PigWizard

06/25/2024

If wishes were real, I wish myself and friends to Ireland to day drink Guinness in a dark, moody pub (like ) to speak the unspeakable, grieve the un-grieved. Raise your glass and your hand to be included.

05/16/2023

If you are interested in taking over PigWizard, or need a place and equipment for your own meat magic, get in touch with me.

It had always been my hope that PigWizard would be so wildly successful that I would be able to sell, or give it to, the employees that built it. Alas, the Balrog of circumstance has coiled it’s whip around me and I must let go.

I lead the Fellowship of the Pig through the dark years of COVID, but I’m letting go and falling into the abyss now that they are safe enough.

“Fly, you fools…”

05/05/2023

Hail Mary play….anyone interested in paying an utterly absurd amount of money for a one of a kind, fabricated (not cast) copper octopus sculpture that I made? I turned down $30,000 that the city of Oceanside offered for it shortly after I finished it, so when I say absurd, I’m not kidding. All I want to do is pay my debts off and be a plumber or something that provides a steady paycheck, but the inability to do that and the complications of getting out of the food business is almost paralyzing. For someone as adaptable as I am, that’s hard to accept and admit.

Many of you have seen it at PigWizard over the last few years. I spent over 5 years on it in my early twenties, working on it during lunch breaks, late nights, and days off at a time in my life when I didn’t have a lot of hope for my future. I’ve looked at it lot over two decades to remind me what I’ve lived through, and it helps me remember what I have accomplished.

But at 45, I keep wondering if/when all of the effort I’ve put in and talent I apparently have and intelligence I was gifted with is going to translate into being able to consistently pay my bills on time.

I know I’m not alone in wondering this, many of my peers, friends and colleagues have the same question, and I have no expectation that life is remotely fair, but if hard work, talent and intelligence isn’t enough, what is? I read and listen to some of the “self-made, passive income hustlers” and wonder what alternate reality they live in, and how can I get a ticket.

Anyway, if you’ve got a spare $100k laying around, a guilty conscious, and a love of cephalopods, hit me up.

04/27/2023

Auctioning off this 3 year old Berkshire proscuitto from California Kurobuta MEAT CLUB on Instagram! Details at the link below.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Crg-9TNPytG/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

04/11/2023

Some of you didn’t come for your PRE-ordered porchetta sandwiches on Saturday. You can come by anytime this week and I will still make them for you.

Not unsurprisingly, we didn’t sell out either. I didn’t expect to, because I know how ridiculous a $30 sandwich is for most people. (Also, I can’t order a raw porchetta that exactly fits the number of pre-orders we got.)That’s why we closed. It’s simply not something that most people can accept, support or agree with. To those that did, my respect for you is cemented for life, but we all know it’s not possible to do this on a regular basis.

So, if you missed out, or want another one, come on by. $28.99 each until we run out.

I also have 2 out of 4 to give away, paid for by a generous customer that moved out of the area but wanted to support us. Those two went to customers that have been here week after week, despite it not being in their best interest financially, because they loved the food and believed in what we were doing. I’m open to suggestions as to how to allocate the other two.

As an aside, I lost 32 followers on Instagram on April Fool’s, and I’m sure I lost as many or more on other platforms and our email list. To those people, all I want to say is…

“Bye, Felicia.”

To everyone else, please keep supporting your neighbor’s small local businesses to the extent that you can. The stories I’m hearing from many other small business owners is not good.

04/04/2023

See ya’ll on Saturday for a porchetta sandwich! We went over the minimum, which surprises me more than you can imagine.

PRE-orders are still open at pigwizard.com until Thursday at midnight.

Once more into the breach!

04/03/2023

Maybe it’s time to do a podcast…’,cause selling food ain’t doing it. Not sure what kind of sponsors this message will get though.

04/01/2023

WE"RE COMING BACK!! Head over to PigWizard.com to PRE-order a porchetta sandwich for next Saturday, April 8th. Limited supply available! ONLY $28.99 each!! Yup, that’s right, just $28.99 for a single, juicy, crispy, one-of-a-kind sandwich that you couldn’t make yourself for less than $100 even if I gave you all of my recipes!
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If you did want to make one for yourself, you’d spend at least 2 hours driving and shopping for ingredients, 3-4 hours of prep, 6-8 hours of cooking time, at least an hour cleaning up, and you’d probably throw away 20-40% of the ingredients you bought like every other American household. I mean, if you factor in your hourly income, amortized rent for your home kitchen, health insurance, electricity, gas, home owners insurance, property tax, mortgage or rent, waste, and all the other things you never think about how much it costs to have a home kitchen to cook in, I’d be surprised if you could make one for less than a $500 or even $1000! You're getting a steal of a deal at $28.99!!
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Without enough orders, we won't make any, so be sure to tell your friends and buy enough for everyone that’s never had one! A deal better than this is only available at nearly every restaurant you’ve ever been to, so don’t waste a second! Hop on PigWizard.com NOW to PRE-order this amazing PigWizard porchetta sandwich.
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This special offer ends on 4/5 at 11:59pm, so don't wait and miss out on this limited time offer of an amazing PigWizard porchetta sandwich for just $28.99. If available, sandwiches sold on Saturday 4/7 will be $35.99 each, so PRE-order now to get it as this special price!
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(Tax not included. Tipping is completely discretional, because this price includes a living wage not dependent on the emotional blackmail currently used to make your food seem cheaper while giving you a power trip over someone who can barely afford rent and food for their kids. If we get enough orders, we will actually follow through, but everyone will be refunded if we don’t, because we can't make enough money to pay our bills at anything less than this price for a certain number of orders.)

03/31/2023

In-store sale!! Buy 4, get one free! Friday 3/31 & Sat 4/1 only.

Buy any 4 bags of Caramel PorkCorn and get 1 free! Now open 9am-5pm, Tuesday-Saturday.

Can’t make it this weekend? Free shipping for online orders over $35 dollars! www.PigWizard.com

03/31/2023

FREE SHIPPING!

To celebrate our new adventure in wizardry, all online orders of Caramel Porkcorn over $35 will get free shipping. AND, we've opened for instore sales 5 days a week (Tues-Sat, 9am-5pm) and as a convenience store, cheekily named Formerly Known as PigWizard.

We won't be making sandwiches, or sausages, or cured meats, because we need to cease all other cooking operations to apply and be granted USDA inspection for Caramel PorKCorn. We will have more beers, snacks, ice and ice cream, etc....we are even selling CLAM chowder on Fridays and Saturdays. No, I didn't spell ham chowder wrong, and also no, we are not making it ourselves.

This means PigWizard would have a product that it can distribute to other stores, markets and stadiums legally, which it could not do with the previous state inspection. If you're interested in resale of Caramel PorkCorn, please let us know so we can put you on the wholesalers mailing list! Currently, there are no plans to make any other products under USDA inspection for a variety of reasons.

If all of this makes you sad all over again, at what has been lost by PigWizard closing, I urge you most aggressively to go eat at your favorite restaurants as much as you can afford. In my nearly 30 years in restaurants, this winter is the worst conditions I have ever seen for the industry. Nearly three years of COVID, massive inflation in the cost of goods, labor and real estate, plus major flooding and repeated power outrages have made razor thing profit margins disappear.

Go enjoy them before they are gone.

Click here for an update from PigWizard!