Bass Hill Beef

11/27/2024

06/24/2024

Gather round for another rendition of BRAUN RANCH KITCHEN TABLE !!!

Well it’s been a hot minute since I was able to post, mostly because work is getting in the way of my internet story posting. Haha
Well its officially summer and summer vacation has started. Holly thought it would be a good idea to make all the kids chore sheets to earn “technology time” IE TV or computer privileges. Now this is an amazing idea and the kids have been thriving on it. So much that Weston has decided he needs to vacuum at 6:30 am before his brothers are up so he can use his computer. He has really embraced the concept of you earn your reward….. so much so he is making Holly and I look like slackers, but hey we can’t complain if he wants to stack and empty the dishwasher twice a day. Brooks on the other hand chooses violence and Cash chooses to rely on his good looks and charm to get their way. Cash’s best line of the summer so far has been “You’re wrong mom, but that’s ok” ….. I tried that line once…. Didn’t end well for me, but for some reason he gets away with it.
The boys, being boys have come home with numerous pets. FRED the painted turtle was “rescued” from the middle of the road. By rescued I mean he likely couldn’t run back to the ditch fast enough once the kids spotted him, but they were doing a heroic deed. Holly was at the neighbors when this happened and got a call on Alexa notifying her of their gallantry. By the time she got home they had already found a large storage bin, emptied it, filled it with water and a log and were trying to feed it the left over worms from fishing the weekend prior. Good on them for being loving. However they can’t leave well enough alone and wanted to play with their new friend. They took turns giving him bike rides (imagine 3 shirtless kids riding bikes in the driveway cradling a turtle under their arm. By the time I got home from work around 6 they had graduated to the trampoline and were trying to show all their tricks. Pretty sure Fred was trying to commit su***de by this point as I have never seen a turtle move so fast towards the edge of that trampoline, but the boys never let him fall. After supper I informed them that Fred the turtle likely had a family and needed to get back to them. They all agreed that he needed to get let go and picked the old heifer pond to release him. Holly drove the boys and Fred over to the pond, stopping every 1/3 of the way so all the boys could hold him one last time before they let him go again. I bet no one is the turtle community is going to believe Fred thought when he tells them about the past 24 hours when he was abducted by giants……
The Fish….. So Brooks wanted a pet really bad, apparently the dog wasn’t cutting it, so we had a soft spot one day and let Brooks get a fish. Grandma Farmer had an old fish tank so we though what the heck can a $3 gold fish hurt. Well turns out Holly ended up buying a $25 blue alien betta fighting fish that can’t have friends cause he will kill them….. naturally this made sense right????? Well at least it came with a 30 day guarantee he would live…. But they don’t know my kids. The first night Brooks got it stuck in the aerator…..its exactly how you would picture it. The best was when Holly and I were doing chores we get a call from Brooks, asking if he can take a bath…. With his fish….Now naturally I was impressed and a little touched that he wanted to just play with this new pet, but I told him dude, fish eat worms and your worm is going to be hanging out….so that ended that.
Other things we discovered is that Holly loves Micro fiber towels, its what she wants for Christmas!!! Kidding if you want to see a woman run just ask her to fold one!

Cash has had some really good one liners these past few weeks. He is 6 and still not scared to say what is on his mind and let the world know what he is doing. Pooping with the door open is a like a badge of honor in our house apparently. We walked in the other night and Cash was in my bathroom and we asked him to pinch it off and get back outside. He calming looked at me and said “I haven’t dropped a log off yet…..” Thank goodness he didn’t ask for a book like the older two they will be in their for hours. Good lord can you image once they get phones!
We actually had a good dinner table one tonight. We were eating brats and potato salad for dinner, two non-spicy foods mind you, when cash wanted to be done with dinner as his other brothers were already done. He took a bite of his potato salad and said Mom I can’t eat this is spicy. This is the go to if he doesn’t want to eat something. Holly kindly informed him that it was not spicy and he should return to the table and finish his meal. This is when he said the line where I know he is my kid….. “You know what’s Spicy???? You Mom” and runs way. Holly just stood there for a minute trying not to laugh out loud and looks at me with that “you’re responsible for this behavior look”…. But this story get better! After dinner all the kids were rough housing in Weston’s room where Weston was giving a wrestling clinic. I went in to quell the storm before someone got put in the wall, but when I was leaving you hear Cash say, “New Rules NO BALL SHOTS or HEADSHOTS” then someone shots out BALLS OF FURY and the wrestling begins all over again……

