09/28/2026
Hey Wanks! This is INUENDO, the most recently erected, Hash Scribe for Groton. What is a Hash Scribe, you ask? It means I'm responsible for writing up the details of shenanigans on trail, called HASH TRASH! In other words, I write "almost" everything you missed out on if you decided to do other Muggle-like things - boo! And if you did, cum, yay! You'll understand the inuendos and inside jokes a lot more!
Here's the HASH TRASH from Trail #412
🍺 NO STO B**R AND FARM TOUR 🍺
Hares: Mighty Eskihoo & Just Greg
Promised miles: 4.69
Actual miles: We should have trained.
B**r stops promised: 6
B**r stops achieved: 6
Dammmmmn. On-On!
The hash began at the North Stonington Educational Center, where the Hares were given a generous ten-minute head start and promptly disappeared.
Whether they were laying trail live… or had pre-laid it so they could get laid on trail remains an open question. 😂
Trail took us through cemeteries, farms, gardens, bridges, fields, questionable intersections and at least one location that made us wonder if the Hares had simply stopped caring about our survival.
We encountered a suspicious roadside police scene, discovered some Grade-A Trail Treasure, got thoroughly screwed by an intersection, and eventually stumbled into B**R STOP #1.
From there it was b**r, snacks, b**b jobs?, flowers, giant grasshoppers, mysterious plant pods, questionable song checks and enough cheese sticks to sustain a small army.
At B**r Stop #2, more Hashers joined the fun. Someone produced an ID belonging to someone else. Someone else ate an entire eight-serving candy bar without apparently noticing the “eight servings” part.
Naturally, we carried on.
We wandered through Hewitt Farm, where the hash gods demanded songs, more b**b talk, and B**r Stop #3.
Then came B**r Stop #4, where we were almost Shunooked.
A tiny little trail mark told us to KEEP GOING.
There was a perfectly good brewery sitting RIGHT THERE.
We listened to the tiny mark.
We left.
The Muggles on the porch were understandably confused by our decision-making abilities.
Eventually we found ourselves at the Tin Peddler, followed by an F Stop involving FUDGE NEAR, shots, and some questionable botanical activities.
And along the way..
WE PASSED A S*X SHOP.
Did we stop?
NO.
BOOOOOOO, HARES. 🍆
By the end, the Hash had devolved into two competing strategies:
Follow trail like obedient little Hashers.
—or—
Look at where the cars are and drive there.
Guess which group got to the brewery first. 😏
Final Circle.
B**r.
Pizza.
Six promised b**r stops.
Six actual b**r stops.
Dammmmmn.
No s*x shop stop.
But there was Fudge!
ON-ON! 🍺🍺🍺
