09/15/2026
36 YEARS TODAY ❤️
I’ve heard it said that the person you marry will determine 90% of your happiness.
When I first heard that, I didn’t think too much about it.
After 36 years of marriage to Donna, I understand it a whole lot better.
This is the second marriage for both of us. Looking back, I think knowing what you don’t want can be just as important as knowing what you do want.
There were two things I knew were must-haves for me.
First, a strong faith in God.
Second, someone I could trust.
Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of couples fall in lust instead of love. The problem is, when the lust leaves, sometimes the marriage goes with it.
So how do you figure out who someone really is before you marry them?
I think it comes down to one word:
Time.
I don’t think anyone should be thinking about marriage after only a few dates. Give it time. I’d say at least six months.
Eventually, the “warts” start to show.
How do they treat their family?
Do they have a temper?
Are they trustworthy?
Do they flirt with other people when they’re with you?
Are they moody?
Do their goals line up with yours?
Are they a saver or a spender?
Those things might not sound very romantic, but they’ll tell you a whole lot about the person you’re considering spending your life with.
After 36 years, I’ve also developed my own 1-to-10 rating system for a mate.
On my scale, physical beauty is worth three points.
Donna is a 3.
Before anybody gets me in trouble, let me explain. 😂
Three is the highest score you can possibly get for physical beauty.
The other seven points are for the soul.
Those seven points are the ones you can’t fully see when you first meet someone.
They’re revealed over time.
Her character.
Her faith.
Her loyalty.
Her heart.
How she treats people.
Who she is when nobody else is watching.
The way she loves.
Those seven points are what have made our love stronger over 36 years. The longer I’ve known Donna, the more I’ve come to appreciate the depth of who she is, and the more reasons I’ve found to love her.
At 81 years old, I think I understand something today that younger John didn’t fully understand:
The outside might be what first catches your eye. The soul is what gives you someone to love for a lifetime.
Happy 36th anniversary, Donna.
I love you.
John
P.S. To all the married couples following us, how many years have you been together? Put the number in the comments. I’d love to see who has us beat! Help us share our love story!
