03/06/2023
GreenTeaHP and Thermogenique weekly horoscopes
for each zodiac sign:
this week we're focusing
on Love, Intimacy, and Health.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19):
Love: Surprise your partner this week with a thoughtful gesture, like a bouquet of flowers or a home-cooked meal. Just make sure you don't accidentally burn the house down in the process. Intimacy: Your energy levels are through the roof this week, so channel that into some steamy bedroom shenanigans. Just don't break the bed frame. Health: Remember to sit up straight this week, or you'll end up looking like a human question mark.
Ta**us (Apr 20 - May 20):
Love: Don't be afraid to get a little cheesy with your partner this week. Write them a love poem or sing them a love song, even if your voice sounds like a dying cat. Intimacy: Slow and sensual is the way to go this week, like a sloth in the bedroom. Take your time and enjoy the moment. Health: Stretch it out this week like a yogi. Just don't accidentally fall over and knock over your house plants.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20):
Love: Your charm is at an all-time high this week, like a snake oil salesman. Use it to woo your partner and make them feel special. Intimacy: Try something new and exciting in the bedroom this week, like a trapeze act. Just make sure you have a good grip. Health: Take breaks throughout the day to stretch your legs and get some fresh air, or you'll end up looking like a human pretzel.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22):
Love: Get emotional with your partner this week, like a soap opera star. Share your feelings openly and honestly, even if you end up crying like a baby. Intimacy: Let your intuition guide you this week, like a psychic. Just don't predict that your partner will fall asleep halfway through. Health: Drink plenty of water this week, with your favorite GreenTeaHP flavor, or you'll end up looking like a dried-out prune.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22):
Love: Show off your confidence this week, like a peacock in mating season. Use it to make your partner feel loved and adored, even if you accidentally strut into a wall. Intimacy: Bring the heat and intensity this week, like a volcano. Just make sure you don't erupt too soon. Health: Take care of yourself this week, like a pampered house cat. Treat yourself to a massage or a bubble bath, even if you end up getting stuck in the bubbles.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22):
Love: Pay attention to the little things this week, like a detective. Show your partner how much you appreciate them with small gestures of love, even if you end up accidentally snooping through their phone. Intimacy: Take your time and enjoy every moment this week, like a snail. Slow and steady wins the race, even if it takes all night. Health: Take breaks throughout the day to stretch and move your body, like a yoga instructor. Just don't accidentally fall into a tree pose during a meeting.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22):
Love: Find a compromise with your partner this week, like a politician. Work together to find a solution that works for both of you, even if it involves some minor bribes. Intimacy: Embrace balance and harmony in the bedroom this week, like a yin-yang symbol. Explore your desires with your partner and find a way to satisfy both of your needs, even if it involves some awkward positions. Health: Get some rest tonight, like a hibernating bear. Your body needs time to recover and recharge, even if you end up snoring like a grizzly.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21):
Love: Show your passion and intensity this week, like a fire-breathing dragon. Let your partner know how much you desire them and don't be afraid to get a little wild. Intimacy: Take control in the bedroom this week, like a do******ix. Assert your desires and show your partner who's boss, even if it involves some handcuffs. Health: Make sure to take care of your mental health this week, like a therapist. Take some time for yourself to relax and recharge, even if it means binge-watching your favorite show.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):
Love: Embrace your adventurous spirit this week, like a pirate. Plan a fun and exciting date with your partner, even if it involves some high-seas hijinks. Intimacy: Explore new territory in the bedroom this week, like an astronaut. Experiment with new positions and fantasies, even if it feels like you're in zero gravity. Health: Get moving this week like a marathon runner. Take a long hike or go for a jog to get your blood pumping, even if you end up looking like a hot mess.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19):
Love: Show your practical and dependable side this week, like an accountant. Make your partner feel secure and loved with acts of kindness and reliability, even if it involves balancing the budget. Intimacy: Take things slow and steady in the bedroom this week, like a tortoise. Focus on building Intimacy and connection with your partner, even if it means taking your time. Health: Don't forget to eat your veggies this week, like a rabbit. Fuel your body with healthy and nutritious foods, even if it means saying no to that extra slice of pizza.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18):
Love: Embrace your unique and unconventional side this week, like a mad scientist. Surprise your partner with a quirky and creative gesture of love, even if it involves a homemade experiment. Intimacy: Let your imagination run wild in the bedroom this week, like a fantasy novelist. Explore your deepest desires and fantasies with your partner, even if it involves some strange props. Health: Take care of your mental health this week, like a counselor. Practice mindfulness and meditation to keep your mind clear and calm, even if it means humming like a monk.
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20):
Love: Embrace your sensitive and romantic side this week, like a poet. Express your emotions and feelings to your partner in a heartfelt and poetic way, even if it involves some tears. Intimacy: Surrender yourself to the moment in the bedroom this week, like a leaf floating in a river. Let go of your inhibitions and allow yourself to be completely present with your partner, even if it means giggling uncontrollably. Health: Take care of your spiritual health this week, like a monk. Practice gratitude and introspection to connect with your inner self, even if it means grunting like a baboon.
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on your weekly horoscope?
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found in GreenTeaHP
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_________________________
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