01/09/2025
How to handle your fear with horses
As a horsemanship instructor, one of the hardest things to handle is fear in the rider. I found time and a again with fearful riders no matter how much I teach, no matter how many skills they learn, the fear is still there. Because of that problem I went to school to become a life coach. I knew how to handle issues with horses but wanted to know how to help people better. I learned how to coach people out of their fear. But fear has its purpose. In life coaching we learned how to deal with fear like stage fright or other situations that maybe scarey but are not dangerous. I did feel comfortable taking away someone's fear when it might be keeping them safe. You should feel fear when you do not have the knowledge or skill to handle a dangerous situation. You should honor that fear and not put yourself in that situation. But how do you know if it is an irrational fear that is holding you back or a real fear keeping you safe?
I came up with 3 questions to ask yourself when you feel fear.
1. Do I have the knowledge and skills to try?
2. Does my horse have the knowledge and skill to try?
3. Is this in our best interest?
If the answer is no to any of these questions, don't do it. If you do not have the knowledge or skills to try, break it down in to smaller steps. Work on the components. Do it at a slower speed or smaller area, or hire than instructor to help. You may need to learn the skill on a different horse. A good lesson horse can help you gain confidence before trying on your horse.
If your horse doesn't have the knowledge or skills to try again break it down. Teach the components. Slow things down or work in a smaller area. You may need to hire a trainer to teach the horse.
If it is not in you best interest don't do it. I am afraid of skydiving. It is not in my best interest to skydive so I am not going to do it. I know and like my reasons for believing skydiving is not im my best interest. You may believe skydiving is in your best interest. Just know and like your reasons. I also believe trail riding in the mountains alone is not in my best interest that is something I choose not to do. There are no right or wrong decisions just know and like your reasons.
If you answer yes to all 3 questions then we can try. Learn how to "feel the fear and do it anyway." What does fear feel like to you? Describe the sensations you feel when you are afraid. For me I feel it in my stomach. From mild butterflies to nauseous depending on how strong the fear is. I also feel a buzzing in my chest and want to back away. But let's look at excitement. I feel butterflies in my stomach and a buzzing in my chest and want to move forward. The sensations are very similar. I can ride with excitement so I can ride with sensation fear. I don't like the feeling in my stomach when I am hungry but I can ride with that too (never ride hangry though, we tend to not be fair when hangry 😊)
So let's look at what thoughts you have when you feel fear. We tend to imagine the worst case scinarios. It is good to know what that is when you are asking yourself the 3 questions. But if you have decided to try the you need to change your thinking and see you and your horse doing well. Imagine the best case scenario. Hold that in you mind, relax, and breathe.
Enjoy the ride!