Well until next time (I’ll try and get these stories out a little more often) remember to EAT BEEF, support local and thank your farmers!
As a friendly reminder Bass Hill Beef will be butchering again in November so be sure to get your beef reserved today!!!
God Bless – JJ, Holly, the Boys and Bailey the dog!

04/08/2024

Gotta love MUD season here on the Bass Hill Beef Ranch. Pretty sure cows look for the crappiest place to have a baby just so they can laugh at us trudging through the muck to get to their babies. So far so good this year with over 35 on the ground.

These beefers will be for the 2025 herd.

2024 butcher dates are in June and November this year so make sure you get on the calendar!!We still have slots available!

02/18/2024

Gather Round the table for another episode of Braun Ranch Kitchen Table Stories!!!
I have been under the weather this past week so this episode will dive into the past couple weeks of unusual pets, what happens when you touch a caterpillar and of course some flatulent updates.

So since we have Boys, they REALLY like food. Not sure if my income is big enough to keep up with them somedays with the price of food. Luckily we run our own farm to table beef business to help off set that. Sometimes they grow attracted to their food. After supper the other week, Cash took a hand crocheted hot pad from the dinner table and made it into a sleeping bag for his “pet” tater tot TOTTY. He went as far as putting the tater tot to bed in a toy that was shaped like a pet cage that came with a stuff animal. Anyway he wakes up in he morning and luckily the tater is still in bed and he heads off to school. Well apparently no one told the dog that TOTTY was a off limits and as Holly is walking by the bathroom sees the dog eating something and wonders, what did she get into now……. RIP TOTTY, I am sure you were delicious even without ketchup. Luckily when Cash got home, he had already forgotten about his pet and moved on with life as did Totty, who is now a turd.

Caterpillars and pimples…. So Brooks was helping me in the shop the other night build his “Invention” for the invention fair this week. He wanted to build a self feeding cat feeder that would shoot out treats when you stepped on a button….. so essentially a cat food tank. Let’s just say we channeled that creative spirit to help with a common chore and build a chicken feeder that would solve his problem of hating to do chicken chores. Brooks is a great helper in the shop. He helped be switch out clutch rollers on the UTV and was really hands on building his invention. I think he just likes to stoke the wood burner in the shop, but hey I will take it. I really go slow to explain things and let him pick out the tools he thinks we should use. It gives us some good father son time. Anyway I ended up dropping a bolt on the floor and asked Brooks to pick up. Well the bolt fell by one of those fuzzy black and orange caterpillars. I said HEY Brooks why won’t you pick up that caterpillar? He looked at me with a fear in his eyes and said absolutely not, they give you pimples. (I chuckled) and said WHAT? They do not. I vividly remember picking these up as a kid and even throwing them. He then said he picked one up once and it gave me a pimple. I let it go and was telling Holly the story hoping to get a chuckle, and she said he is right they can give you a rash…. Guess I am not as smart as a third grader after all…… but I am still not scared of a caterpillar.

