06/14/2026
I spent this past week down at the beach for some desperately needed time alone with God and my grief. This past year has been so full of hurt and heartbreak, at times it seemed like the punches just kept coming, no matter how hard I struggled to get up. I have been drowning for weeks in the sorrow of losing my son, to the point that I couldn’t get through the days without crying. I have tried to stay busy, and take care of all the things that needed to be done since he went to Heaven, that I hadn’t even taken the time to grieve him and I have been drowning in sorrow.
I knew several months ago I needed to get away alone, away from all the noise and distractions, and just sit in my grief with God and let him comfort me. I just kept pushing it off until I was about to break inside.
I spent countless hours crying my broken heart out, and seeking him for answers, healing, and direction. The next two weeks are going to be hard on my family. We don’t just have one day that marks the “anniversary” of his passing, but two very traumatic days, that rocked us to the core, and broke us in ways we will never recover from.
June 19th is the day he attempted su***de. And June 30th we stood by his bedside and watched him pass away. It seems so long ago, and like yesterday at the same time. My tears are as fresh as they were on those fateful days, and have flowed constantly this past year. I know God sees them all and collects them, but oh how my heart is still so broken……None of it has healed in the past year and that’s ok. Grief is different for everyone, and I am just trying to get through it, but haven’t been able to get over any of it.
I miss his voice, his laughter, his crazy personality, and seeing him play and love on his daughter. She is becoming more like him everyday in her personality. She keeps us laughing even when the tears of sorrow run down our cheeks seeing glimpses of him in her. We are still so battered and bruised, aching in our own individual ways. They say time heals all wounds, just never how much time……my wounds are still so fresh, and not a day goes by that I don’t replay conversations with him, remember his funny personality, or replay the events of June 19th over and over again.
Please keep me and my family in your prayers over the next couple of weeks as we walk through those days in our minds again and again. We sure need them.
