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Angry Goat Ranch, 1329 Ginder Road NW, Lancaster, OH (2026)

04/16/2024

Angry Goat Ranch cordially welcomes Queens Bee-yoncé & Bee-atrice and their respective colonies to the farm! 🌸👑🐝🍯🐝👑🌸

06/16/2021

Funny farm, co-captains log, day 750:

Rosie got her head stuck in the fence.

Lily (Rosie & Tulip's mom) completely lost her marbles over Rosie's predicament. She's a good mom, but needs to calm down in cases of crisis.

Tulip laughed at her sister and I swear said "dum dum".

Luna (head barn kitty) supervised the head extraction from the nearest fence post.

Cleo (barn kitty Vice President, Luna's oldest daughter & the only cat in the history of cats that Brian likes) supervised from Julia's back.

Julia (neurotic, humming, human kissing llama/alpaca mix) sang me the song of her people while I wiggled Rosie's horns out of the fence.

Fiona (fluffy, gray princess mini goat) was a backseat driver throughout the ordeal and bleated useless information at me.

Ella (chocolate milk colored boujee goat who knows 2 English words- dad and mad) screamed for dad that she was mad.

Libby & Lucy (cow spotted twin baby goats, Mama's daughters) attempted to assist and Lucy got her head stuck next to Rosie for her efforts.

Scarlett bit me (cranky brown goat with the black Mohawk).

Reggie (boy llama), Billy (luscious haired Fabio of goats), Gizmo (all black goat with giant horns and good manners), and Brownie (the failed 4H goat no one could bear to sell) all lined up on the boy goats side and watched. If they'd have had popcorn, they'd have been munching it.

Mama (Libby and Lucy's inattentive, baby abandoning mom), Thor (Mama's oldest son who she favors above all else), Alex (Luna's oldest son who has an inappropriate interest with his youngest sister) and Biscuit (Luna’s socially awkward youngest daughter and the object of Alex’s infatuation) had zero cares to give and were of no help at all.

The cows (all 3) said not their pasture, not their bull crap and snuck off to take naps in the goats' house.

The kids all splashed merrily away in the pool with no clue whatsoever as to the barnyard drama.

PSA: the goats were successfully freed from the fence and all our furry barn friends are presently happily grazing away in their fields. No goats, llamas, cows or barn kitties were harmed or otherwise inconvenienced as a result of this post.

Happy Wednesday!