09/04/2026
🐔 **THEY BEGGED FOR CHILDREN. THEN THE CHILDREN ARRIVED.** 🐥😂
For FOUR MONTHS, four of our first-time broody hens have been absolutely determined to become mothers.
Four hens. Four months.
I tried repeatedly to break them from being broody. I removed them from nests. I encouraged them to go live their lives. Scratch for bugs. Take a dirt bath. Hang out with friends. Enjoy their youth. I locked them in coop and run 3 times with no nesting boxes or special amenities to try to break them.
I even explained that this farm does NOT currently need any more chicks.
They refused to listen.
These women wanted BABIES.
They sat on empty nests with the determination of four women whose biological clocks were ticking so loudly the entire barnyard could hear them.
Finally, they wore me down.
Fine.
You want babies? **YOU’RE GETTING BABIES.**
So despite having absolutely ZERO desire to raise another batch of chicks right now, I bought 10 adorable Swedish Flower chicks—because if I’m going to be emotionally manipulated by poultry into purchasing more poultry, I might as well get something beautiful. 😂
Ten beautiful little children for my four desperately maternal hens.
That night, I waited until it was dark and carefully slipped the babies underneath them.
There was some confusion.
A few suspicious glances.
A definite *“I don't remember laying this many eggs…”* look.
But they tucked the babies underneath their feathers and everyone settled down.
I walked away feeling victorious.
**LOOK AT ME. MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE.** 🥹
Then morning came.
I opened their area so the proud new mothers could take their babies into the run and begin their beautiful journey of motherhood.
Except apparently…
**Motherhood looked a lot better on Pinterest.**
The second those chicks started following them, the hens were HORRIFIED.
They stared at them.
The chicks stared back.
The hens walked away.
The chicks followed.
The hens walked faster.
**The chicks followed faster.**
Within minutes, these four women were actively trying to ESCAPE THEIR OWN CHILDREN.
They looked at those chicks like I had released 10 tiny, fluffy gremlins into their home.
*“WHY ARE THEY FOLLOWING US?!”*
MA’AM.
BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER.
**YOU ASKED FOR THIS.**
FOR FOUR MONTHS.
Apparently my hens are the chicken equivalent of young adults who spend years saying, *“I can't WAIT to have kids!”* and then babysit somebody’s toddler for three hours and suddenly start researching child-free vacations. 😂
The maternal instinct had officially left the building.
So, unfortunately, **Chicken Protective Services had to be called.**
After a brief investigation, CPS determined that the biological mothers were unwilling to provide adequate supervision and were actively attempting to flee the scene.
The children were removed from their custody.
And because apparently I am their "next of kin", all 10 babies were placed with me.
So let’s recap:
The hens desperately wanted children.
I did not want children.
I bought them children.
They met the children.
They immediately regretted the children.
And now…
**I HAVE THE CHILDREN.**
The hens are currently outside enjoying their freedom, taking dirt baths, eating bugs and living their best child-free lives.
Meanwhile, I’m inside cleaning a brooder box, refilling chick food and water, and watching a heat lamp add a few extra dollars to my electric bill.
Congratulations, ladies.
You fought for motherhood for FOUR MONTHS, lasted approximately **one night**, and somehow managed to make Grandma raise the kids.
Honestly…
I’ve seen worse custody arrangements. 😂🐔🐥
