10/10/2026
Despite doing everything I possibly could in the short amount of time I had to save Penny, we still lost her this evening. š
She grazed her little heart out this summer, her very first grazing season, and she was such a sweet soul.
What Iām struggling with most is that we just did herd health checks yesterday. Penny was perfectly healthy. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that less than 24 hours later, she would be gone.
And thatās the part that is tearing me apart.
I keep replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out what I missed. Was there something I should have noticed? Something I could have done differently? Could I have prevented this? And perhaps what scares me even more is wondering if thereās something Iām overlooking with the rest of my herd.
In a matter of hours, I feel like Iāve lost every ounce of confidence I had in my ability to care for these animals. I know how much time, effort, love, and attention I pour into their well-being, but losing one so suddenly makes you question absolutely everything.
I kissed Penny on the head a million times today. And when I knew there was nothing more I could do but pray, I made sure her daughter had some time with her, too.
After she passed, I carried her out of the pasture, telling her over and over how much we loved her.
These animals are so much more than just goats and sheep to us. We know their personalities, their quirks, their friendships, and their routines. We celebrate their little victories, worry when something seems off, and do everything in our power to give them the best lives possible.
But sometimes, even when you give them everything you have, you still lose them.
And today, that hurts more than I can put into words.
Rest easy, sweet Penny. You were so loved. And I hope you knew that right up until the very end. š