05/09/2026
Part 4: Flunking Out of Retirement
After my big win, I started to feel a bit unwell. It turns out I have a common disease called PPID, or Cushings disease. I think it is brought on by too much exercise. Really, that much exercise is counter-intuitive to a fat pony lifestyle.
Mom gave me some time off, and I went back to trail riding with dad. It was ok. Just kind of boring. Then my fox hunting club (Long Lake Hounds!) asked me to come back so I could help train up new horses. Oh boy! Those silly horses thought they needed to jig sideways, don’t they know that uses too much energy? I told them how to walk calmly until it is time to zoom. Mom said I didn’t need to zoom so much anymore, but I didn’t listen to her. I love fox hunting more than listening to mom.
I was pretty content with this life- it wasn’t too much work. And, despite my parents’ best intentions, I was growing fatter again. I have everyone pretty much trained as to how to best care for a performance fjord. Life was good.
Then mom goes and gets another wild hair. Now she thinks she wants to be a mounted steward at the Kentucky Three-Day Event! She puts me back into a fitness program, and starts making me do dressage again. She told me all of the top performance horses would be at this event, so I agreed to get fitter again. I didn’t want to be shown up by some thoroughbred.
Unfortunately, I had a lot of trouble losing weight. My feet started to hurt, and mom was really stressed out. We went to visit the vet, who gave me a pretty clean bill of health but agreed that I was flunking traditional weight loss management techniques. Well, duh. I am the Fabulous Fat Fjord. The vet put me on a new drug that I’m calling “Ole-Zempic.” I didn’t mind too much, it tastes like green apples and I really like apples (even if I never get them!).
Mom said she could tell I was feeling better almost immediately because I started to grab and fling things around the barn again. Nothing is safe from my big fat lips.