06/15/2026
You saw me on the warm stones and screamed. I was the best pest control you had.
You found me sunning on your garden wall. Someone went for a shovel. I tried to leave — they were faster.
I am a common garter snake, and I was working for you. The slugs that shred your hostas, the grubs chewing your roots, the beetles and cutworms in the vegetable beds — I hunt all of them, every day, for free.
Look at me before you decide what I am. Three yellow stripes running the length of an olive-brown body. Round pupils. A narrow head no wider than my neck. No fangs. No venom that can hurt you. I am one of the most harmless animals in your entire yard.
When something startles me I might release a little musk, or bluff with a raised head. That is the whole arsenal. I have nothing else, and I never needed anything else.
Leave me the stone wall and the leaf piles. I will keep the garden from being eaten alive.
