10/25/2024
It was 4 weeks ago yesterday that our divorce was final. Sitting up on the stand, under oath, by myself, though my tears, to say that… he doesn’t Love me anymore. 16 years of my life, gone, wasted, lies. It was all a lie. All of it. Everything he said, everything he did, all the promises, our past our future, our goals and dreams, our family, gone, lies. I have been living in a gaslit world for sometime now. I didn’t even realize.
Some days, I’m not sure I even know what is real anymore. Trust is something that I doubt I’ll ever have again. I trusted you. I gave you everything, my youth, my experiences, my home, my body, my love, our children. I told you all my secrets and all my dreams. You said forever, but that was a lie.
After you sent me a text saying our marriage was over while I was out of state with my family; you were the absolute most cruelest and heartless person I have ever met. You told me you hated me. You said you have hated me for the past 7 years. Ever since we moved into this house.
You told me “Life is too short to spend the rest of it with you.” My world was crushed. I’m pretty sure it was a few weeks before I could even catch my breath again.
Everyday is a lie. I wake up and I have to constantly remind myself that you hate me, and have for a while now. That we aren’t married anymore. It’s like 50 first dates, but with the opposite video.
Every I love you, every touch, every kiss, every conversation. It was all a lie. It was all fake. All of it. I’m not sure how I could be so blind. You are such a good liar. I realize I’m no angel, but I didn’t deserve for you to crush my world.
Maybe it was my love for you. Or my loyalty. Either way, none of it matters anymore.
Everyday since June I have cried. I keep going over and over our past on my head…. Trying to figure out when and where. You fell out of love with me and filled that love with hate.
I have been in some dark places before, but this is the worst. This divorce has almost killed me. It still might. The only thing I got out of the divorce was my car and my little shanty by the creek. No alimony, no child support. I feel like the dumbest woman on the planet these days.
So, I still live here with you, King Liar, in our house of divorce. Sleeping next to the enemy, in our marital bed of lies and deceit.
I never had a baby shower for any of my children, I never had a bridal shower for my marriage. What I would like is a divorce party! 🎉🥂🎁
Friends, I’m asking for you to buy me a drink🥂, just like you would any random stranger in celebration, except I’m going to use it to help buy the building supplies I need to finish the house, so the kids and I can move.
Possibly hire a contractor, even though my ex husband has been a contractor for 30+ years, and he said he would help me fix the place so the kids and I could move. That help comes few and far between.
So If you have any spare change… please help! Buy a drink, buy a board, or a sheet of drywall. That would be the best divorce celebration gift 🎁 I could ever receive. $5.00 towards a new window, 1100 sq ft of flooring, or the mini split the house needs.
If you think this is ridiculous, I agree with you! If we’re friends and you happen to see me in public, a hug would be nice. 💔
I have Venmo, PayPal, Facebook pay, or if you want to send me a card to cheer me up, P. O. Box 403, Fredericktown, MO 63645
Love to all!
Also, if you have any advice, books, movies, a song or a really great local therapist, please let me know. I have to heal from this and I’m in the darkest depths of the tunnel.
https://venmo.com/u/Melissa-Deakins-3
PayPal- [email protected]
Or [email protected]
Hopefully one of those will work.
Thanks for the drink!🍺 ❤️
Venmo is a digital wallet that lets you make and share payments with friends. You can easily split the bill, cab fare, or much more. Download the iOS or Android app or sign up on Venmo.com today.
