05/31/2026
I hope my husband finds a girlfriend
I am married to an amazing man. We have a life I love. We have a beautiful home, we travel, we have great relationships with friends and family, and we both built careers we are proud of. About eighteen months ago, I started to develop a limp on my left side. I decided it was age related, so I committed to adding strength training to my workouts. I continued to get weaker, lost the ability to walk in heels, and started struggling to make it up stairs. My initial lab work was unremarkable, but X-rays and a MRI revealed spinal nerve compression. A neurologist confirmed the diagnosis with EMGs and nerve conduction studies. Even though I had no back pain, every physician I saw diagnosed me with spinal nerve compression.
I underwent a posterior lumbar fusion a year ago, but my symptoms worsened in the first few months after my surgery. My neurosurgeon ordered more imaging, which was inconclusive. I went back to the neurologist for more nerve studies, and he diagnosed me with worsening spinal nerve compression. I had several falls and became completely walker dependent. I underwent an anterior and posterior lumbar fusion to revise the first surgery, and the op note says the hardware had not properly set. Four days later, additional imaging revealed some small bone chips near my spinal nerve roots so I had a third surgery to revise the fusion again.
I never missed a physical therapy appointment and pushed myself to walk with my walker as much as I could. I was determined to regain the life I loved. Despite all of my efforts, I kept getting weaker and weaker. A new neurologist saw me in February, did a third set of nerve conduction studies, and diagnosed me with ALS.
My decline seems to be accelerating and my life expectancy is short. I am completely dependent on others for everything from meals to bathing. Most of the time, the burden falls to my husband. Throughout our entire marriage, he has been squeamish about sharing bathrooms. He firmly believes husbands and wives should have their own spaces for privacy. But, he now helps me to the restroom, cleans up my potty accidents, and helps me dress. I used to do almost all of the cooking, but he stepped up and makes sure we still eat home cooked meals. He continues to thrive at work, then he comes home and manages our home. He takes me places in my wheelchair, even when he is tired. He looks for every opportunity to fill our days with joy. I know he must be exhausted, but he does it all without complaining. I have never felt so loved. I knew he was a great man. I knew he was strong and loving. Now, I know he is a far better husband than I deserve.
He’s not perfect. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings. He doesn’t like to talk about other people’s feelings. His taste in music is questionable. He thinks camping is fun. He won’t buy new clothes for himself, so he needs someone to keep his wardrobe up-to-date.
I want him to have the beautiful and adventure-filled life we planned, even if I don’t get to share it with him. I hope the universe rewards him with a beautiful, kind, and fun loving woman who will care for him the same way he’s cared for me. He deserves nothing less.
Caesar salad and tortellini with sliced Italian sausage and marinara (he made it).