While we were in the shop, Brooks said on multiple occasions, Man what stinks in here? I didn’t really notice at first and was like maybe its some brake clean I was using. It wasn’t until he was right next to me and asked again, man what stinks, dad did you fart? and I said No. (I would totally claim it). It wasn’t until I looked at him and he had that s**t eating grin that he was trying to high that I found out he had been dropping butt bombs around me all night trying to blame it on me. I got to give him a little credit for his creativity. Apparently, Cash and Brooks have an on going battle on who is the King of Farts in our house. It is usually a weekly occurrence where they try to out Doo doo I mean dual each other. They will run into the room drop one and then run out yelling I AM THE KING OF FARTS leaving the other one to conjure up a comeback. It gets a little dicey sometimes and I am thankful Holly does the laundry.
Well that’s enough for this episode. Remember eat BEEF, and buy local. We are praying for ya!
-The Braun Clan

01/25/2024

Gather round Y'all its time for another episode of Braun Ranch Kitchen Table!

Well I have been on the road lately so Holly Braun has had to hold down the fort for us here on the farm. I think the stress is getting to her though (and I can't blame her, she is a saint) but tonight when putting the kids to bed her bedtime message, which was said in a loving voice, was "Good Night, I love you, now getting your butt into bed before I beat you" ...... IYKYK with kids....

I made the mistake this month of letting the kids have my old sound machine. It is a small white box that produces a variety of noises to help you sleep. Well one of the sounds is birds chirping. Now they don't play this on low volume mind you, and it sounds like we are living in an aviary (look that up for your word of the day....) until around 9 PM when they finally fall asleep. The chirping is about enough to drive ya nuts, but if you try to unplug it before they fall asleep you may lose and arm.

Onto the "sliver story"..... on a random Sunday afternoon (I was gone) I was on the phone with Holly and all 3 boys were reading a book in Weston's room when Cash comes running out screaming "I have something stuck in my butt".... Now this phase could go a number of different ways..... but luckily after a little investigating it turned out he got a sliver in his butt cheek from a board on Weston's bed. Well fast forward to full sprawl on the kitchen table and a little needle work by Dr. Holly and Cash was as good as new again.

"I Ripped One" ....... Cash now has to announce every time he breaks wind in the house by explaining to the room that he just "ripped one".....if he knows you heard it, he will turn look at you and smile and say "I just ripped a BIG ONE" ..... yeah I know buddy I heard it.....and I am just praying I don't smell it.

Our dog Bailey likes to get in on the action too apparently. Holly was picking her up the other night to put her in the large chair with me (she is old and her back legs sometimes don't allow her to jump up on the chair anymore. Its her favorite place to be when I am sitting in it and I love it too.....Every time I come home and sit in the chair Bailey will be right there waiting to get up, snuggle up and fall asleep. Its the simple things in life that give ya a full heart...... anyway back to farting.... well this time Holly squeezed a toot our of her and if you have ever smelled dog farts..... they put little boy farts to shame. Holly didn't miss a beat here though, she put her in the chair with me and walks away. Thanks babe.....

The dog was also dropping butt bombs the other night in her sleep. Cash was sitting next to be in the chair when he loudly exclaims, Stop Farting Bailey..... Bailey must of got the message as she woke up and walked to the other side of the room. I would advise he sleep with one eye open as she may want to get revenge for yelling at her.

Well that's enough for this week! Stay tuned for more episodes and remember EAT BEEF. We don't do chores in negative -20 degree temps so you can eat a salad and be sure to get on the Bass Hill Beef butchering schedule for for June or November.

01/01/2024

Braun Ranch Kitchen Table: Holiday Edition

Well it's been an eventful holiday break for the kiddos. Santa did not disappoint, we had a lot of fun, some travel and a lot of laughs.

The shenanigans started already on Christmas Eve while attending church. We are bad Catholics and doubled up on Sunday Mass and Christmas Eve mass so we only had to go to church once. Apparently god didn’t like it and sent down his displeasure through the sound of Brook’s butt trumpet. While kneeling and the entire church was silent in prayer, Brooks let out a good old fashion Brooks toot. What made it worse was that his butt was leaning against the pew behind him which just reverberated the sound. Hallelujah! My dad instincts immediately kicked in and my hand came up and gave him a nice thud on the back. The best part was the guy immediately behind him trying his hardest not to laugh, likely along with everyone else in church as that sucker was not silent.

