06/11/2026
Long, vulnerable post ahead- but one that speaks to the heart of why Southern STARRS exists. While much of what we share is equine‑focused, our mission has always been centered on people: children, adults, and veterans with mental and physical disabilities who benefit from the healing partnership between human and horse. Today, I want to talk about the mental side of that healing, and how my own journey reminded me why this work matters so deeply.
Back in 2019, life was so much easier. I had so much more time for me. I used to dedicate an hour a few nights a week to just relax my mind and meditate.
My job was a little stressful, but at night, I was able to relax and shut it all off. I would turn the lights off, play classical piano music on the Alexa, by my favorite pianist- Riopy- and just chill.
Listening to the piano reminded me of being 5, at my great grandmother's house, family around, all 7 of my siblings, 15 cousins, laughing, playing, my great grandmother, grandmother, mom, and aunts taking turns playing my great grandmother's piano she inherited from her mom, who purchased it in the late 1800's. (My mom has the piano now, and while not all the keys work, and its way out of tune, it holds precious family memories.)
One night, while listening to Riopy, a new song came on, it was actually by a different artist- Ludovico Einaudi called "Nuvole Bianche". I told myself I HAD to learn to play it. Something about that song had me sitting on my great grandmothers day bed, in the "damn port room" (which, I learned around age 24, its actually called a 'Davenport room') coloring with my cousins and siblings and my elders standing around the piano as my great grandmother played.
2020 hit- we all know the stress, and I said "Its now or never". I hinted to my husband that I was very interested in learning to play the piano, and on a Costco trip one day in November 2020, I walked by a keyboard. I stopped, thought about buying it, then walked on. At the end of my shopping, I had forgot something and had to pass by the keyboard again. I stopped again. Pulled out my phone, called my husband told him I was buying it.
"NO! That was going to be your Christmas present!"
"Well honey, I guess Christmas is coming early for me this year."
It was about 8 pm at night when I had it set up. I spent 4 hours trying to go through the tutorial of learning the keys and trying to learn how to read sheet music.
Frustrated, I turned the keyboard off for the night.
I contacted a lady in my neighborhood for lessons. Our schedules wouldnt line up for another month.
I'm sometimes impatient when waiting on other people, and knew there was another way to learn to play. I can always learn the keys later.....
So I decided to youtube "Piano tutorial for Nuvole Bianche".
There it was. A video highlighting what keys to push.
I began that day, and dedicating atleast 1 hour of practice/learning every night.
The lady I had scheduled a lesson with had to cancel and go out of town for 6 weeks to help care for her daughter and new grand baby.
3 months later, we never set up a new session. By then, I could play this song almost perfectly.
I taught myself another 6 songs by Riopy. By the end of 2021, I could play 7 full classical piano songs, and knew half of 6 other songs.
For the next 4 years, that is how I just let the problems, stress, worries, fears, anxiety, slip away.
My life over the last year has changed DRASTICALLY. I was let go due to workforce reduction, struggled to find a new job, my husband is in his 2nd layoff from workforce reduction- the 1st round he struggled to find a full time position for 2.5 years. (We are both in the tech industry.)
My current job duties are increasing, but the amount of time is...... not.
I am also the chair of my neighborhood social committee..... Which has been hard trying to replace me, but, I have found an option to help lighten my load quite a bit.... but... steps have to be taken and we are almost officially there so I have help.
For the last 6 months, I keep telling myself "sit down and play. Just a song. Step away, and just play". Day after day, when I decide to call it quits after spending hours at the barn doing hard, physical labor, spending time on the phone, in my car on the way home, amd at home, on the computer, in person meetings, teams/zoom meetings- playing the piano just hasn't been a priority.
I was up at 6:30 am today, and ended my final call at 9:36 pm.
My brain was FRIED. I hung up, 45 unread text messages still...... I put my head in my hands trying to organize my plan for tomorrow and Friday.
For the last few months, my dog LOVES jumping on my keyboard and turning it on and walking across the keys. Winston hopped up, the keyboard was already on from him playing earlier in the day, and he started walking back and forth on the keys. Then barked. Its 9:30 pm, there's no one walking outside for him to bark at this late at night. I looked over at him- he barked again, the keys played as he sat down, on the keyboard, and stared at me.
"Okay. Okay. I'll play."
I lit some candles, as I would "back in the day", turned the lights off, and played.
And the moment my fingers touched the keys, the tears came. Not from sadness, but from release. From finally giving myself permission to breathe. To slow down. To reconnect with something that brings me peace. It wasn’t perfect. It’s been six months. My fingers forgot a few parts. But it felt like coming home.
So here is your reminder: STOP. Make time for the thing that brings you back to yourself. The thing that quiets your mind, softens your shoulders, and lets you exhale.
And how does this tie into therapeutic riding?Because what I felt tonight, that grounding, that emotional release, that sense of reconnecting with myself, is exactly what so many of our riders experience when they’re with our horses. The arena becomes their safe place. Their breath returns. Their confidence grows. Their minds settle. Their hearts open. Healing doesn’t always look like medicine or milestones. Sometimes it looks like a piano. Sometimes it looks like a horse.
Maybe a combination of both.
And at Southern STARRS, we’re building something that brings those moments of healing to the people who need them most. Ideas are moving. Plans are forming. Beautiful things are ahead. I’m excited for the future, and I hope you are too.
