10/21/2026
I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence lately and what that looks like as a pseudo public-facing person. I suspect most who grew up in the 80s/90s were deeply entrenched in the mindset that confidence = an extroverted, popular, well-spoken, gregarious, people-person. As I’ve matured, I’ve realized this brand of confidence sometimes feels too loud, almost oppressive, especially when served with a side of righteousness. I’ve realized I find those who are confidently humble much more appealing, though I acknowledge everyone has their own flavor preference.
I needed something to quiet my public speaking jitters before presenting at my school board meeting on Monday and was struck by a TED Talk about the light we shine as speakers – are you a spotlight? Or a lighthouse? A spotlight is someone whose light shines on themselves, drawing attention to them. A lighthouse is someone whose light shines to guide people, drawing attention to the substance of what is being said. A lighthouse is no less ‘confident’ than a spotlight; they just shine their light differently.
I didn’t have a lot of confidence when I started growing flowers. Sometimes I lost my way, awed and distracted by those who spoke with the authority of someone fresh out of a 90s public speaking class. Thankfully over time I found my people – growers who are humble, who are thoughtful learners, who are focused more on flowers than on themselves. My confidence and knowledge have both grown, but this little light of mine is not done learning. The spotlight can stay on the flowers; I’d choose to be a humble beacon any day.