On the way home I had likely the best dad joke of the year. It was pouring out rain and the kids were looking for Santa’s sleigh in the sky. When Weston goes Dad, I saw a deer in the field over there….. My immediate comeback was …. “Was it a RAIN-deer?” (You can insert your own Holly Braun eye roll into the story) I was pretty proud of myself for that one and dreamed of accepting the best dad joke of the year award as I drifted off to sleep.

Christmas day saw the kids up at 2 AM, 4, AM & 6 AM and Holly made them all go back to bed. I woke up at 7:45AM and came up the stairs to see no one out of bed…..Sleeping in was the best Christmas gift ever. Anyway at 8 AM they are up and presents are opened. The big present this year was a real wrestling mat since all three kids are wrestling. (It was going to hard to top mini-bikes for their birthdays) Our basement is now the scene of a WWE cage match on a daily basis mixed in with some skills training. Holly likes it for working out too so its dual purpose. :)

Weston went to Junior Holstein Convention over in Fond du lac for a couple days with his 4-H group. We allowed him to take one of our spare cell phones (wi-fi only) in case he needed to get a hold of us at the hotel. Well being the young man he is, he did call us……. From the toilet……because he is a guy and sitting on the can with the cell phone is what we do…. IFYKYK…… Anyway he also called the grandmas from the can as well, likely just to tell them he was now a man.

Well that’s enough for this post. Remember, EAT BEEF, and be sure to get on next year’s Bass Hill Beefs butchering schedule! We are only butchering twice next year in June and Nov, so get a slot while they are still available.

12/05/2023

Guess who finally got their website back online.....
https://basshillbeef.square.site/

12/01/2023

Well it's approaching the end of the year and Bass Hill Beef has 1 steer left to go into the butcher at the 2023 price.

Due to some recent off the ranch work changes we are moving to only butchering twice a year (June and November)
***So if you need beef before June you better reach out ASAP to jump on this final steer ;) ***

However if you are good on beef but wanna get on the schedule for 2024 we are taking slots already! Prices for 2024 will be $4.43/lb Hanging Weight and that already includes your processing charge and a special Bass Hill Beef gift!

***We also have you covered for Christmas with Bass Hill Beef gift boxes for $100 and $200.***

09/10/2023

When you're doing chores on the farm and look up and see your youngest child going down the road in the back of a wagon without pants on being pulled by grandpa....... and your main question is hmmmm wonder where he picked him up at. Haha

09/07/2023

Bass Hill Beef is PIG PIMPIN' this fall as we have 4 walking bacon makers that we need to sell.
***These are first come first serve***
Cost is $225 for a half hog and $425 for a full hog.
We will deliver your HOG (or half hog) to Solar Meats in Soldiers Grove, slap it on the butt for good luck, help coordinate your cut sheet and potentially delivery if we are making a run your way.
Since their are so many ways to process pork (As Snoop Dog would say.....to SMOKE or not to SMOKE that is the question) You will be responsible for the processing charges depending on your preferences. IN all seriousness, they have like 30 different flavors of brats and that's a lot of pressure to choose what I think you would like!
So drop us a message and we will be sure to get your name on the list!!!

08/26/2023

The Bass Hill Beef Meat Wagon is making is pilgrimage east, so place your orders for free delivery!!

We will be in Madison at 9 am and in Waukesha at 10am on Sunday 8/27 ..... I know its short notice but what you expect from a dude that work two jobs and has 2 kids in sports 3 days a week..... haha

We are fully stocked with individual cuts for customized bundles, $100 boxes and we even have (2) 1/4 beef on hand for immediate delivery!

And before you all ask - Yes that is me photo-shopped on a dude riding a cow!