in Sacramento?

Drop the venue or event in the comments. 👇

SacramentoDrinks SacramentoCocktails MidtownSac FlamingoHouse SacramentoParty SacramentoFoodAndDrink FreshCoconut MacheteCoconutBar

Machete bartending… literally on the beach. 🥥🔪🌊Pretty hard to complain about the office that week!Had an incredible time...
08/07/2026

Machete bartending… literally on the beach. 🥥🔪🌊

Pretty hard to complain about the office that week!

Had an incredible time at showcasing The Coconut Guy for an amazing group of wedding professionals — with my bar set up RIGHT in the sand overlooking the ocean.

Does it get much better than that?

I feel ridiculously lucky to get invited into spaces like this, meet so many talented people in the wedding and events industry, and work alongside teams that make the whole experience so much fun.

A huge thank you to the Dream Inn Santa Cruz team for taking such great care of me — including giving this coconut-slinging guy a room for the night. 🙌🥥

And obviously, I couldn’t show up to a beachfront event without creating a drink specifically for it…

This one uses Malibu Pink and it is REALLY freaking good. 🌴🍹

I may have outdone myself.

👉 Swipe to the end for the recipe.

And if you’re planning a beach wedding, resort celebration, or coastal event and think your guests deserve fresh coconuts cracked by machete right in front of them…

I know a guy. 🥥🔪😎

WeddingInspiration CaliforniaWeddings CoconutBar EventBartender MalibuPink

🎉✨ Like, TOTALLY awesome! ✨🎉A HUGE thank you to The Glass Turtle for throwing the most righteous 40th Anniversary party!...
07/26/2026

🎉✨ Like, TOTALLY awesome! ✨🎉

A HUGE thank you to The Glass Turtle for throwing the most righteous 40th Anniversary party! 🕶️🎸 It was totally tubular celebrating with so many amazing staff, awesome customers, and everyone who came out rocking their best '80s vibes. Neon, big hair, leg warmers... it was like we jumped straight into a DeLorean and hit 1986. 🤘🌴🥥

We're so grateful to everyone who stopped by the Machete Coconut Bar, grabbed a fresh coconut, laughed with us, and made the day one we'll never forget. You all made the party feel bigger than a mixtape full of Bon Jovi, Journey, and Prince! 📼🎶

To the incredible Glass Turtle crew—thank you for your hospitality and for creating such an unforgettable celebration. Here's to another 40 years of great memories! Truly grateful🙏 for being included and I really hope we get to do another event sometime.

🎤 Want to bring the Machete Coconut Bar to your next event? Whether it's a bar, brewery, festival, private party, wedding, or corporate event, we'll bring the coconuts, the entertainment, and the tropical vibes! 🌴🥥

📩 DM The Coconut Guy aka Dustin Ryen today to book your next bar gig or event!

And to everyone who came by... you're the real MVPs. Party on, dudes! 🤙🥥💚

TotallyTubular BarEntertainment LiveEvents CoconutLife 80sParty BookUs

🚨📞 RING RING... The '80s called... and they want their party back! 🎉🕺Tonight we're taking it ALL the way back at The Gla...
07/26/2026

🚨📞 RING RING... The '80s called... and they want their party back! 🎉🕺

Tonight we're taking it ALL the way back at The Glass Turtle as they celebrate 40 years of good times! (They opened in 1986... now that's totally rad! 🤘)

🥥 The Machete Coconut Bar is OPEN NOW until CLOSE!

Grab a fresh coconut cocktail and party like it's 1986 with our tropical menu featuring cocktails made with & ABSOLUT 🍹🌴

✨ Crowd favorites include:
🥭 Mango Coconut Mai Tai
🥥 Fresh Coconut Cocktails
🍍 Tropical island vibes all night long

👾 Break out the neon, shoulder pads, leg warmers, acid wash jeans, and big hair because 80s outfits are encouraged!

🏆 Best 80s costume wins a prize!

Remember...
📼 Be kind... rewind.
☎️ The only thing getting ghosted tonight is your pager.
🎶 And don't stop believin'... the party goes until close!

See you tonight at The Glass Turtle! Let's make this anniversary celebration one for the history books! 🥥🍹✨ CoconutCocktails Nightlife FloridaNights PartyLikeIts1986

Mondays suck... but they hit a little different when you're a wannabe tropical cowboy with a truckload of coconuts to ge...
06/29/2026

Mondays suck... but they hit a little different when you're a wannabe tropical cowboy with a truckload of coconuts to get ready. 🤠🥥

This week's mission (aka today's work):
🥥 Process 700 fresh coconuts (over 1,200 lbs)
🧊 Haul 300 lbs of ice to keep the coconuts and coconut water perfectly chilled
🔥 Brand every coconut with my trusty Gearheart Kitchen Gearheart Industry branding irons
🗡️ Get everything ready for this week's machete bartending and events.

Never in a million years did I think "cutting coconuts with a machete" would take me to incredible places like , The Meritage Resort and Spa, and to Meta for the last of their Employee Appreciation MetaMate Music Festival (in the span of just this week) put on by GoodRoots .

I'm incredibly grateful for every client, every event, every late night processing coconuts, and everyone who's supported this wild little business. What started as a crazy idea has turned into opportunities I never imagined.

Now excuse me while I go wrestle another few hundred pounds of coconuts before this Monday wins. 😂🥥

Your turn...

How's your Monday going?
🥥 Crushing it
☕ Powered by caffeine
😅 Just trying to survive
😂 Already mentally at Friday

Drop your Monday mood in ONE word below ⬇️ (Bonus points if it makes us laugh.)

FreshCoconut CoconutWater Coconuts MacheteBartender MobileBartending CorporateEvents EventBartender TropicalVibes BehindTheScenes SmallBusinessLife RealCoconutGuy eventprof eventprofs

I honestly don't know what I'd do without Gearheart's branding irons. Gearheart Industry Gearheart Kitchen

Over the last 10 years, I've sold more than 500,000 coconuts, and the vast majority of them have been branded with custom logos. That simple addition completely changed my business.

The moment I started offering branded coconuts, the experience became more than just a drink—it became something people wanted to photograph, share, and remember. Almost every customer pulls out their phone before they take the first sip.

For a guy who has spent $0 on advertising, that's been priceless.

Looking back, I wish I'd used branding irons when I owned my restaurant. Th

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